When tessa met lara
Tessa, was a recovery nurse for three years before having Lara so she knew the ins and outs of birth - which was a blessing and a curse for her.
At 36 weeks she booked in for a planned c-section, as baby Lara was breech. Her friends filled the theatre, where she is usually the one on the other side of the table - not the one on it.
Everything went well, and the c-section was very quick, but she says the biggest challenge she was faced with was when they pulled Lara out.
Tessa tells her birth story in her own words…
All in and all my actual birth experience was very positive.
From 30 weeks Lara decided that she wanted to be breech. She had 0 intension of moving so by 36 weeks I had opted for a planned C-section. I had been given my date by the OB of 14/9/22 and awaited the call from the hospital. The call came and I found out I was booked in 2 days time. After slightly freaking out, I made sure everything was ready and then the day rolled around.
I was the last C-section on my list. We (my husband Sean and I) arrived at the hospital around 10am, did the pre-op blood tests and made our way to Day Surgery admission. I was admitted and changed into my hospital gown. Then for the next 5 hours we waited. That felt like the longest 5 hours of my life. At one stage we were told there was a cancellation so I’d be next, but then an emergency came through so I was pushed back. Which is fine, I get the system.
I was very fortunate that I used to work in the theatre at TCH. So my friends basically made up my theatre team. Which was some what comforting but we also had to get very personal. My husband was taken to the waiting area whilst I got prepared.
Whilst I waited in the anaesthetic bay multiple people popped in to say Hi and wish me luck. But once it was time to actually go in and get my spinal anaesthetic I started to freak out. I’ve always been the one on the other side of the table. Not the one on it.
Sometimes knowledge isn’t a good thing. I knew what was about to happen with the spinal and i was not keen! I hunched over the table holding onto my friend’s hand and I think I hurt him more than the spinal did (ahah). I was surprised at how quick it took effect. Within a few minutes I was hooked up to all the monitors, my husband was now by my side, the drapes went up and they made the incision. We all joked about the time of birth but I did guess it ! 1629pm. Exactly 7 minutes after incision! It all happened so quickly it was really hard for me to process.
The one part that was uncomfortable was when the assistant had to push on the top of my belly to help move Lara down. But the biggest challenge I faced was when they pulled Lara out. I was expecting to feel that rush of emotion and love. But all I felt was numb. Literally and emotionally. As a nurse I cried at every C-section I was involved in. But my own birth, I just laid there staring at Lara. I don’t know if I was in shock or what but I just felt nothing.
The midwife gave Lara to my husband first and looking back on it I do wonder if I missed out on some bonding time when she was straight out of the womb. I didn’t get any skin to skin straight away. It wasn’t until I was being taken to recovery that I got to hold her.
Once I was in recovery the Morphine really kicked in. I don’t remember video calling our families or what happened in there. But apparently I had a good time. Next thing I knew we were down on the post natal ward. Just Sean, Lara and me. Expected to know what the hell to do. I had never felt so lost. All of the information the hospitals give you is about labor and birth. But what about after?! I didn’t know how to breastfeed, swaddle, settle her. I was treading water like there was no tomorrow. All whilst trying to deal with the pain from the C-section and waiting for the feeling in my legs to come back.
The first night in the hospital was fine, our midwife over night was really helpful and took Lara so we could get some sleep. But after the second night we just wanted to go home. Sean’s sister is a midwife and was staying with us for a while so we just wanted to get home and have her take care of us. We managed to get discharged after 2 days which was earlier than expected because Lara and I were doing well.
What do you wish you knew before birth?
How fast paced everything is with a c-section (provided it goes to plan). Don’t be afraid to ask the theatre staff to be your photographers. They will happily oblige. Try to focus on the fact that you’re bringing a life into the world and not that it’s “major abdominal surgery”.
And that it’s also ok to not feel that over whelming sense of love when your baby is born. It took me a while to feel a connection to Lara. Through the battles of Postnatal depression and trying to heal from the C-section I did come out the other side so grateful and I love my little girl more than I can put into words.
If you could, would you do anything differently?
I would want to have the skin to skin as soon as she was born. I really feel like I missed out on a precious moment.
What did your partner do that really helped during labour/birth?
Sean is not one to deal well with blood and gore. So it was always going to be a challenge for him to watch me go through this. But despite all that he was so supportive and made sure I had anything I needed. He rubbed my head and held my hand whilst they were operating and made sure that I was doing ok. In the end I had to make sure he was ok ahah. When they pulled Lara out Sean got very pale and did not want to stand up. He couldn’t bring himself to cut the cord either. I think he would have thrown up ahha. But he was a trooper.
What advice/honest truth would give a mama-to-be about birth?
It is a scary process but it can be so incredible. Unfortunately you don’t know what your experience is going to be until you’re in the throws of it. But everyone is there to help you. And even though you may think you hate your husband, partner, support person at the time, it does pass aha.