When ashleigh met oliver & caleb
Mum of three boys, Ashleigh shares her difficult pregnancy journey as well as the birth of her twins Oliver and Caleb.
Not only did Ashleigh have the job of growing two babies at once, she also suffered from HG, dehydration, some internal bleeding, a gastric ulcer, COVID, Bells Palsy and ongoing monitoring of one of the twins due to a slow in his growth…all before even going into labour! Which, when it happened, didn’t initially go to plan.
Ashleigh tells her birth story in her own words…
It was a Sunday morning and I was feeling a little unwell for the second day in a row. My husband and I had just agreed to put a pause on the trying to fall pregnant shenanigans after I’d won a promotion at work so I could focus on that for a little while.
I was letting my besties know that I wouldn’t be up to hanging out later because I was feeling queasy when all of a sudden it hit me how familiar this feeling was and I quickly rushed to the bathroom to take a test.
Low and behold it was the brightest POSITIVE line I have ever seen, in fact it had stolen the dye from the control line. Here I was thinking how weird it was that my extra lockdown kilos had gone straight to my belly instead of my ass. I popped immediately despite only being 6-7 weeks and the nausea was INTENSE!
When we went in for our dating scan at 9 weeks, it was obvious as soon as the sonographer put the wand on my belly… there were TWO babies in there! Many swear words were said, tears, disbelief and the famous quote from my husband 'Please just check there isn’t anymore in there!'
The next few months were hard! I’d started a new job and wasn’t ready to announce my pregnancy to a team that I didn’t really know yet, so I was sneaking off to the bathroom for sneaky chunders multiple times a day hoping it wasn’t too obvious. Eventually I couldn’t hide it anymore, I was suffering from extreme dehydration and was diagnosed with hyperemesis gravidarum (extreme morning sickness – yes it’s what Princess Kate had) and was having to go to the hospital every few weeks for fluids. When I announced it to the team, they were so supportive and lovely, I really couldn’t have asked for a better work environment.
Things were going well (other than the constant throwing up) until 28 weeks, when I suffered some internal bleeding and I stabbing pain like nothing I’ve never felt before. I was admitted to hospital and treated for a gastric ulcer. A week later (29 weeks) I had another episode of the internal bleeding and was sent back to hospital, thankfully this time, just a change in medication and no admission required. But twin A had slowed down with his movements so up to maternity assessment we went. Everything was ok on the trace but I had to come back the next day for monitoring and an ultrasound to be safe. When I mentioned to the obstetrician that I was glad to be getting back to work she laughed and put me on early maternity leave. She said I needed to rest as my body was telling me to slow down.
The ultrasound and monitoring were fine and off we went to my birthday dinner with my family. The next day my husband tested positive for COVID, my son and I tested positive two days later, and each of my family members who had been at the dinner began to test positive over the next week. Thankfully, we were all ok. My son was sick for all of two hours, whilst the fatigue stayed with me a little longer than most. Although this could have been a mixture of COVID, ulcer, HG, dehydration and just pregnancy in general.
At 33 weeks, twin A’s growth had slowed down and there was a dramatic difference in their sizes, so I was sent to a specialist imaging place for further observation. This specialist recommended delivery at 36 weeks. However my obstetrician wanted to push for 37 weeks with monitoring every two days.
At 35 weeks, my SPD, ulcer and general pregnancy aches and pains were at an all time high so I went for a pregnancy massage (it was amazing). While I was eating lunch afterwards I noticed that my food tasted odd, like my tongue had been burnt. A few hours later my lips felt funny and my eye started watering. I thought I was having an allergic reaction to something. But when I looked in the mirror I was shocked to see half my face had drooped. My husband took me to emergency and after waiting around for many hours, we were discharged at 2.00am with a Bells Palsy diagnosis.
When I presented to maternity for monitoring a few days later, the obstetrician noticed my face and immediately called a neurologist who prescribed me anti-virals and a high dose of steroids. I had difficulty filling the steroid script as pharmacists were reluctant to give them to me because I was pregnant and due to have a caesarean with two weeks. Eventually a pharmacist called the obstetrician who explained it was safe and would advise the anaesthetist prior to my surgery. Unfortunately, I was advised later that this delay in taking the steroids may have significantly affected my recovery time.
Twin A’s growth was still being monitored and the Monday of 36 weeks I lost part of my mucas plug and was experiencing back pain. I explained to the obstetrician on shift that I felt labour was imminent but she assured me that I’d birthed before so I could do it again and ‘twins have a way of being ninjas’. I was pretty unhappy with this response as my obstetrician had agreed that I was to have a caesarean and avoid labour as my body was exhausted from the pregnancy and had been through enough.
By Tuesday night I was having contractions, so called the birth suite and was advised to come in. The obstetrician on shift agreed that I was in labour but needed to wait until daylight hours to preform the caesarean because they needed more staff for a twin delivery. I was given panadeine forte in hopes it would slow labour down and provide some relief and told to get some rest.
Morning came and the obstetrician from Monday was back on shift, my labour was starting to ramp up and contractions were getting longer and closer together. I wasn’t allowed to eat or drink and I was vomiting from the pain and exhaustion. The obstetrician refused to preform my caesarean and said she would be leaving my planned caesarean for Thursday (which was more than 24 hours away).
The midwives were shocked and agreed that it seemed like she was trying to push for a vaginal birth (which would have been fine had it been in my birth plan). By 10.30am I was in active labour with contractions back to back and my anxiety at an all time high. When the midwife put her foot down and demanded I be sent for the caesarean the doctor advised that the wardsman was outside to take me to the operating room. It was then a mad rush for everyone to ‘gown up’ and go!
The operating room was packed full of people, some I swear just to watch. The spinal seemed to take forever, probably from having to stay as still as possible while my body felt the need to push out a baby. I was laid out on the table like jesus on the cross, my blood pressure dropped and I was given something to help with that. Then my husband came into the room and off they went. It all went very quickly, twin A was pulled out and had a gurgly sort of scream, then a nurse counted to 60 and twin B was pulled out screaming as loud as ever.
The curtain was dropped and I got to briefly see twin B before they pulled it up again. The crying of two babies was surreal and it was then that it really hit home that we were going to be bringing home TWO babies. Eventually the babies were brought over to me all wrapped up with beanies on and given to my husband to cuddle. Then off they went to wait for me in recovery.
As soon as I got to recovery, the babies were unwrapped and placed onto my chest for skin to skin and their first breast feed. Caleb, twin B, went straight onto my boob while Oliver, twin A, couldn’t quite get the hang of it. Tandem feeding was very overwhelming and I was exhausted so I don’t remember much of the next few hours. I do remember feeling high as a kite, having not eaten in about 24 hours and being pumped full of pain killers. I remember trying to feed the babies and their skin looking textured and patterned and I was itchy and felt like bugs were crawling on me.
Unfortunately, Oliver had to spend a few hours in the Special Care Nursery due to low blood sugar and difficulties regulating his temperature and both boys were put on formula top ups to assist with their weight gain.
By day three we were ready to go home and introduce Charlie, our eldest, to his new little brothers. He was smitten and obsessed with helping make their bottles, change their nappies and patting them on the head ‘gently’.
The boys were born at 36+6 weeks with Oliver William (Twin A) weighing 2.5kg, and Caleb Maurice (Twin B) weighing 2.65kg.
What do you wish you knew before birth?
I was so anxious in the lead up to the birth with the constant monitoring that they were going to tell me something was wrong or my body would just shut down. I just wanted them in my arms so I knew they were ok. In hindsight, those first few weeks with premmie babies were really hard and I’m glad they stayed in utero for as long as they did because I can’t imagine how hard it must be having to be separated from your babies in NICU.
If you could, would you do anything differently?
I wish I had listened to my body sooner. I was trying to do it all, working hard, mothering, wife-ing, and carrying two babies! My body was constantly telling me to slow down and I kept trying to fight it. I think about what I would say to someone else in my situation often, and that is that you are working hard around the clock growing organs and fingers and stuff for your little being (or beings) so put your damn feet up and relax!
What did your partner do that really helped during labour/birth?
This sounds silly but he cleaned the house while I packed for the hospital. He just had a knack for doing things without asking to help relieve my mental load.
When I was in active labour, he advocated for me and tried his best to keep me calm (without telling me to ‘calm down’).
What advice/honest truth would give a mama-to-be about birth?
I think it’s best to have an idea of what you want but not be too stuck to it. For my first, I didn’t go in with a birth plan, I just knew I wanted an epidural as soon as possible and anything that me or my baby needed I was cool with. This birth I had more of a plan because I knew what I didn’t want. I didn’t want to risk delivering one twin vaginally and then needing a caesarean for the second twin, and I didn’t want to put my already exhausted body through labour. All I could think about during my labour was how this wasn’t my plan, which was distracting from what was actually happening.