CW: This birth story involves pregnancy loss.

OK, this isn't just my birth story, this is my whole journey so buckle up and get some popcorn! My birth story's were all different with all 3 kids, the leading up to getting these beautiful children of mine was the hardest part of my stories. I was diagnosed with PCOS and can not ovulate by myself, however I did not know this until by chance me and my now husband fell pregnant in 2018 and didn't even know it. One day I was really sick and had a virus, I couldn't keep anything down at all so I went to the hospital because I was servearly dehydrated. The nurse took bloods and came back with a virus and a pregnancy hormone, however I had been bleeding so I did not believe that it was true. She told me I was around 6 weeks and ordered an ultrasound. I had been bleeding and turns out I had a hemmorage on my uterus that was apparently so small and would go away on its own... I had my check ups, I had my ultrasounds and everything was fine.

Another 6 weeks went by and we had passed the first trimester, the next week I had a miscarriage and had to have a D&C it was the worst thing me and my husband had ever been through. When there was no heart beat my stomach felt like it had fallen, it was hell. When I woke up from surgery the Dr had told me to go to a specialist if I ever thought about having children as my ovaries were covered in cysts, so that's just what I did! I saw a fertility specialist and was referred to IVF Australia to undergo cycle tracking.

So we did it once, negative, we did it a second time, negative, I thought to my self one more time we should try then let my body take a break, third time we fell pregnant with our first daughter Manuela! Her birth was crazy, my contractions had started on a Saturday afternoon and I gave birth to her at 3am on the Wednesday morning, the cord was wrapped around her neck, they prepped me for a c-section with an epidural however she came out with forceps. It was scary and I was very tired but it was worth it holding that beautiful little girl in my arms.

A year later we decided to try for another baby, and had to do cycle tracking yet again, well this time the first cycle worked and we fell pregnant with Kisione our son. His birth was incredible I had my first contraction at 6am in the morning and he came into the world at 4pm that day, everything happened very fast and and all natural birth which was an amazing experience. My waters did not break at all and Kisione was born in the sac, he came out and the nurse opened the sac and he came out like a waterfall it was the most incredible thing I've ever seen in my life and we didn't even get a picture! What's even more incredible is that it's extremely rare and I was born like that as well!

Now the story gets hard... even writing about this is hard for me but there's a point to this story I swear... My husband and I always wanted 3 and I thought if we just do it one after another life would be easier when they're older so we did it, we did another cycle a year later. First cycle worked, however I had a miscarriage very early on. So we tried again, second cycle no eggs were formed, third cycle a negative pregnancy result and then the fourth cycle, the fourth cycle was hard, I fell pregnant and it was joy all around however I went to my first ultrasound and the baby wasn't there, the baby was growing but wasn't growing in my uterus. So we thought it was an ectopic pregnancy and the Drs were trying to find the baby in my phellopian tubes and baby wasn't growing there... I had 3 D&C's and after each one my pregnancy hormone was still in every blood test and was still growing somewhere. None of the Drs or nurses could find the baby as it was very small, this was now 6 weeks and the baby was still growing.

The Dr called me in and explained to me that this was actually called a "pregnancy of unknown location" and that the only thing to do is kill the pregnancy cell with a methotrexate shot. Methotrexate is a medicine that kills cancer cells when people have cancer and undergo chemo therapy, so they used that treatment to kill off the pregnancy cell. They booked me in and I had an appointment at the cancer clinic at Calvary hospital. My husband wanted to stay home from work that day and I said that I could do it all by my self and that I was fine. Putting on that strong act, so his cousin Anne picked me and the kids up took me to the hospital and dropped me off. When I said by to my kids and explained to them that I will be back soon and everything is OK, I held back the tears as I walked away and as soon they drove off I balled my eyes out. I could not believe how extreme this was, the fact that I didn't just lose the baby I had to kill it off basically. It was gut wrenching I remember the feeling and what I had to go through and it makes me cry to this day. I walked up the stairs of Calvary, they put me in a gown prepped me and and gave me 2 methotrexate shots in each cheek of my backside. I felt OK I was emotional but OK, I had to stay at the hospital for a while because the side effects were heavy on my body. After half an hour I started to feel very nauseas and dizzy another half an hour went past and it was time for me to leave. Anne and the kids came and got me I hugged them all so tightly. We went home to my bed and I layed in bed sick and bleeding all day. I called my husband and said "I am sorry but please come home, the kids are fine they're with Anne downstairs but I need you to hold me" so he did, he came home and layed with me and we just held each other until I fell asleep. It was hell, I was so depressed for so long, but we both still wanted that 3rd child! This all happened in February 2022 and I had to wait at least 3 months for the methotrexate to leave my body completely so it could be safe for me to fall pregnant again.

June came around and we decided to try again, did some cycles and nothing was happening so I decided to finally take a break and just give my body a rest that it deserved!October came around and I really wanted to try again, low and behold on the 2nd go that month we fell pregnant and everything was happy and healthy! Fast forward to August 2023, 9 months pregnant and waiting for this child that was due on the 13th came 12 days later on the 24th! This birth was so different everything about it was different, the contractions were different they were way more intense, I always thought that I could handle my contractions well but this 3rd child was no joke. From that first contraction the pain was like being electrocuted in the abdomen! It was 1.30am and my husband and kids were sleeping. I should mention that my husband had just back from Cooma that day from working night shift as he works at Snowy Hydro so I told him to sleep and rest as I would need him at the hospital. (He's not that lazy ladies) haha he is actually my biggest and best support through all of this, although I did have to wake him up at about 3am when my son had woken up and wanted to me to carry him as I was having the worst contractions of my life, I held him for less then 2 minutes and woke my husband up to grab him as I was not coping! At about 4am I called my parents and we said we're dropping the kids off its finally happening. We dropped them off and headed to Canberra hospital, to be completely honest I was sad this time I was sad that I had to leave my kids as they are basically with me and only me all the time. They were my 2 little besties and I was so sad but excited at the same time! We got to the hospital they checked me I was about 5 cm. From then on they monitored me until I reached 7 cms and they took me to the birthing suite. The contractions were becoming intense like I said before they were nothing like what I had experienced in the past. The nurse offered me the epidural and immediately I said yes, my exact words were " I've had a birth with no epidural and it was great and an amazing experience, but I don't need to experience it again" and the nurse and I had a little laugh and they gave me the epidural. I kind of regretted that decision as it slowed everything down, and made me so nauseas. Baby was not all the way down yet and I wasn't dilating as fast as I was before the epidural. I started to feel nauseas my waters hadn't broken yet either and the nurses said the baby might be born in the waters again! I told my husband to get the camera ready this time... but one of the nurses said sorry we have to break your waters and get things going because we have to think about the baby and molding. Baby was already overcooked and needed to come out. So they broke my waters, I threw up from the nausea and right after that I said "OK I am ready to push!" I gave 2 big pushes and out came my beautiful baby girl Isabela. The joy that was felt was different to the other 2, the journey on getting our 3rd baby, our 2nd beautiful baby girl was horrendous but again, all worth it when they placed her on my chest.

Earlier I mentioned there was a point to this long story about my whole journey, and the point is don't give up. Through the losses and the heart break if you don't try you won't achieve that goal of having a baby or even another baby. I know for some women it is harder then others but just remember that the losses, heartbreak and birth remind us of how strong and powerful we as women really are. No matter what your story is, us women are all Queens!

What do you wish you knew before birth?

Nothing really, I didn't think too much about it I just did what I had to do

If you could, would you do anything differently?

Nothing every one of My birth experiences were unique and amazing in their own way  

What did your partner do that really helped during labour/birth?

Pushing down on my lower back each time I had a contraction! Relieved so much pressure in that area.

What advice/honest truth would give a mama-to-be about birth?

That it hurts, everything about it hurts. If someone tells you it's like really really bad cramps they're lying.. but it is all worth it in the end!