When tash met daphne
Okay so, this whole pregnancy I had two due dates for some reason… I think some medical professionals had one and others had the other. So they were the 12th of March and the 14th. I had changed my maternal care sometime between October and December as I had been going through Winnunga but I had a lot of miscommunication, my midwife didn’t feel right and I would feel uncomfortable and no one was really listening to me.
So I transferred care to Queanbeyan (mind you at the time I lived in Watson, but in January I moved to Giralang… unfortunate part about renting!). Fast forward to when I was about 37-38 weeks pregnant. I was so uncomfortable and felt so big, I just wanted to get baby girl OUT!
Prior to this she had been measuring small and I was on fortnightly ultrasound scans until she showed better growth. I was trying the labour inducing workouts on YouTube, eating spicy food, sex, some random labour inducing tiktok dance I found, nothing was “working”… I had also been drinking raspberry leaf tea, one per day from 36 weeks and then by 38 weeks I was having 2 a day. I got to 40 weeks, I had never been this pregnant before; I was induced at 38 weeks with my son in 2023. I was still eating spicy foods, having three cups of tea every day when I could remember… but I had given up the exercises. It was then the 13th of March, I went and had spicy noodles with my partner and we got pedicures for the fun of it. When we were at home, watching the footy, I sat on the couch and felt a pop, down there, and a warm gush feeling (you know when you sneeze on your period?) I had never knew this feeling because they broke my waters with my first, it was very traumatic how they did it, so I had no idea and I thought it would be painful.
I went to the bathroom, and noticed it just kept gushing out, little by little. I called the hospital, they gave me advice on when to come in, and then it was the waiting game.
I was pacing around the house, rechecking my bag, rechecking my son’s bag as he was going to go stay with my brother. Konrad (my son) was already in bed asleep, we called my brother to let him know I was labouring and that we would call him when we leave for the hospital. The contractions started. I was messaging back and forth with my mum who lived in png as she is who I message for everything. They then were about 5 minutes apart, we started our trip from Belconnen to Queanbeyan hospital. It felt almost like we were running away from something, leaving the house at about 10pm, with our sleeping toddler.
Throughout the car ride I kept feeling the gush and the contractions were getting intense but I breathed my way through it. We got to the hospital and then waited for my brother so we could give him Konrad. I waited to say goodbye to him.
Contractions were lasting 1 minute, 4 minutes apart and I was just standing in the carpark. Finally checked in at about 10:50pm. The midwives were beautiful, I started listening to my music and breathing through the pain. But then I realised I was so hungry, we didn’t have dinner because of the big spicy noodle lunch we had. So my partner ordered some McDonald’s and we waited.
The pain was getting more intense, I asked to use the bathtub. And when I say this was just the best thing ever, it definitely was! I wanted a bathtub with Konrad’s birth, but didn’t get one. (He was born north Canberra btw) I got in the warm water and it made everything feel so much better, I was labouring in the bath when my partner went to get out McDonald’s… I didn’t know how quickly things would go during this part. But my contractions were getting worse, the midwives checked on me a couple of times, made me feel like a super star, and then the food arrived. I was so hungry, I tried to eat but by this point my contractions were too close that by the time I chewed and was about to swallow a chip, I was contracting and it was too painful to do anything (1-2 minutes apart by this point).
I got out of the bath and asked for morphine. They checked how dilated I was and said it was too far along. So I asked for the epidural instead, they got me on the bed and began doing the tests and preparing me, while we waited for the person with the needle to arrive. But this is where it got intense. I could no longer sit on the bed, it was raised. I started saying I needed the bed down, I was about ready to dive off of the bed because of how uncomfortable I was. I got out of bed, couldn’t find a comfortable way to stand, tried to sit again, couldn’t do that, and then I squatted, with one leg on the bed. This. This was the position I felt more comfortable in… I could feel her coming, it was time, I was in a fair amount of pain, I bit my partner, poor guy, I didn’t even realise it too until he said I was biting him.
A couple of big pushes and she practically dived out with her hands above her head. She was 3290 grams and born at 2:39am! No tearing, just a small graze which was amazing! She crawled from tummy to breast which the midwives had never seen before and we delayed cord clamping until it turned absolutely white. My partner got to cut it and I naturally delivered my placenta without any pulling or intervention (which I also didn’t get to do with Konrad which gave me an infection because placenta got left). The midwife asked about my placenta, I told her that I always wanted to plant the placentas underneath trees but we didn’t own property to do that, so I missed out on it with my son. She said I should get a pot and plant it in the pot underneath a tree of some sort. She said people usually do lemon trees. I got very excited and decided to keep it. I planted it underneath a magnolia tree in a beautiful pot which is painted with pinks and reds which remind me of the placenta.
What do you wish you knew before birth?
wish I knew how much a warm bath would change things, and move labour along ! Oh also, all those things that “induce labour” the exercises, the tea. They’re really just ripening your cervix and getting your body ready for labour, as you can’t make it happen unless medically. And I truly believe all the tea I had, the exercises, that’s what made this birth go so quickly and easily! (My first was a 12 hour labour)
If you could, would you do anything differently?
I wouldn’t change a thing. It was so much better than my first that I felt so empowered!! I had beautiful midwives who made it so special too! Bron and Alana!
What did your partner do that really helped during labour/birth?
He listened to what I needed, held me through contractions, rocked with me and advocated for me! Plus, the sprite he got me really helped get me through and then the cold cheeseburger after? Chefs kiss. He did amazing
What advice/honest truth would give a mama-to-be about birth?
Please please please, always advocate for what you want in labour and delivery, even leading up to. Don’t be scared to change care providers and remember that your body is made to do this!