I Went Back to Work Full Time and Here’s What I’m Learning About Guilt

I’ve recently returned to full-time work.

And before anyone jumps in with “good for you!” or “I don’t know how you do it”, let me say this first:
It’s hard. Like, really hard.

My husband works away during the week.
I don’t have family nearby.
There’s no built-in village waiting to catch me when a child is sick, daycare closes early, or dinner needs to magically appear at 5:30pm.

Some days feel like a blur of alarms, lunchboxes, drop-offs, deadlines, pick-ups, and bedtime negotiations, all while carrying that familiar, heavy feeling mums know too well: guilt.

Guilt for leaving.
Guilt for staying.
Guilt for wanting more.
Guilt for being exhausted by the life we love so deeply.

And trust me, I know how hard it is.

The Guilt Isn’t a Sign You’re Doing It Wrong

Somewhere along the way, many of us learned that being a “good mum” meant shrinking ourselves. That if something benefited us, like, lets say, our growth, our confidence, our sense of self, anything to do with YOU it must come at the cost of our kids.

But what I’m learning (slowly, imperfectly, and with plenty of tears along the way) is this:

The guilt doesn’t mean we’re doing something wrong.
It often means we’re doing something new.

Something unfamiliar.
Something that stretches us.
Something that asks us to hold more than one truth at once.

Yes, my children need me.
And yes, I need me too.

Looking After Yourself Isn’t Selfish, It’s Sustainable

When I look after myself -mentally, emotionally, professionally - I show up better for the people I love.

Not perfectly.
Not endlessly.
But more present. More patient. More grounded.

I’m modelling resilience.
I’m modelling independence.
I’m modelling that mums are whole humans, not just the background operators of family life.

And some days? I’m modelling that it’s okay to say, “This is hard, and I’m still doing it.”

To the Mums Carrying the Same Weight

If you’re navigating work, solo parenting during the week, limited support, or that constant internal tug-of-war, know that I see you.

If you’re questioning your choices at red lights or after bedtime, babe, you’re not alone.

And if you’re trying to move past the guilt so you can do something for you, let this be your permission slip:

Taking care of yourself is not taking away from your family.
It’s investing in the version of you they get every day.

We’re allowed to grow.
We’re allowed to choose ourselves sometimes.
And we’re allowed to admit it’s hard, without apologising for wanting more.