My pregnancy was relatively smooth, but as I approached my due date I was feeling huge and hot and over it. At 39 weeks there were no signs that labour was near, and baby was sitting high and was not engaged. I wasn’t keen on going past 41 weeks, so at my obstetrician’s appointment we made a plan that if nothing happened beforehand, I would have an induction at 40+5.

Labour did not kick off spontaneously, so I arrived at John James hospital the afternoon of my planned induction. My doctor inserted the cervidil tape and I spent the afternoon watching game shows on tv with my husband and my mum and sister snuck into the hospital with a box of Maltesers. Nothing much was happening, so I sent my husband home to get some rest. A midwife came around and offered me a sleeping pill. I took the medication and it knocked me out.

Around 2am I was drifting in and out of sleep when I heard a *POP*. I walked to the bathroom to investigate and there was a huge gush of waters all over my pyjamas and the floor, just like in the movies! It was quite a shock and in that moment it clicked that I was not just having a fun sleepover at the hospital but in fact I was having a baby.

I texted my husband to come back to the hospital. The fluid was clear, so the midwife recommended I go back to sleep. I was still groggy from the pill so slept for another hour or so when I started feeling some rhythmic tightening. These started to intensify, and my husband put the TENS pads on my back. I had read Birth Skills by Juju Sundin during pregnancy and her chapter on vocalisation to manage the pain of labour resonated with me. As the tightening turned into painful contractions I got louder and louder; trying to get bigger than the pain. By about 6am I was absolutely roaring with each contraction and smashing the boost function on my TENS machine.

A midwife popped into my room and told me it was time to move to the birth suite. I had one or two contractions on the walk down the hall, no doubt waking the other mothers and babies in the ward.

Arriving in the birth suite I met my fantastic midwife Mel and student midwife Tracey. Mel kindly suggested that I might wear myself out with all the howling I was doing and offered the nitrous oxide gas. From my first suck of the gas I was absolutely hooked! About 7am my doctor checked me and advised that I was 2-3cm dilated. I remember feeling daunted by the journey that lay ahead. Fortunately, I was in good labour and didn't need the syntocinon drip.

The midwife recommended I mix things up, and I ended up sitting on a birth ball in the shower. This was a very intense period, but I really got into a groove working with my husband through each contraction. The water on my shower cap worked as white noise and my husband hoisted me up to stand for each contraction and then I would sit back down to rest in between. The gas didn’t so much help with the pain, but it made my mind go so blank that I wasn’t intellectualising what was happening. My eyes were closed the whole time; I was just in my body.

Sometime around 9am I started feeling a strong urge to push with each contraction and I insisted that the midwife check me. I think we were both shocked when she told me I was fully dilated and ready to push! Baby was still sitting high, so I had a lot of work to do. The midwife recommended that I lay on my back because I would have the most strength in this position. I was absolutely devastated to give up the gas to push!

With one leg on the midwife’s hip and the other on my husband’s, I beared down with each contraction. In between pushing I let my body go limp and relax, munching on ice cubes and sips of lemonade. My contractions started to barrel on top of one another and the pain was totally overwhelming. After an hour and a half of the most unrelenting and exhausting effort, I knew I was close when the midwives started setting up the cart for the baby’s arrival. It was hard to be excited because the pain of crowning was absolutely terrible, and I was screaming like a banshee.

My husband put on some gloves and helped the doctor deliver the head.  With one final push baby was born. Instantly there was relief from the pain and this new human being was lying on my chest. My baby was looking up at me calm as anything as if we’d always known each other. It might have been the rush of hormones, but I had a moment of transcendence; as if after 31 years I had finally joined the human race. Jack announced that we had a baby boy and we were totally in love.

I delivered the placenta and was hooked up to a syntocinon drip to stem my bleeding. My husband fed me roast lamb for lunch as I held my beautiful son Luke in my arms. I was so grateful that we were all alive and healthy. I felt like superwoman.

After the best shower of my life, I walked back to my room on the ward where it had all begun. My parents were waiting for me at the door, and I broke down in tears seeing my mum, with her knowing what I had just been through beaming with pride, relief and love.

What do you wish you knew before birth?

While I was pregnant I consumed lots of birth stories on the internet and from friends and family. I considered those stories to be either positive or negative experiences. 

On reflection, I wish I hadn’t expected my birth to fit into such binary categories of good or bad. While I am so grateful that everything went “well”, the pain of labour and birth was still excruciating!

If you could, would you do anything differently?

I would’ve preferred to not birth on my back as I ended up with a tailbone injury. That said, I don’t think I would have had the strength to push baby down in any other position or if I’d had an epidural. So ultimately no, I wouldn’t have done anything differently.

What did your partner do that really helped during labour/birth?

Jack put his footy/league safe skills to use, and was expert at relaying messages to the midwives, keeping me hydrated and making sure my head was in the game.

What advice/honest truth would give a mama-to-be about birth?

That there is a real-life human being inside you! Bringing new life into the world is the reward for your effort.