CW: This story involves a premature birth and NICU.

My birth story started when my water broke at 4am, at 28 weeks pregnant.

Quite the shock, my husband and I drove quite hastily to the MAU at Centenary Hospital for Women and Children.FUp until this point my pregnancy had been relatively normal, morning sickness and swollen ankles being the big concerns. I was 31 and it was an IVF pregnancy.

We arrived at MAU and the amazing Midwife (Rachel) welcomed us in and quickly reassured us that bub was okay by monitoring the heartbeat. After that point what faced us seemed doable. Bub was okay, we were okay.We were soon after met with many doctors, for me and bub.

The Neonatal doctor met with us within two hours of arriving at the hospital. She explained that 28-week babies had very high chances of survival, however this would be a journey. A journey of ups and downs. She gave advice that we should celebrate every milestone and take the downs in stride.

I was given medication to boost lung development for bub and sent to relax and be monitored. At this point I was not in labour. For the next two days nothing happened. I continued to be monitored and still showed no signs of going into labour.

We were told it was possible I wouldn’t go into labour, and we could continue the pregnancy. Although risk of infection was high due to my waters having been broken.

While waiting I asked all the questions about what birth would be like and how quickly they would take bub to the NICU. I was told if bub came out breathing independently and looking good, I would have 1 minute of skin to skin.

If bub was breathing independently but wasn’t looking really good, they would roll her next to me in the incubator for a few minutes.

If bub wasn’t doing well, they would take her to the NICU immediately.

At 4am Saturday morning I began to have some very light cramps. The midwives confirmed I was going into labour. At this point we were still so calm. Again, bub was okay, we were okay.

By 6am I had been moved to the birthing suite and was feeling the weight of contractions. I am certainly not someone that can cope with physical pain well, never have been. I quickly worded the midwife up and was offered some pain relief options.

Remembering I was 28 weeks, so I hadn’t had any birthing classes so really knew nothing about birth and pain relief other than stories from my friends.

I was given morphine and that really helped. It seemed to minimise the pain slightly, but more importantly increased the break between contractions.

The small birthing room was packed! I had two midwives, a doctor for me and there were three on the neonatal team. They had to wait in the room the entire time. They did well trying to give me privacy, but it was also reassuring that they were very ready, and their absolute priority was bub.

Birth moved quickly and Violet arrived at 9.58am. To our immense relief the midwife placed Violet on my stomach, and we were gifted a moment with her.

Although this moment was not what I expected. It wasn’t the moment you dream of. It was a moment of relief that she was okay. But then all I wanted was for the doctors to take her to really make sure she was okay.

I take my hat off for all the women that give birth without pain relief and to a full-term baby! Violet weighed in at 1.3kgs and boy did I complain when I was pushing. What I would have done with a big baby (my husband was 5kgs, so I was expecting a decent sized bub) I don’t know.

We were able to visit Violet in the NICU very soon after. And I was able to have a cuddle as well. I was discharged the next morning, and this is when it all hit us. Leaving the hospital without Violet was by far the hardest thing I have done. The first week of this long and up and down journey was exhausting, scary and depressing. A mixture of a scary experience and postpartum hormones really took hold.

To my absolute relief this lifted quickly as we gained trust in the NICU team and made a schedule for visiting, keeping sane and looking after ourselves.

My placenta was biopsied to see why my waters broke so early. A small infection was found but it was communicated that this could have been due to the 50 or so hours between waters breaking and giving birth. Essentially, we do not know why this happened, which is a bit frustrating.

Our journey in the NICU was a total of 10 weeks and 5 days.  We learnt a lot including all the medical lingo, something I am sure we will never forget.

We were very lucky and didn’t have too many downs in our journey. Violet is so brave and took on so many things in her first few months including multiple blood tests, eye tests, head and heart scans and cannulas. Plus being on CPAP for 8 of those weeks.

The reason I wanted to share my birth story was to really highlight the team at the Centenary Hospital for Women and Children NICU.

From the doctors, nurses, nutrition(milk management hero’s) and cleaners. All had an incredible amount of empathy, understanding and knowledge.

They shared in positive and negative moments with us and treated Violet like a baby and not a patient.

Some moments included them sharing in my first breastfeeding experience and genuinely being just as delighted as me, taking our first family picture, running Violets first bath, and teaching us how to swaddle.

We left the NICU at 9 weeks to go to North Canberra Hospital to be closer to home.

As I walked out with Violet, the driver and transport nurse (Jackie, an absolute legend at that place) so many of the team congratulated us and said goodbye. It was such a bittersweet moment. We were so happy to be going to the next stage, closer to getting Violet home, but I knew I would miss these amazing people.

As a first-time mum it would be hard enough to leave your baby with your mum or mother-in-law. We had to leave Violet everyday with this team. To put our trust in them, for me, meant I had to make them my family.

A small note to add that the North Canberra special care nursery team were also nothing short of amazing.

As I write this Violet has been home for 5 and a bit weeks. And is now over 4kgs and in excellent health.

It has been so great having her home and getting to experience some of those normal newborn moments.

If any of the NICU and SCN team are reading this, thank you for all you do. And if any parents are reading this and are going through a NICU journey, it does end.

What do you wish you knew before birth?

I didn’t know much! Being at 28 weeks we hadn’t gone to any birth classes or had much education at all.

So maybe just general knowledge and coping mechanisms.

If you could, would you do anything differently?

No, I don’t think so. Nothing that was in my control.

What did your partner do that really helped during labour/birth?

My husband was a great advocate for mine and Violet's care during the whole process. It is important to have someone to question things. He was also Chief of Hydration. After each contraction I demanded water.

What advice/honest truth would give a mama-to-be about birth?

Be ready to shift gears as things don’t always go to plan.