Shelby tells her birth stories in her own words…

My first pregnancy was pretty mellow to be honest.  The birth, not so mellow!   I didn’t quite know how to prepare.  I practiced and studied prenatal yoga all through pregnancy.  Wasn’t really sure what to expect, it all felt pretty overwhelming sorting through the information.  My husband and I went to the preparation classes at the birth centre.  I was feeling impatient by the due date, getting acupuncture and doing all the things to encourage her along.  

On Friday night at 40+6 weeks, I asked my midwife to do a stretch and sweep then watched some Brooklyn-nine-nine while bouncing on my ball.  Contractions kicked in by the time I went to bed.  They really threw me and I struggled to breathe through them.  My house was undergoing renovations so it wasn’t super comfortable being at home with the mess.  Thankfully, our bedroom and ensuite was complete. We had continuous hot water and I sat in the shower for a majority of time.  Trev would also squeeze my hips during lots of the contractions.  My midwife visited twice, once to check on me and another to deliver medication that helped me rest.  At some point I requested pancakes from my husband (bless him) and when he presented them to me the craving passed and opted for some miso and green smoothie which came back up a few minutes later while I was in the shower!  

We didn’t get to the hospital til 4pm.  I got right into the bath by 6pm. At some point after we decided to break my waters and my husband nearly passed out.  The midwife sent him to the tea room to rest and I sat in the shower for awhile.  She brought the gas which helped me breathe, the sound was nice to focus on.  Then had the urge to go back to the tub, from there I pushed for nearly 3 hours.  It felt like I was really forcing things to happen.  I was so determined to have her in the bath.  My midwife grew concerned and told me I had two more pushes and we will need to seek assistance.  That was the motivation I needed and when the midwife came back in I was crowning.  It was so exciting to reach down and feel her little head.  By 10:06pm her head was out and midwife assisted with shoulder dystocia.  I think this is where I tore and midwife later shared the knowledge you have a 3b tear and I joked at least it’s not a “c”!  At 10:08pm she was out and on my chest.  I was a bit shocked at it all and found it hard to bond with my daughter.  There was concern growing with the amount of blood in the bath (estimated 2.2 litres lost) and they gave me an injection for fourth stage of labour, then transferred me onto the bed.  Oh, the gravity was excruciating and a midwife I’d never met came in to do fundal massage, which really hurt.  Ollie was on my chest for the hour they were fussing over me and then I was wheeled to Theatre to have the rest of the placenta removed and stitches.  Ollie was left with my bewildered husband at the bloody scene and I was looking forward to being knocked out as I was so exhausted.  

By 5am I was reunited with my family, on Father’s Day.  We stayed in hospital a few nights and I had an iron infusion and blood transfusion during that time to get my energy back.  Thankfully, my breastfeeding journey was relatively easy for us and my daughter and I were able to strengthen our bond.  

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For the 2nd birth, my pregnancy was rather similar and I was in early labour from baby’s due date, which was so confusing.  My midwife reminded me “if you are in good labour you will know it” and that put me at ease.  By midnight at 40+7, contractions became really consistent and I notified my doula and midwife.  Got in the shower which helped me relax. Doula came to over to assist and my in laws came over to stay with my oldest daughter.  

We arrived to hospital by 3am.  I remember being so much more in touch with what I needed and feeling so supported.  I handled contractions so much better and really got into a deep meditative state, praying and singing to baby while I was resting in the warm bath. 

I think around 6am I was feeling the time pressure and wondering why labour wasn’t progressing at the pace I was hoping for.  And we decided to break the waters again as I thought it might help labour progress.  As she broke my waters, the midwife reckons she felt Bodhi spin to posterior.  The calm vibe was disappearing as they started to monitor Bodhi’s heart rate, the sun was rising, and my midwife’s shift was ending.  Around 10am another doctor arrived to transfer me to birth suites.  So much poking and prodding, more exams and during this time I became fully dilated with strong urges to push.  Finally given some gas and pain relief which felt GOOOOOOOD.  Bodhi had the fetal monitor on her head.  I was so tired and over it, hoping for a c section at this point. I hadn’t been able to feel her head or the pressure on my cervix.  After around 2 hours of them deciding whether emergency c section or assisted delivery, I was wheeled into theatre on my own while my husband got his scrubs on.  The doctors concluded Bodhi was too high for assisted delivery, thank goodness, as there was energetically no way could’ve gone through that. I remember thinking the anaesthetist was a dreamboat and so reassuring during the spinal block.

The room was well lit, playing Australian classic hits and I kept yabbering like a drunk person over and over, “don’t tell me the sex of the baby, I want to see for myself and we are taking the placenta home.”

I was so delighted to meet my 2nd daughter at 12:02pm while “FIGJAM” by Butterfingers was playing 😆 .  Immediately said “it’s Bodhi Blue” with a smirk to my husband that knew the name wasn’t up for negotiation after all that! I felt so at peace and in love with Bodhi girl resting on my chest and absolutely immersed in the golden hour with her. 💛

What do you wish you knew before birth?

To really learn to trust my body and the whole process of birth.  

If you could, would you do anything differently?

I went into the 2nd birth thinking I would focus on really anchoring into my breath, to soften with the contractions and meeting my baby.  We also decided not to find out the sex, sensing this baby wanted more secrecy. We also found a doula to support us, game changer.  I did lots of guided meditations that visualised meeting the baby.  And that made for the most beautiful golden hour.  Instantly fell in love. We set up a meal train with my friends and family, all loving food brought to my house really boosted my oxytocin. 

For the 3rd I will be doing rebirthing breathwork, which is a gentle style of breathwork that uses conscious connected breath and intention setting.  I’m really focusing on connecting to my baby, my body, and my highest self to guide this baby earth side. I just read in Jane Hardwicke Collins book “Ten Moons” she focused on the part of her body that was hurting the most during labour, as if she was going into the eye of the storm and entered a realm where she felt no pain and totally calm.  

I think I will do the same thing, go towards the sensations and feel what’s happening in my body, without trying to make sense of it all…just notice the sensations which is a lot of what we do in Rebirthing Breathwork Mastery.  I’m also not drinking any coffee this pregnancy which is a big change.  I plan to dance everyday too.  

What did your partner do that really helped during labour/birth?

Trev has such a calm and steady energy.  Just his presence makes me feel at ease.  I must say I loved when he applied counter pressure on my outer hips during contradtions.

What advice/honest truth would give a mama-to-be about birth?

Learn your best way to cope with high intensity.  Whether it’s breath, music, movement, drumming, massage, vision boards, affirmations, being vocal, or focusing on the pain.  Find the thing and practice it everyday so it just becomes second nature to get you through. Also focus on meeting the baby.  Sending my love and prayers for your journey. 💌