Sarah tells her birth story in her own words…

This is the first time I have ever put words on paper to recount the birth of our daughter Ada.

Those last few weeks of my pregnancy I spent a lot of time trying to relax and prepare as much as I could. The house was tidied every day ‘just in case’ and I listened to Australian birth stories non-stop! I was extremely anxious for our baby to be here safe. My husband and I lost two pregnancies before falling pregnant with Ada and I had experienced complications following a D&C in the midst of covid lockdowns. I had an overwhelming feeling of doubt throughout my whole pregnancy. Every time I went to the toilet I would ‘wipe and check’ worried I would be bleeding, I had crippling anxiety before a scan (‘scanxiety’), I second guessed her movements, the way I was feeling, I almost drove myself crazy. I realised I wouldn’t be able to relax until she was in my arms.  

I went into labour in the early hours of July 18. I was 39+3 and relieved to have gone into spontaneous labour. Initially I felt that it was just horrible back pain yet again, I couldn’t get comfortable in bed, up to the toilet again and again, another night of pregnancy insomnia. Then I realised the discomfort was coming in waves. I moved into our living room and turned on Friends to have on in the back ground. Before I knew it I was experiencing contractions 5 minutes apart and they stopped me in my tracks. The only position that was comfortable was on all fours or in childs pose on the birth ball.  I had rung John James at this stage to speak to a midwife and she confirmed it sounded like I was in early labour. I had an appointment that morning at 10am to see my OB for a blood pressure check, so we rang ahead to say things were under way but figured it wouldn’t hurt to check how things were going.

They quickly scanned bub and sent me over to the hospital as the contractions were regular and strong. We waddled over to maternity and they took me into one of the birth suites to put a CTG on and to check my progress. The midwife was unable to find my cervix, stating that it must have been too ‘high’. I found this quite deflating given the pain I was experiencing and having had contractions for around 10 hours at this stage. I proceeded to bounce on the ball, walk the halls, and breath through the contractions on all fours. This went on throughout the afternoon. I was vomiting and getting very tired.

My OB came in to check on me at around 7pm, he performed another cervical examination and told me I was 3-4cm dilated. I couldn’t believe it. All that effort, labouring all day and I still wasn’t in active labour, I was gutted. I remember feeling as though baby could have been posterior given the excruciating pain I was feeling in my back with each contraction. He did a quick ultrasound and confirmed that bub was indeed sitting posterior. At this stage I was feeling so exhausted and opted to have an epidural. Tony helped me to the shower before having to get back into the bed, and before we knew it the room was prepped ready to go. I will never forget how kind the anaesthetist was, he made me feel so comfortable and at ease, like it was the right decision.

The epidural went in around 9pm. Part of me thought ‘why didn’t I do this sooner?!’ but the other part of me was proud for giving it a good crack without. The game plan from here was to get some rest with the epidural on board and hope that come morning bub had turned and I was ready to push. The lights hadn’t even gone off when I heard the dreaded sound of bubs heart rate dropping. It continued to go back to normal before dropping again. I knew this was not a good sign and that bub was distressed. Little did I know my midwife had already called my OB and he was on his way back in. The midwife had broken my waters at this stage to put a scalp clip on baby’s head to more accurately monitor the heart rate but there was no change. It was then that our OB had a very frank conversation with us. He was eager to proceed to a caesarean and get bub here safe. I’ll admit, I was defeated that bub and I couldn’t go the distance despite all our efforts! But getting her here healthy was our utmost priority. Once the decision was made we were so excited that we were about to meet our baby.

We were whisked away to theatre and while everyone was so efficient, the atmosphere remained extremely calm and controlled. Our obstetrician had spoken to Tony before everything was ready and offered for him to go behind the drape once the main incision had been made, to witness our child being born. He went from being at my side holding my hand to then disappearing behind the drape. I waited with bated breath for that first cry, in complete disbelief the moment was finally here. The drape was dropped and there she was, our little angel, finally earthside. We didn’t know she was a girl until that very moment and it still takes my breath away to think about it. We are so happy we waited and kept her gender a surprise.

She was quickly taken to the resuscitaire for the paediatrician to examine her. Tony cut the cord and put her first nappy on. I was able to witness all of this from where I was lying, tears of joy streaming down my face. As Tony was bringing her over to me, the midwife asked ‘does she have a name?’ and Tony exclaimed ‘It’s Ada!’, named after his dear Nonna. We were able to have skin to skin, a feeling I can only explain as euphoric, and after I was stitched up our midwife helped with Ada’s first latch at the breast. Recovery from the caesarean was no easy feat, however I was in awe of how well my body adjusted in order to care for our sweet girl.

Fast forward to now and we are utterly obsessed with our little lady. She is the light of our lives, our rainbow after the storm, and we consider ourselves so lucky to be her parents.

What do you wish you knew before birth?
I wish I knew just how transformative birth is for the mother. This is very difficult to articulate until you have experienced it. Those close to me had tried to explain it but I could not appreciate it properly until I was living it. You grow this child for 9 months, they move inside you, you imagine your life with this little person and what your future may look like etc. But the transition from woman to mother, also known as ‘matrescence’, is so profound and changes you forever.

If you could, would you do anything differently?

No, I don’t think so. It may not have gone exactly how I would have planned, but then again, I tried to have realistic expectations about birth. I did the prenatal yoga, tried to stay active before and during birth but Ada had other plans. Regardless, her birth was an overwhelmingly positive experience in the end which gives me great comfort.

What did your partner do that really helped during labour/birth?

His calm presence was so helpful during labour. He has quite the sense of humour at the best of times so was light hearted when the moment called for it and then serious when he needed to be. Some firm back massage, water refills, heat pack runs and a hand to hold whenever I needed it really made the difference.

What advice/honest truth would give a mama-to-be about birth?

The best advice I could give is to educate yourself and go into the experience with an open mind. Trust your gut and do whatever is best for you in the moment. I think it’s very easy to get caught up in all the ‘shoulds’ of child birth and the comparison culture. Advocate for whatever is right for you and your baby on that day.