When elly met oliver
I found out I was pregnant on Boxing Day of 2022 - the same day my husband and I were flying out to America for a month-long trip around the US.
My pregnancy went reasonably smoothly - I was extremely nauseous until about 16 weeks, had a bad UTI around the 20 week mark, and had a really sore lower back in my third trimester, but apart from that things were OK. I tried to remain reasonably active and once I couldn’t workout any more I signed up to a six-week prenatal yoga class/birth preparation class with one of my best friends which I really enjoyed.
We decided to birth at North Canberra Hospital (back then it was still Calvary) and were lucky enough to see the same midwife throughout my pregnancy. We also had an incredible student midwife that attended every appointment with us and that I was in regular contact with. By the end of the pregnancy we got along with her so well and were super excited to be going through birth with her by our side.
At my 34 week midwife appointment, our midwife picked up on the fact that my fundal height measurements hadn’t changed in almost 6 weeks, so we were sent for a growth scan the next day. The 24 hours in between the midwife appointment and the growth scan were some of the most stressful of the entire pregnancy! Luckily everything showed up OK on the scan and the lady doing it was so kind and reassuring.
At around 36 weeks pregnant I started eating dates, drinking red raspberry leaf tea, and expressing colostrum. We were in the middle of house renovations (half our house was literally a construction site) so doing those things made me feel like I had a bit of control. I look back really fondly on those weeks!
The renovations got finished about a week before my due date. I spent the day before my due date preparing some meals/snacks for the freezer, hanging out with my dog Poppy and taking her for a walk, and then going to my prenatal yoga class that night. When I got to yoga I asked the teacher about some stretches that would help with back and leg pain, because they’d started to get really sore that day.
Little did I know that leg and back pain was probably my first sign of labour, because at 3am the next morning (my due date!) I woke up with really bad pain in my abdomen. I thought my bladder must have been really full so went to the toilet and the pain went away. I went straight back to sleep and then woke up 10 minutes later with the pain again. It kept coming every ten minutes or so and after about half an hour I finally clicked that I was in labour!
I was so excited I couldn’t get back to sleep, so I started timing the contractions and tried not to wake my husband up. My hips were also really sore so I was getting up and down out of bed to try and stretch them out. A few times he stirred and asked if I was OKz to which I replied “yep! My hips are just aching!”. I wanted him to get as much sleep as possible in case this was the real thing.
At 5am I went to the toilet and had my bloody show so then I really knew things were happening.
Every morning from about 37 weeks pregnant my husband would wake up and say to me “are you in labour?”, and when he woke up at 6.30am that morning I could finally reply “I think I am!”.
He literally leaped up out of bed and started pacing around the house like a mad man. He was so flustered and I was just laying in bed playing on my phone. I actually felt strangely relaxed, which surprised us both.
He called the hospital who advised to stay at home as long as possible, and that as my contractions were still pretty far apart (they were about 6-7 minutes apart at this point) it was probably going to be a while until we could come in.
We spent that day watching The Kardashians and a documentary about hippos on Disney+. I used the TENS machine and the breathing I was taught in my yoga class. The contractions kept getting closer together, and at around 5pm they were getting pretty intolerable. I was tired and emotional so we called the hospital who advised to come in for a check and to create a plan of attack.
After waiting a while when we arrived at the hospital for a room to become available (it was a full moon and they had already had five births that afternoon), we got a room and the midwife checked me. At that point it had been 18 hours since the first contraction and I was only 1cm dilated… when she told me I was so disheartened. They gave me a sleeping tablet and some Panadol (lol) and sent me home at around 10.30pm.
The sleeping tablet knocked me out and after a quick nugget meal from Hungry Jacks I dozed from 11pm until 2am. When I woke up, the contractions were coming thick and fast. They were about 2-3 minutes apart so my husband called the hospital who said we could come in whenever I felt ready. I wanted to stay at home and with my dog as long as possible so managed to stick around until about 4am before going in.
It was a freezing cold night, my husband grabbed our puffer jackets and the trip to the hospital felt really strange. We didn’t see a single other car on the road and everything just seemed really still. When we got there I had asked for a room with a bath, which they gave me, but I took one look at the bath and decided I didn’t want anything to do with it. I hopped in the shower instead and the beautiful midwife turned all the lights off and brought in some candles. I stayed in there for two hours which I found really soothing.
We were also lucky enough to have the midwife we’d seen throughout pregnancy rostered on so it was really nice to have a familiar face around. Once I hopped out of the shower I was exhausted. It had been 28 hours of labour, and I was still only 3cm dilated. I could barely stand up any more so I spoke with my husband and the midwife and decided to get the epidural. I had gone into birth with the attitude that I would try to go without pain relief, but I wasn’t against getting it if I needed it - and at this point I knew I needed it.
My midwife set up a cannula in my hand and took some bloods and started a bag of IV fluids. Every contraction my husband would say “not long now and you’ll have the epidural” - he was lying as it was a 2.5 hour wait from when I asked for it to when I got it!!
Finally the anaesthetist arrived and did the epidural for me and I just felt like a whole new person. About five minutes after the epidural kicked in I felt a gush of water and said to my midwife “I think I just peed!”. She was sceptical because I’d been to the toilet just prior so took a look and sure enough my waters had broken! I knew something wasn’t quite right though, because she called another midwife into the room straight away and they were both looking at the sheets of the bed pretty closely. It turns out that there was meconium in the waters, which can mean baby is in distress.
Because of this, a doctor came in and did an ultrasound and some tests on baby - who, after being in the perfect position since about 34 weeks, had flipped posterior. The midwife gave me a peanut ball to try and encourage baby into the right position and the doctor recommended oxytocin as the contractions had slowed down and spaced out significantly. We were given about an hour to decide what we wanted to do, but in the end decided to accept the oxytocin.
Unfortunately not too long after starting the oxytocin the monitors showed that baby was in quite a bit more distress - which he already was before - so it was a bit of a worry. They had to dial the amount they were giving right back, and another doctor came in to monitor us both for a while.
At this point I also started to feel the contractions again and they were ramping up - so I called the midwife in to check what was going on. They said nothing was wrong with the epidural but I was adamant I was starting to feel things again, so they brought forward my next check.
As soon as she checked me she said “oh!”. I was like what?! And she said “you’re 10cm dilated… I’m touching your baby’s head and you’re ready to push”.
I instantly burst into tears because it was just so unexpected. Only 90 minutes prior I had been 4cm dilated so it was a bit of a shock as I didn’t think I’d be pushing until much later that day!
The midwives started clearing space in the room and adjusting the bed. I told my husband to call our student midwife, as she had left the hospital because we didn’t expect things to progress so quickly! We told the midwives we’d like to try and wait until she got there, and luckily she was only about 10 minutes away so made it in time for us to start pushing.
I started pushing sitting up but it felt weird to me, like I was sitting on the baby. So they changed the bed position and I tried laying back which felt more natural. My husband was holding one of my legs and a paramedic who was there to get more experience in births was holding the other.
Unfortunately once again baby was in distress and his heart rate was really dipping and then struggling to recover between contractions. The doctor came into the room once again and was watching the monitors like a hawk. He also told me I needed to be pushing more effectively in order to get baby out a bit quicker, so encouraged me to put my hand down and feel baby’s head while I pushed.
This worked so well and suddenly I was able to push so much better as I could feel his head moving down! I kept my hand there the whole time and remember being surprised at how squishy his head felt.
After pushing for a while the midwife told me to stop because they could see what they call a buttonhole a tear appearing. I had put in my birth plan that I’d like to try and avoid an episiotomy, but they let me know why they thought it would be preferential to have one in this scenario and I agreed (the alternative sounded scary).
I held off pushing for a few contractions while we waited for a doctor to come and perform the episiotomy, and when it was done I all of a sudden felt extremely nauseous. I quickly told my husband I was going to throw up and luckily he knew where the spew bags were because he caught it… the first time. Unfortunately there was more where that came from and the second spew went everywhere… all over me, through my hair, all over him and on the bed.
There was no time to worry though because within two pushes our little baby Oliver Henry arrived and was put up onto my tummy. Our student midwife caught him, and I just remember looking at my husband and sobbing, and he was yelling “he’s here!!!”. I actually forgot to look at Ollie for a really long time because I was just in disbelief and staring at my husband.
The midwives asked us what we were going to name him and when we told them, they all sung happy birthday to him which was so sweet.
We were lucky enough to get two hours of skin to skin and his first breastfeed while I was getting stitched up. I ended up getting two tears (one internal) and the episiotomy, as well as a postpartum hemmorhage so it was quite the task getting it all repaired.
Once it was done and the epidural removed, the midwife said to me “so, did you pack shampoo? Because if not I need to find you some!”. It was so funny. She helped me into the bathroom where I had the best shower of my life and I washed my hair while Ollie and his dad had skin to skin.
We both had dinner and then were moved to the postnatal ward where we stayed for two nights. The care and support we got from all the midwives both during and after labour was incredible, I’ll actually never forget how supported and cared for I felt during that time!
What do you wish you knew before birth?
I just wish I had known everything would be ok! I had a lot of apprehension not knowing how the birth was going to go and how it was going to happen.
I also wish I had known a bit more about breastfeeding and who to turn to if things were difficult - we ended up having such a tough breastfeeding journey in the beginning and I felt like such a failure. Ultimately with the right support we are still exclusively breastfeeding which is something that for a long time I didn’t think we’d be able to achieve!
If you could, would you do anything differently?
Honestly no! Im so happy with how the birth went. I went in with the attitude to just go with the flow which is exactly what we did.
What did your partner do that really helped during labour/birth?
He was the most amazing support I could have asked for! I can get quite shy and anxious around new people, so he asked all the questions and made sure I was comfortable with who was in the room.
What advice/honest truth would give a mama-to-be about birth?
Contractions are truly the most painful thing I’ve ever experienced, but it is so so worth it! I was terrified to push but that part came easily compared to contractions!