When Yasmin met Noa

Yasmin Johnson, one of the women behind Cbrmamas, shares with us the birth story of her first baby Noa.

At 38 weeks pregnant and only one week into maternity leave, Yasmin’s waters broke late at night in bed.

She describes her birth experience as “very chill”, watching the Australian Open while waiting for things to get serious.

Yasmin tells her birth story in her own words…

Let me start by saying I did not cope well with being pregnant, I describe myself as non-functional during that time. It wasn't the vomiting type of morning sickness BUT it was the constant nausea that had me bed-ridden and unable to make a connection with my baby throughout the pregnancy. But, I feel that once you read my birth story... there will be little to no sympathy for me!

So picture this….I’m 38 weeks pregnant and feeling like an absolute whale and yearning to be sleeping on my back again. My feet are swollen and I have long forgotten what downstairs used to look like. Because I swear it didn't look that swollen and puffy before, and if it did I have no idea how I convinced my partner to get me pregnant!

I was on my first week of mat leave and I had bought myself a little scrapbook to collate all my polaroids, I had a dentist appointment booked, acupuncture, coffee dates with friends etc etc. While I wanted this baby out, I was enjoying this freedom - which did not last long at all.

A Thursday night at 11pm I woke up feeling like I had peed the bed, instinctively I reached down over the mountain that was my belly to feel my underwear expecting them to be wet. But they weren't. I waddled over to the bathroom and as soon as I sat on that toilet seat, water started gushing out. It was like a water balloon had popped in my fanny. I nervously called out to Steve (a few times might I add) "ahh babe, I don't know for sure, but I think my waters have broke" I laugh writing this as I remember how Steve, still half asleep, got up looking for me in the bed asking where I was haha. I asked him to grab me another pair of underwear and he (still half asleep) reached into the cupboard and ran to me to check I was OK, only to give me a pair of leggings instead of underwear. I told him to chill out laughing at the state he was in. I had to sit on the toilet for a while as water balloons popped away into the toilet, but I had no contractions. So we called the hospital and made our way over, where they checked me out and confirmed that my waters had broken, but because I had no contractions they sent me home and said that if no contractions had started by 7pm to come back to the hospital because if I waited any longer I was at risk of infection for me and the baby. So back home we went.

Our families were obviously notified that my waters had broken and they came over all excited and spent most the day just hanging out at my house. This was lovely, don't get me wrong, but I just wanted to chill out and not have people literally waiting for me to be in pain. Waiting for nothing to happen made the day go very slowly because that's all that happened. Nothing. Finally, 7pm comes around and we pack our hospital bags into the car and make our way over to the hospital. The drive was a funny one because it was not how we pictured things going at all, I had only ever heard horror stories from friends and Steve's older sister's had not had easy births either. We were both excited, nervous and low key weirded out by the chillness knowing that by the end of the weekend we were going to be parents.

When we made it to the hospital we had to wait in the waiting area for a while as all the beds were taken up in the maternity ward - it was a busy night to have babies! This was fine with me because I didn't have any contractions. The other couple in the waiting area though, well I don't think it was as fine for them. While I lounged about on my phone watching the Aus Open, the poor lady next to us was going through some hard core contractions, she had it all going on. Heavy breathing, tight grip of her husband's hand, the strained pain as she endured each one. I couldn't help but watch wide eyed and terrified. That's what I'm going to be going through!? I found myself counting in between contractions, tightening my own grip around Steve's hand and tensing when she tensed. I felt god damn guilty when they finally came and grabbed us to go to our room, I even offered for them to go before us. I felt that woman's eyes burning on the back of us as we left her there in the room, knowing that I was in no pain.

We were in the room for a long while, all strapped up to the monitor with a nurse coming in every now and then with a passing comment that they were possibly going to send us home due to it being so full at the hospital, but we didn't see anyone for a couple of hours. Finally at 1am, we saw someone and just asked....are we going home? They laughed and said that we weren't leaving this hospital without a baby which induced a nervous laugh from us both. Keep in mind, I still had no contractions. Thus, we went to sleep. Steve on the tiny window bed without a blanket and a jacket for a pillow and me strapped up to machines.

The next morning came around and finally, the show began. At 7am I was induced with oxytocin and dear lord those contractions came on hard and fast. One moment I was bouncing happily on an exercise ball with low key cramps and then within an hour I was doubled over, heaving in pain. Leading up to this, I was convinced that I would want to be in the shower through it all because whenever I'm sick I sit in the shower wallowing in my pain whilst burning my sins away with searing hot water. This was not the case. At 10am, I turned to the midwife, mid contraction and asked, wide eyed and desperate - "what are my options?!" Now, I was, what I consider, so lucky with my midwife. The moment I said I wanted an epidural, she did not beat around the bush, she said to me "hun, you don't get a medal at the end of this, so matter how you want to bring that baby into the world we will do it.

Within the hour, I was facing Steve, our hands on each other's shoulders to keep me stable whilst they got me hooked up to the good shit and finally; relief. I lay down relieved by how quickly the epidural came to effect but exhausted from the contractions, so much so.. I had a nap hehe.

A few hours later, I woke, feeling cheery, rested and relaxed. Steve was at a loss at what to do just sitting around waiting for a baby and we just kept laughing awkwardly because these were not emotions that we were expecting to be feeling. The midwives (with an additional student midwife now) swapped over and they lingered about while we all watched and chatted about the Aus Open playing on the TV. Again, I stress it was all very chill.

It came to the time when they had to check how dilated I was. I was expecting to be in this for the long haul as everyone had always told me that the epidural usually prolongs the arrival of bub. The midwife advised me that she would check and not say how dilated I was until the student wife got her hands up my fanny and checked it out for herself. So, up goes the first hand feeling about checking things out, with me just chatting away as if I'm not getting fisted in front of a crowd. Then the student midwife has a go. She was more descriptive - "I feel her head, wow she has a lot of hair... annnd wow.. there's no cervix" I looked at the midwife for her to tell me what this meant, to which she said, "yep you're fully dilated, are you ready to be parents?"

So now comes the time for us to be parents, to be a mum, it was all too surreal. As I was prepared to start pushing, Steve came up next to me to hold my hand. We put on a playlist to play in the background and then we kinda just started pushing. It's so weird telling the story to others and I feel guilty with how easy it was. They would tell me to wait until I felt a bit of a tightening in my belly, that's when I would push, but I couldn't feel anything being pushed out, I just felt the strain of pushing. When waiting in between pushes they asked if Steve wanted to come and have a look - something he had always said he wouldn't do - but he did and I laughed at his face which caused Noa to pop out a little bit which gave an unforgettable expression on Steve’s face. He made his way back up to my side, his vision of my vagina completely changed to when he had been down there previously (haha).

I had only one push left. So, with a big deep breath, tight grip on Steve's hand, Justin Bieber playing in the background and an awesome hype team in my midwives, I pushed that last push and finally felt her little body slide out and heard the cry of our daughter.

She was immediately placed on me for skin to skin on me. It all happened so fast. We had a little girl, I had pushed a human out of my vagina and now we were parents. I was shaking, I cried and I was initially confused by my feelings. I don't think I had that moment of instant love with her that I had assumed would happen. I held her, in shock that she was in my body just moments before.

In time, even hours after, those feelings went away, but I wanted to highlight them to share if you felt that way or if you do when it happens...you're not the only one.

What do you wish you knew before birth?

How many bloody hands would be feeling about downstairs!

I had selected the box that said that students can be a part of it all and whilst my student midwife was amazing, there was one point during the day where there was six people in the room which made me feel very overwhelmed while going through hard core contractions.

If you could, would you do anything differently?

To be honest I would do nothing differently. I honestly feel I was so very lucky with my birth!

What did your partner do that really helped during labour/birth?

Steve was incredible, he got me washers when I needed washers, held my hand, made me laugh at the right times. He remained calm and that kept me calm - even though it was such a relaxed environment he still was my rock with fear of the new!

What advice/honest truth would give a mama-to-be about birth?

1. While you may hear, read and see everyones birth story, know that your story will be individual. I found that going in with an open mind helped me, with a mantra of what will be, will be.

2. Don't stress about what you look like downstairs - they've seen it all and you will get so normalised with the amount hands that have go up there.