CW: This story involves a traumatic birth and NICU.

As this was my second pregnancy, I knew what I was in for, having HG with my first and then experiencing it again the second time around. For the first 20 weeks I was constantly nauseous and just as I was starting to feel better, my husband Scott and I went into the 20 week scan excited to confirm the gender of our baby.

The excitement was no longer when the sonographer wanted to do a vaginal ultrasound and then suggested I had a short cervix and needed to see my DR ASAP as there was a risk for preterm birth.

I was then referred to a larger hospital in the city where I had regular checkups and countless vaginal ultrasounds over the next 8 weeks and I started taking vaginal progesterone immediately, all the way up to 36 weeks in hopes to reduce the risk of preterm labour. I had my first son Ollie at 38 weeks, so I was expecting something similar the second time around.

After all that, thinking we might’ve had a premmie baby, here I was still pregnant at 39 weeks! I went to my weekly checkup with a midwife and dr from my local hospital, had a stretch and sweep and the Dr said I was already 5cm dilated 🤯 She said we’d book another appointment for a weeks time just incase, but she honestly thought she’d see me the next day or within that next week ready to give birth.

Another week went by and I was still pregnant haha. I had my next follow up appointment at 40+3. I was experiencing constant lightning crotch and felt so uncomfortable in my tummy and back. My hubby Scott had come with me to this appointment and we had packed our bags, just incase it was possible for me to be induced that day.

The Dr on said it was in fact possible and I had my waters broken that afternoon at 3:10pm. Initially they had trouble actually breaking my waters but eventually got there and within about 20 mins I was on the ball bouncing and started getting cramps.

I started getting contractions but they were very slow and 2 hours later the midwife asked if I wanted to think about getting the oxytocin drip to speed things up. I looked at the clock and it was around 5:30pmand I remember thinking, I feel like this is just going to happen really soon. So I said we’ll wait a half hour, until 6pm, see how things are and go from there.

By 6pm the contractions were getting stronger and close together and around 6:30pm I had to use the toilet where I had 3 huge contractions within the space of a minute or two and then had the sudden urge to push.

I hopped on the bed on all fours and began to push. The whole time they were struggling to find the babies heart rate, which was a cause of concern on its own. They had me moving around into different positions to see if they could locate it, but they just kept hearing mine instead of the babies.

I kept pushing in this time feeling like I was finally at the end and kept asking if I was getting close, but I was told to just keep pushing. The dr came in to check on things and as he put the mirror up to see what was happening, his voice changed and suddenly there was a sense of urgency.

He said he could see the umbilical cord on top of the babies head and with consent he pushed the babies head back up to take pressure off the cord as bubs was getting limited oxygen.

This was excruciatingly painful (oh and did I mention I had no pain relief 😅) the Dr said we didn’t have time for an emergency cesarean, so in the middle of a contraction I rolled onto my back, and they put my legs in the stirrups (all whilst still pushing the babies head back in me) and quickly grabbed the ventouse (vacuum extractor).

With a few pushes Sunny was born 24/7/2023 at 7:26pm, weighing 3.9kg and a head circumference of 36cm.

Limp and blue I saw him coming towards me, looking absolutely lifeless and I don’t think my heart has ever sunk so low. They quickly placed him on the table and started resuscitating, whilst a swarm of doctors and nurses came running in.

There was so much noise but I couldn’t hear a thing. Scott was laying over me absolutely hysterical and squeezing my hand so hard but I was just completely numb.

Thoughts started racing into my mind about how I’d grown this human for 9 months, all for it to be taken away so quickly. Thinking about how Ollie would never have a sibling, or how we’d never get to meet our baby boy.

It was like a movie and it seemed to go on for so long, with everybody focused on saving our bubba and us having absolutely no clue what was unfolding.

After 12 minutes of resuscitation we heard a Dr say “return of circulation”.

So much relief? But also so much worry… How was this baby going to be going forward ? How are our lives going to change from this?

The Dr came over and gave us an update, said that Sunny was on oxygen but was doing well considering what happened. He explained that it was a cord prolapse, which is when the umbilical cord exits the cervix before the baby. There was compression of the cord, between the head and my cervix/birth canal resulting in limited blood flow and oxygen to Sunny.

Possibly resulting in fetal hypoxia (which is a frightening word in itself), possibly leading to fetal death or disability if not managed rapidly, which is what the team did, luckily!

He was off oxygen within 30 minutes, which was amazing. A little fighter from the get go.

We had the SAAS MedSTAR, which are an emergency retrieval service with highly trained paramedics, come to the hospital to collect Sunny and transfer him to a larger hospital in the city.

He was in the NICU for 5 days, 3 of those days he was spent on a cooling pad to help protect his brain from seizures, and attached to all these different monitors all over his body and brain. It was awful.

Lucky I got to cuddle him shortly after he was born, because after that it was 4 long days before we had our first proper cuddle and breastfeed. All I could do was be at his bed side and hold his little hand 💔

He had constant check ups; an MRI, ultrasounds, ECG scans, multiple rounds of antibiotics, heavy pain relief, the works. But he passed everything with flying colours.

It was only after the sedative wore off from the MRI that his oxygen levels kept dipping, so we were sent home on oxygen with a further review.

One in hospital sleep study and one home oximetry test later and Sunny was able to come off oxygen.

Sunny is now 9 months old, absolutely thriving, a social butterfly, and meeting all his milestones.

He has just started moving and is the happiest bubba. A literal ray of sunshine ☀️ our precious baby boy that we couldn’t live without.

Although this was a traumatic birth, with traumatic events, we are so very lucky and grateful that it resulted in the best possible outcome…as we know for some this is not always the case and our hearts go out to those people ❤️

What do you wish you knew before birth?

I had in my head that this was going to be another magical and empowering birth, just like my first birth with Ollie. I guess you can think all of the positive thoughts in the world and imagine how it might be, but sometimes birth turns out nothing like what you imagined in your mind, sometimes unfathomable. But that’s ok.

If you could, would you do anything differently?

Probably not get my waters broken manually, to be honest. But then again, Sunny is here and well so maybe I wouldn’t change a thing?

What did your partner do that really helped during labour/birth?

Just a constant support; holding my hand, feeding me water, pressing cold flannels against my forehead and neck, advocating for me, and most of all just being there and us getting through it together.

What advice/honest truth would give a mama-to-be about birth?

It bloody hurts haha but honestly, our bodies were made to do this and you’re stronger than you think. I had two drug free births and both were so empowering. It brought out parts of me I’d never seen, strength I didn’t even know I had.

Oh and my mum gave me the best advice before my first birth with Ollie, she said “leave your dignity at the door” haha and it’s so true. Once you’re in that much pain, you honestly don’t care about what’s unfolding and what the nurses and drs will see... they see it on a daily basis. So pretty much do what you have to, to get that baby out safely 😅

For anyone experiencing loss and in need of support, there are resources available to help.

• Sands Australia: 24/7 bereavement support for miscarriage, stillbirth, and newborn death. sands.org.au

• Red Nose Grief and Loss: Provides support for families experiencing the death of a baby or child. rednosegriefandloss.com.au

• Bears of Hope: Grief support for pregnancy and infant loss. bearsofhope.org.au

• The Pink Elephants Support Network: Support for early pregnancy loss and miscarriage. pinkelephants.org.au