Jocelyn tells her birth story in her own words…

First was long, hard and not what I was expecting.

Logan was due on the 24th of January 2019 but he had other plans and didn't arrive until the 5th of Feb.

As I was overdue, I was due to be induced the morning of 4th of Feb, however at 12am that day I had my first contraction. Feeling excited that it was finally happening, I got no sleep and the contractions were 6-10 mins apart. At 2am, I got up and had a shower, as even though they were far apart I had so much pain in my back with each one, the warm water felt amazing.

I had called the hospital to let them know what was happening and they said to come in when I was getting 3-4 contractions within 10mins and lasting 1min. I woke my husband at 4.30 because I felt I was needing some support/distraction and by 6am the contractions were doing what the hospital said and the back pain was increasing.

The car ride in SUCKED! When we arrived, I requested to be checked and was sure I'd be 3-4 cm but was really disheartened to hear I was only 1cm. The midwife asked if I wanted to go home to labour in my own space, however, back pain with contractions was terrible, the thought of being in the car made me panic and I didn't want to leave.

I spent the next few hours between the shower and having my husband squeeze my hips for relief. By 3pm I asked to be checked again and I had reached 4cm and they suspected that bub was posterior, which was causing the constant back pain and harder for him to descend down. I felt disheartened again, as I really had in my mind I could do it without pain relief and started questioning this decision.

The midwives offered the saline water injections in the your back. They warned me it could feel like a bee sting and to bite down on something. The pain as they injected was nothing like I felt before, I screamed and bit into the pillow, but thinking "this is to help, this is to help". Unfortunately it didn't, I had maybe 10 mins of relief and then it was back. They offered to do them again but I couldn't do it, instead I tried the gas.

The gas felt good for maybe 30 mins, I think it was more having something else to focus on. I kept on it until about 5ish when ak decided I needed something more and opted an epidural.

I knew the epi would give me some relief and a chance to rest, which it did when it was administered at about 8/9pm.

From here they would check every 2 hours and at the 2am check I was 9cm, but had spiked a temperature. I was hooked up to IV antibiotics and the put the sculp monitor on bubs head. The OB came in and said they would give me an hour to get to 10cm but if not we would have to discuss options as they were starting to worry about bub.

At 3am, I was 10cm and they were giving me some time for practice pushes and for the OB to come and check baby again.  I i had stupidly let the epidural wear off as I thought feeling the contractions would help me know when to push, this was a stupid decision on my part. I went from 0 pain to 100 real fast. With this, the infection and I was starting to become exhausted I could tell the midwife was worried. Without really knowing what was going on, I knew she had pressed a button and was on the phone. The lights all came on, people appeared and the OB was back. It wasn't an emergency situation but they wanted me to know my options as they needed bub out asap.

The OB explained that baby was posterior and his head was hitting the side of my cervix. I was in so much pain that I was begging for them to "get him out now PLEASE!"

Due to my temp, bub being in a little distress and my exhaustion, they decided to take me to theatre to attempt forceps but be ready for a c-section. As we were on the way, the Dr said if the forceps didn't get him out, they would be pushing him back up to perform a c-section. Hearing "we will push him back up" gave me the motivation I needed to get this boy out, no way was he going back up!!

With an episiotomy, the forceps and 1 big push, his head was out. He was put straight on my chest, crying and healthy.

Whilst it was not the birth I was expecting/wanting, I was grateful my baby boy was safe and sound in my arms.

For my daughters birth, it was polar opposite! I did more prep this time, including a class with Tracey at Transform Parenting and it completely altered my second birth to the healing experience I needed.

Billie was due on the 12th of November 2022.

On the 4th of November I woke with some period cramping on and off but honestly didn't thinking anything of it. After Logans birth, I knew I had a while left. I got up, had a warm shower and then a nap on the couch.

I got a call at 11am to pick Logan up from care as he was sick, this was the first time that had ever happened so I joked with his carer that I'd go into labour that night.

Still not thinking anything of the very mild cramps, we got a lot of things done that day, including a trip to bunnings, putting shelves up and other household things.

At 7.30pm, I was sitting with Logan on the couch whilst my husband was in another room putting frames up. Logan asked for something and I stood up (from our brand new couch) and my waters broke. I called to my husband who wandered out thinking something was up with Logan, to me standing there cupping my crouch saying "I think my waters just broke".

Called the hospital and they wanted me to go get checked. We packed Logan up and I had a tearful goodbye as Brad took him to my sisters. I had a long shower, packed my hospital bag and got ready to head up knowing they would send me back home to labour. In the car, Brad and I were discussing what movie we'd watch when we got home.

I was having contractions but standing, swaying and breathing through them was working. I didn't know how often they were coming but once we got to the hospital at 9pm, Brad was timing them for himself and told me later they were 2-3 mins apart and lasting 1min. We were in the Maternity Assessment Unit waiting area for about an hour, labouring, chatting and still assuming I'm going home.

They took me in at 10 and hooked me up to be monitored but made sure I could still stand and sway. I was also squeezing a comb during the contraction which I found so helpful.

At 11, I was starting to really feel them and was over being in this bright room. I didn't want pain relief this birth but I knew I needed to set my space to help me. We called the midwife in and I asked if I could go home yet to which she replied "no love, you're going to birthing". I was fine with this, meant I could get my bath and other labour things happening. We put my TENS machine on but after 2 contractions I pulled it off, it wasn't for me.

Brad went down to get our bags and whilst he was gone things started to amp up, as he came back in to the room it was about 11.30 and I told him I would need an epidural. In my head, I had hours to go thinking of Logans birth.

The midwife came back and I told her I wanted the epidural and she let me know they were about to take me to the birthing centre and we could discuss the plan for the epi there, however, I think she knew I was transitioning and was not getting the epi.

My husband assisted me to move position and was helping me with some pressure on my hips. Then I hear the midwife come in and ask if I'm pushing. I was in my zone and no chance of me answering any questions now. Whilst I didn't feel as I was pushing, my body was going through the rejection reflex.

I'm leaning over the chair, my husband tells me he is turning me around to get my tights off. Well, he thought that but no way was I moving, you guys can work this out in the position I'm in. The midwife so nicely and quietly let's me know she is taking my shoes and pants off, and I start to hear other people in the room but I was paying attention.

My pants are off and I'm crowning, 3 pushes and my baby girl is out.

Born at exactly midnight, her birth card reads 5/11/2023 @ 00:00.

We never made it to the birth suite and she was born in the MAU with the loveliest midwife. I got my healing birth.

What do you wish you knew before birth?
First time around, I wish I had known I could prep for it. You never know what will happen and every birth is completely different, but going in with different coping mechanisms is a massive help. I wish I had looked into this more, practised my breath work and prepared my husband more. He was a fantastic support both times, but second time he had actual tools and understanding ready to help me.

If you could, would you do anything differently?

Other than preparing myself more the first time, I honestly wouldn't change anything. No matter how it happened, I have my two perfect kids now and to me that's what matters most.

What did your partner do that really helped during labour/birth?

Pressure on my hips, it was amazing! Second time he was giving back tickles and head massages which was really helpful between contractions. Also his understanding of the labour process the second time, and he knew when I asked for the epidural I was transitioning and used his tools from our birth class to help me through the last part was the best.

What advice/honest truth would give a mama-to-be about birth?

Trust your gut, ask questions and know that there always options. I am in awe of medical professionals but I also know they are giving their best opinion and it might not be what is best for you, you can ask for other options.

Birth is amazing, bloody hard work, and no two births are the same. So arm yourself with knowledge and take on what you think would work for you but don't feel like you have to take on everyone's advice.