When clare met maisie
My pregnancy with Maisie had been a hard one. I’d had HG (for the second time) until 16 weeks and then developed debilitating pelvic pain around week 20.
By the end I was exhausted and so so done. Unfortunately for me, unlike her brother who arrived at 39 weeks, Maisie kept us waiting until 40+5 weeks to meet her. It was the longest 12 days of my life! I’d been having prodromal contractions for 3 weeks beforehand, and I was getting tired of all the false starts. After a long two days in early labour, the hospital gave me some medication so I could finally get a good sleep. When I woke up that morning, I was still having contractions but when I got into the shower they ramped up significantly. We arrived at the hospital at 10am and I decided to get into the bath straight away. I’m a student midwife so when I was in transition, despite the fact I kept telling my husband I couldn’t do it anymore, there was a small voice in my head that knew I was near the end. Suddenly I had the urge to push and while it hurt like crazy, it felt good too because now I had something to do. Everything was going smoothly until the midwife asked me to put my leg up on the step in the bath.
Last year my first vaginal birth as a student was a shoulder dystocia. As soon as they asked me to change position like that, the small voice in my head said “oh shit!”
When that didn’t work, they got me out of the bath and onto the bed. That was the strangest feeling, walking with her head between my legs. I was then aware that there were lots of people in the room, and an obstetrician came to help. He used his hands to manoeuvre the baby out. I screamed in pain, but the small voice also kept me incredibly calm. It sounds odd but despite everything I knew exactly what was happening and I’ve never felt more calm and peace. I knew that everyone in the room was there to help us, and I trusted them completely.
When they pulled Maisie out, she was very purple and floppy. The student midwife in me knew that wasn’t quite right, so when they took her over to the resuscitaire I was relieved. We heard her cry and someone came and told me that she was ok. She went to special care nursery for an hour just to monitor her breathing.
Despite all the craziness I only had a first degree tear! I had a student midwife with me and it was her first shoulder dystocia, so after the birth my midwife, student and I all had a quick debrief on it all.
Maisie came back from special care and I finally got to hold her. We had our first breastfeed and she latched straight away. I’d had so much difficulty initially with breastfeeding her brother, so it was so exciting when she latched on. We are really lucky, despite her dramatic entry, Maisie has been a very easy baby. My parents brought our 3 year old son Charlie to meet her, and suddenly we were a family of 4!
What do you wish you knew before birth?
Honestly it’s not so much what I wish I’d known as what I was glad to know. I am incredibly lucky to have witnessed so many amazing births last year, and seeing a shoulder dystocia was my very first vaginal birth. When everything started happening, I knew exactly what was going on and why. In a way I think this has protected me from feeling any trauma from Maisie’s birth, because rather than be panicked that people were doing things to my body, I immediately accepted it as what had to be done to keep us safe. In the moment, there wasn’t enough time for anyone to explain to my husband and I what was happening fully, so having had that experience last year made so much difference.
If you could, would you do anything differently?
I don’t think there was anything I could have done differently. My labour had gone pretty smoothly up until her shoulders got stuck, and was relatively quick.
What did your partner do that really helped during labour/birth?
My husband Josh was amazing during the whole thing. He never left my side even though it can’t have been comfortable crouched next to the bath. He made me have sips of juice for energy and held me when I cried. When I was in transition and telling him I couldn’t do it and just wanted to go to sleep, he encouraged me and told me I was nearly done. He had to take off his wedding ring because I kept squeezing his hand so hard that I bent it!
He is my study buddy for my degree, and also who I cry to after a scary birth. He told me afterwards that once they knew it was a shoulder dystocia, he understood a bit of what was happening, based on what I had explained last year. Once she was out though and very purple and floppy was when he started getting scared. He stayed with her in special care for ages and came back maybe 15 mins before she did. He told me all about her, who she looked like and how she was doing.
What advice/honest truth would give a mama-to-be about birth?
Birth is hard no matter which way the baby comes out. My first, I was induced and had an epidural, so I’d never felt proper labour contractions before. But I had to have an episiotomy and vacuum because his heart rate kept dropping. This time I definitely felt the pain, but it was over much faster and I had a much easier recovery. I’ve been with women through c sections and instrumental births and “normal” vaginal births. I’ve also cried tears of joy at every one. Women’s bodies are incredible, we can grow entire humans! No matter which way your baby comes out, you are a badass!