When jess met reign, indie & gigi
All three of Jess’ births were special in their own ways and as with most births - none were the same! Between the three she experienced preeclampsia, different pain management, a cesarean and vaginal births and all going into labour at different stages of her third trimester. But, one thing was the same - her strength through it all and her love for each baby.
Jess tells her birth stories in her own words…
Birth #1 - Reign
Our first babe came as a complete surprise!
We had been busy planning our dream wedding. Everything was booked for 8 October and my dress was even sitting in my MIL’s wardrobe. It was April and I had been feeling off for a few days so thought I should do a test (after having endometriosis as a teenager, my periods had never been super regular). I put the test on my dresser, and after putting a load of washing on, came back to check it. Looking back at me were two very evident red lines. Holy shit, I’m pregnant!
I put the test in my pocket and jumped in the car. I felt like I was in a kind of hypnosis as when I got to Daniel’s (now husband’s) work, I couldn’t even remember the drive there. I called him when I was out the front and told him to come out, where I just threw the test in his lap and burst into tears. Poor thing didn’t know what to do or say, and then had to go back into his office, and act like nothing had happened!
It took us a while to process that there was a life growing inside me, along with the fact we wouldn’t be having the wedding we had been planning and imagining for so long. The shock soon turned to excitement and we decided we would still get married before bub came – just an intimate ceremony with our immediate family and best friends!
I was quite sick in the first trimester (daily voms) but nothing too crazy, and it settled at 13 weeks.
At 34 weeks, after continuously increasing blood pressure readings, my OB asked me to have bloods taken and to come in daily for BP checks.
At 35 weeks, I was put on medication to try and bring the BP down, but it didn’t seem to be making any difference.
At 36+3, after a daily BP check, my OB came in and told me that I had preeclampsia, and that he wanted me to stop working, right there and then. (I had planned to work until 38 weeks!) He casually told me to come into the birth suite on Saturday morning, where he would check if bub was still happy, and then I would either have an induction or caesarean. It was Tuesday! I was in shock and went straight home as instructed. It took a few hours for what I had just been told to sink in, but once it did, I cried for over an hour. The vaginal birth I had always imagined was seeming to become further from my reach!
Saturday 12 November 9am - we were in the birth suite, CTG on, BP monitor on and bloods taken. Not long after this, my OB came in and said that bub wasn’t happy and my kidneys were starting to shut down. It was going to be safest to have a caesarean and that we would head into theatre at 2pm.
Fast forward 4.5 hours and our beautiful baby boy, Reign, was born through the sunroof at 2.22pm. 3.12kg and 49cm of absolute perfection!
Birth #2 - Indie
16 months later, we felt we were ready to add to our family and were so lucky that it happened straight away!
This time around we were keen to find out what we were having, as Reign was a surprise. We got the phone call from our GP that we were having a little girl and we couldn’t have been more excited. A little sister for Reign to always protect and love on!
My pregnancy was pretty brutal – sick from the minute I found out up until about 16 weeks. Having a toddler to run around after made it harder. I remember in the early days, taking Reign into our bed after his brekky and putting the wiggles on for an hour or two, just so I could try and sleep some of it off!
Second time around, I was also pretty anxious at all of my OB appointments, as I knew high BP could lead to another caesarean and I was determined to try for a VBAC. Thankfully that never eventuated but I was told that if I didn’t go into spontaneous labour by 41+5, a caesarean would be on the cards (they wouldn’t induce due to the risk of my scar rupturing). Great! I was on the clock!
I went in for a stretch and sweep at 40+6 and was 2.5cm dilated.
Around 3am the next morning, I started to feel cramps and was excited that it could be happening. Reign had kicked Daniel out of bed, so I just laid next to his little body, trying to get comfortable.
By 6am, the surges were coming pretty regularly and I woke Daniel. I didn’t want Reign to see me so I quickly gave him a kiss and jumped in the shower while Daniel waited with him. Not long after, my MIL came and picked him up.
Daniel called the hospital and they said, with my history of preeclampsia, it was safest for me to come into the hospital. We were halfway to the hospital when Daniel realised he had left the hospital paperwork at home. I couldn’t imagine going into the hospital without him so I (not so kindly) told him to turn around and head home to grab it. By this stage, the surges were coming every 5 minutes, and every bump on the road was felt! I remember closing my eyes and imagining my surges were waves – reaching peaks and then drifting away. It was the only thing to get me through that awful bloody car ride!
When we got to the hospital at 8:30am, we were told it was a full house in the birthing suite and were taken into an examination room, until a suite freed up (imagine a room smaller than a GP’s office). Upon doing a VE, my midwife told me I was 5cm dilated, which was exciting! I knew beforehand that I was open to having an epi and asked for one straight away. I ended up having gas while I waited for the anaesthetist, but it just made me vomit, and I swore never again! My Mum had arrived by that stage and straight away started taking photos. (Looking back on these later, she had even taken one of my catheter in lol).
The epidural was in by 10:30am, and it was so peaceful in the room. We had tunes playing and I was so relaxed, I even put some makeup on. (Ridiculous I know!)
As I was laying there, I felt a pop and a big gush of water. I had never experienced this with Reign so it was all so exciting! I was fully dilated at that point, but our midwife (Mel – she was a real life angel!) suggested we wait 30minutes for bub to move down further.
At 12.30pm, I still had enough feeling that I could feel lots of pressure downstairs; like I needed to poo! It was go time! I pushed for 25 minutes and then reached down and pulled my little dolly out and up onto my chest. At 1:01pm Indie was earthside! She let out the most beautiful cry and was a mini-me of Reign. Later she was weighed and measured at 3.68kg and 48cm.
I had a small tear and had a few stitches, but recovery was fine!
Birth #3 - GiGi
Another 14 months down the track, in the midst of the pandemic, I again had that same ‘off’ feeling I had felt in the early days with both Reign and Indie. As I was still breastfeeding Indie, I thought “surely not” but grabbed a test when at woolies one day. Sure enough – two evident red lines looking back at me again!
My pregnancy was brutal again – this time needing medication as I was vomiting all day every day, until about 20 weeks.
We were originally given an EDD of 24th December, but later into the pregnancy, it changed to the 21st.
At 39+3 I requested a stretch and sweep and was 3cm dilated. I wanted so badly to go into labour before my EDD, so we could all be home as a family for Christmas! My OB said my waters were bulging and would be very surprised if I lasted a few days.
For 4 nights, I had false contractions! They would start around 11pm and then I would fall asleep. Only to wake up the next morning still pregnant!
Sure enough on the 5th night, at 11pm the surges started again. Just like clockwork! This time it felt different though. They were coming every 10 minutes and it was after that, I decided to wake Daniel and Mum (who had travelled again to be there for the birth).
We got up to the hospital around 1am, to find out I was still only 3cm dilated. My heart sank! The midwife put the CTG on and the contractions had really spaced out. Around 2:30am, she gave me some Panadol forte and sent Daniel and I down to the maternity ward to try and get some sleep (there was no way anyone was sleeping!).
By 3:30am, the surges were coming every 3 minutes and I couldn’t handle laying in bed anymore. Back we went to birth suite! I asked for an epi and my midwife said I needed to have bloods checked first. The surges were now almost on top of each other and the Dr was asking me to lay still, so she could get the cannula in. This was absolute agony! We laugh about it now - Daniel says he was sweating bullets watching her try to find a vein while I’m having surge on top of surge and trying not to move! You can just imagine!
I then moved to the birth ball where to everyone’s surprise, I asked for the gas! I needed something else to occupy my mind! I remember having extreme back pain and had Mum continuously applying pressure to my back, while I needed Daniel’s face close to mine, constantly telling me it was ok!
I then felt that innate involuntary need to push. I yelled “I need to poo!” My midwife ran in asking me to hop on the bed before doing a quick check. “Oh yes baby’s right there” I heard her say. There was no time for the epi – big girl was coming! (We had found out she was a girl at 12 weeks but had kept it between Daniel and I)
After 20 minutes of pushing, her head and shoulders were out. Without any thought, I reached down and pulled her out and onto my chest.
Gigi - the missing piece to our now complete puzzle - born at 4:51am at 3.53kg and 50cm.
What do you wish you knew before birth?
I wish I had educated myself more about physiological birth, so I fully understood what was happening and about the birth process itself. Looking back and knowing what I do now, I was very naïve.
If you could, would you do anything differently?
All 3 of my births were special in their own ways – they gave me my 3 incredibly special and healthy children.
I stand by that birth isn’t only about how you BIRTHED your baby, but also how you FELT! I look back on my 3 births with all positive and happy emotions.
What did your partner do that really helped during labour/birth?
Daniel held a good poker face – I’m sure there were times he was shitting himself, but he never let it show. He did not leave my side for 1 second and was the constant encouragement and reassurance I needed.
Mum knew what I needed before I knew I needed it – she was constantly re-wetting cloths and putting them on my head. She was also our birth photographer / videographer for each of the girls (very raw and sometimes a bit dodgy footage *hello the ceiling haha* but I love them and still watch them often.
I walked away from the girls’ births feeling so supported and empowered – something every woman deserves! Having a supportive birth team made all the difference for me and is what actually motivated me into moving into the birth / doula space. So I too can be a personalised support system for expecting families.
What advice/honest truth would give a mama-to-be about birth?
Trust your body and that it knows what to do! Surrender to the process.
Oxytocin (the love hormone) is what helps to stimulate your contractions – make sure your birth environment is set up so it’s conducive to get that ocytocin flowing!
Research and get educated so you can advocate for yourself, knowing you are making informed decisions.
You have a say in everything! Don’t feel you always have to say yes!
Preparing for labour and childbirth is a given, but don’t neglect your postpartum. Postpartum care is vital. Lean on your village!
Get yourself a Doula *wink*