Tegan tells her birth story in her own words…

My birth story goes a little something like this I guess!

Matilda’s due date was the 22nd of March 2022. We started to approach this date and I was almost diagnosed with Cholestasis at about the 37 week mark, which would have meant I would be induced in the 38th week. Luckily I just seemed to have most of the symptoms of Cholestasis but my liver was functioning just fine!

Once we were in the clear for the Cholestasis I finished work on the 11th of March and each and every day I did EVERY single thing I could to try and bring on labour with this baby. Every day that passed I had my fingers and toes crossed that it might be the next day! Little did I know that those 10 days after finishing work wouldn’t bring on labour, and neither would the 9 days post my due date!

I didn’t have any signs whatsoever, no Braxton hicks, no passing of my mucus plug or ANYTHING! And for those that know me, I am the most impatient person in the whole world so this was really really hard. My partner would leave the house each morning for work and say, ‘can you just have a baby today?’.

Once we reached Sunday 27 March,  I had been checked by the midwife up at the Queanbeyan Hospital for being past my due date. They told me to come back up (if I hadn’t naturally gone into labour) on Wednesday 30 March in the morning. So on the Tuesday night, I packed my bags and put everything into the car ready to have a baby.

Wednesday morning, I arrived at the hospital at about 9:30am and was put into a room to be checked. They told me that my cervix was rather posterior and I was not looking like labour was coming. My mum and my partner then joined me up at the hospital that morning ready to settle in!

From then, they induced me initially with the tape method, which initially was fine but after about 5 hours had really kicked my body into gear. I was really quite sensitive to the tape and had moved from a calm state of regular but light contractions to a pretty worked up state (sweating and a bit shakey) with contractions every 5-10 minutes.

Once they removed the tape, they then checked me again and let me know I was about 3cm dilated which was good progress. They then left me from there to continue in early labour naturally and that was where things started to feel a bit more real!

From then on, I was having pretty consistent contractions about every 20-30 minutes and they were increasing in intensity. The increased intensity actually made me start to spew which was not fun at all.

By the night-time, I still had my mum and my partner with me and they had kindly given us one fold out bed. Don’t ask me why, but my partner enjoys sleeping on the floor and so my mum had the fold out bed. Half way through the night the midwife made my mum swap with my partner (which he didn’t even remember in the night and asked why he wasn’t on the floor anymore).

Through the night, the contractions continued to increase in intensity and also became far more regular at about 5-10 minute intervals. I was unable to get comfortable in bed laying down, so I had the bed fully upright and was sitting with my legs hanging over the side leaning on the bed to try and close my eyes to sleep. I was watching the clock and would get nervous once a few minutes had passed and knew another contraction was coming.

At about 6.30am the following morning the contractions had almost completely stopped which the midwives were a little confused and concerned. I then was moved into the birthing suite and was checked again to find out that I was 5cm dilated which was great news, and the obstetrician on duty told me that I would have the baby by lunch time (which at 8.30am was music to my ears) but boy was she wrong.

Once they had checked me again, they broke my waters (which let me tell you is an EXPERIENCE that I was not expecting and was certainly glad it didn’t happen outside of the hospital!!!) and started the labour process by giving me oxytocin and syntocinon (I think I but I can’t really remember).

The initial dose was manageable at the time and I started to have regular contractions again about every 15 minutes and they were bearable. They increased the dose a little which was okay and still manageable but by that point I had requested the gas. Once they increased the dose a third time, my body went into meltdown. I hadn’t quite worked out the gas and would start sucking it in far too late for it to kick in before the peak of the contraction and I would just get frustrated and hold my breath.

I then went into a contraction cycle that just kept ebbing and flowing and wasn’t giving me any break in between the contractions. At this point I was really struggling with the pain of the contractions, and the only way I could find relief was standing at the bedside slightly hunched over and squeezing everything in. I continued to struggle once they dialled back the dose a little and requested the epidural. I think by this point I was a bit broken. I was struggling with the pain, I had not had any sleep overnight, and there didn’t seem to be an end in sight (mind you these contractions went on for about 5-6 hours).

 I was really lucky that on the Thursday there were no other women in labour in the Maternity ward at Queanbeyan. I pretty much had all of the midwives and medical staff at my beck and call. I only waiting about 10-15 minutes before the anaethetist arrived and was able to administer the epidural. By this point, I was about 8cm dilated and it was about 2pm. Once I had the epidural, kicked in I felt a lot better and they had increased the dose of oxytocin dramatically. I was able to have a little bit of food, and then had a sleep until about 6pm.

Once I had woken they checked me again and despite the increase in drugs, I still was only 8cm dilated. They let me have a little bit more rest and hoped that in the next hour and a half that I might progress a little further. They checked me again at 7.30pm and again there was no progress past 8cm. The midwife asked the obstetrician to come in and check that she was right in that I had not progressed anymore. The obstetrician then told me that she thought the best thing to do moving forward was to have a caesarean to have this baby out. There was absolutely no distress at all in either myself or the baby at this point in time.

The obstetrician gave my partner and I a moment as I was fairly emotional at that point. I, for some reason, had really talked myself into a place that I didn’t want a caesarean at all. I think I was really afraid of the recovery process. My partner said to me, ‘who really cares how our little girl comes into this world, as long as she is here safe and you are safe that is all that matters and we won’t even remember in a few years how it happened anyway’. I was so grateful that he was so calm and able to talk a bit of sense into me.

 Only about 40 minutes later we had welcomed our little baby into this world at 8:09pm on Thursday 31st March. It was the most amazing feeling in the world hearing her do her first little cry and seeing my partner just melt at the sight of her. Once she was here they placed her straight onto my chest which was just beautiful. I was still really spewing a lot both during and after the procedure, which in the end wasn’t a bad thing because my partner got to hold Matilda for probably the first 45 minutes of her life while I was being stitched back together.

I will never ever forget that moment. My partner was just over the moon and neither of us could stop crying.

What do you wish you knew before birth?

I think I wish I had have educated myself a little more on how to get through the pain, whether that be hypnobirthing or other methods. I definitely think one of the reasons that I was unable to progress and be fully dilated (despite the Obstetrician telling me that my body was just telling me that the baby was to big to fit haha) was that I was really internalising the pain. I was not open to getting in the shower, or the bath or even just moving around. I had stood still and was tensing every muscle in my body whenever the pain started.

I also wish I had educated myself more on caesarean births. I think I had just thought that I wouldn’t be one of the 30% of women that end their childbirth in a caesarean section birth. The ‘horrid recovery’ that I had painted a picture of in my head was really non existent. I was really lucky and recovered exceptionally well from the caesarean with no complications at all.

If you could, would you do anything differently?

I would do the same thing over and over and over again. I was so so so happy with everything that happened in our birth and would not have ever changed a single thing.

What did your partner do that really helped during labour/birth?

I was honestly really not reliant on him. And I am sure he actually probably preferred it that way. I really didn’t want to be touched through the whole thing and I am not sure why. I really only relied on him to hold my spew bag for me during one of the 8 times I had spewed, which is actually a huge thing for him because he really hates spew. The first spew was hard for him and I think he almost spewed himself but by the last one during the caesarean I think he was even making sure my hair was out of my face the sweet man.

What advice/honest truth would give a mama-to-be about birth?

I honestly think that some people really, really over think these things. Birth is something that has been happening for thousands of years and women have survived. I also think that it is SO so important to be aware of your pain relief options. I fully understand that some people want to do these things drug free and good on them. But the pain is something that is unexplainable, and there are really really safe options (that again have been used for a very very long time) to relieve the pain to make the birth so much more enjoyable.