When jade met oaklee & ayla

TW: this story and its images involves loss

Jade shares the birth stories her two daughters, Oaklee who is almost 2 and Ayla who she lost in December 2021 at 13 weeks due to very rare condition that affects only 0.3 in 100,000 babies.

Both of Jade’s births were difficult in their own ways and we thank her for her bravery and candor, especially for sharing the story of her loss.

Jade tells her birth storIes in her own words…

Oaklee

I had a stretch and sweep done at 39 weeks where I was told I was already 3 cms dilated. That night I lost my mucus plug and had some light cramping, however the next day that was gone and it wasn’t until over a week later (at 40+2) that I started having contractions.

They started the Sunday morning, but weren’t in any pattern or consistency up until 7:30pm that night they then came on fast and within half an hour were only 3 minutes apart. 

We headed up to the hospital around 10pm where they told me I was already 5 cms dilated. 

What we didn’t know at the time was Oaklee’s spine was on my spine so my labour was excruciating. They were short staffed and I waited almost 5 hours for the epidural to arrive while having contractions only 30 seconds apart.

Once the epidural arrived I was able to get some rest before I started pushing. I pushed for 4 hours before someone realised something wasn’t right. 

After many checks and then an ultrasound we found out Oaklee had actually been face up the entire time and her head was titled right back stuck in my pelvis.

After an 18 hour labour I was taken to theatre and Oaklee was born via c-section.  She was a big healthy 9 pound baby which was surprising for us as all the ultrasounds I had she was measuring small.  

Our baby was perfect and healthy but I was feeling so defeated to of had her birth end in a c section. 

Ayla

Unfortunately this is a sad story that doesn’t end in a baby coming home. However it’s a very important story and one that should be shared. 

My first daughter was a very normal straight forward pregnancy and a perfectly healthy baby so when I fell pregnant when she was only 11 months old I assumed this pregnancy would be the same.

Everything was normal and straight forward up until my 12 week scan where we found out Ayla had a very rare condition that affects only 0.3 in 100,000 babies. Unfortunately this condition has a 0% survival rate outside of the womb. 

We were devastated and confused why this happened to us. However there was no reason, we didn’t do anything wrong - it just happened. 

I was booked in a week later to be induced and give birth to her. 

We went into hospital and they gave me medication to induce labour and after 7 hours of labour Ayla was born. 

She was beautiful and perfect and looked just like Oaklee. We were able to spend 2 days with her in hospital and they arranged photos, hand and foot prints, an outfit for her, and so many keepsakes for us.

Everybody was so caring and kind and nothing was too hard. They relaxed COVID restrictions so our family could be there and even our daughter Oaklee was able to come up and meet her sister. 

It was an incredibly hard and sad experience but the care we received helped to make things that little bit easier. 

---

What do you wish you knew before birth?

For my first birth, I wish I had better resources and education on what can go wrong or what to expect in certain situations. I had Oaklee in 2020 so all the COVID rules were very strict and the maternity care was not so much face-to-face. 

I wish I was better educated on the whole birth experience. 

For Ayla’s birth - I was very lucky with this experience that I knew before hand exactly what was going to happen and how it would proceed which made the whole thing that little bit smoother.

If you could, would you do anything differently?

For Oaklee’s birth I would take out the idea of a birth plan. I felt very down and defeated for a long time after her birth as it didn’t go anywhere near as expected. I’m so much more educated now and I believe it would of made the post partum period much easier for me. 

Thankfully I have no regrets at all with Ayla’s birth. We had lots of photos done and got to spend time with our daughter. Everything we wanted we were given and I’m so thankful for that. 

What did your partner do that really helped during labour/birth?

My husband was amazing during Oaklee’s birth, he helped in any way he could which really for the partners is not a whole lot. He was incredibly supportive and caring and I couldn’t of done it without him. 

He was also a great support during Ayla’s birth, again there wasn’t much he could do but making sure I was comfortable and getting me food and water and just being there is the biggest thing for me. 

What advice/honest truth would give a mama-to-be about birth?

For any other women going through the same birthing experience I did with Ayla, I would really recommend finding a hospital and care team you’re comfortable with and feel supported by. It really makes the whole thing that little bit easier when you have a great team caring for you. 

To go in with no expectations. Our babies decide when and how they will be born and taking out the plans and expectations makes it a much easier and enjoyable experience. The whole birth experience is amazing, although painful and hard and exhausting it truely is so amazing and us women are the lucky ones for getting to experience it.