Valuing your health in motherhood
By Kate Richardson, Postpartum Doula and business owner of Holding Mum
Toast.
The most common answer when I ask new mothers what they have been eating the first weeks after birth. Or if you’re a mother of toddlers you may have moved to just crusts. I was here. I did this too.
In the 4th trimester trenches, when we need more nourishment than ever, we often find ourselves neglecting our personal health the most.
If you’re anything like me, this (teamed with sleep deprivation) turned into three years of fatigue, migraines and an overall decline in mental health. It led me to do my own research and eventually commence the work I do now as a postpartum doula.
My role is to help mothers prioritise their recovery post birth and to provide physical/emotional support. I also assist in helping mothers connect with themselves and to allow mental breaks from mothering, which in turn leaves them energised for a long night with a newborn.
In my opinion and experience, this is a huge part of the postpartum healing and in fact is a key to restoring mothers. If only we could rid ourselves of the guilt we feel for being away from our children that society has placed on us for years for not wanting to spend every waking moment with our children.
Why is it so important to prioritise our health postpartum for our long term health? What we do in the first 40 days has HUGE effects on our longterm health.
Inadequate nutrition leaves depleted stores unreplenished for long periods of time leading to hormone imbalance. This can affect overall energy, mood, gut health, immune health, mental health and an ability to cope. Many cultures honour the 40 days after birth as sacred, with the mother spending long periods of time resting while being cared for. Think about your postpartum…how did you care for yourself?
If you are feeling depleted and flat years after children, it may be time to investigate, mama. If you have not yet gotten onto the work of Dr Oscar Serralach this is a great place to start.
Dr Serralach is a Byron Bay Doctor who specialises in mother care and restoring depleted mothers. His book “The Postnatal Depletion Cure” is bible to myself and other mother-carers around the world. Dr Serralach believes if we can restore balance to mothers ASAP after birth using his guidelines, we can help avoid postnatal depletion (which can continue for ten years after birth) as well as postnatal anxiety/depression.
In implementing his research into my postnatal care for my clients and for myself I have literally watched mothers transform to have more energy and feel overall brighter, happier mamas.
I believe one of the key differences in what I offer in my support to new mothers and mothers of young children is gently guiding and assisting them to connect with themselves.
While the focus in a postpartum period is without a doubt rest, in debriefing with mothers I have found that the lack of space to simply take a breath and ask themselves “how am I really?”…“what do I need right now?” and “who am I now?” hugely contributes to a decline in mental/emotional recovery.
Allowing ourselves these little slithers of time connects us with our purpose (which yes, may be caring for the baby in this period), but having this conversation and allowing a mother time and space to do so is to breathe fresh air into our new identity.
In turn this provides emotional healing time and leaves a mother more connected with herself and thus her baby. Time away (in short amounts) should be listed as high priority in recovery without gasps from society and its expectations of a new mother or any mother.
Lets start valuing our health higher as mothers, seeing it as a necessity NOT a luxury and notice what changes it makes to ourselves, our families and our mothering.
Finally, I’ll leave you with some examples of how to higher value your health within mothering;
1. Connecting with ourselves and making time for it even if its 10 minutes. Grab a blank piece of paper and prompt yourself “What do I need more of?” “How am I feeling?” then list 3 things you can do to take action in this direction to give you more of what you need.
2. Ditch the guilt around prioritising YOU time. A balanced mother is a better mother, a happy a mother, a restored mother.
3. Nutrition is absolute KEY. Look at what you are fuelling your body with and reach out if you need support. There are energy giving, mood changing, overall wellbeing effects when you start eating frequently enough, and the right stuff, and it isn’t too hard. I’ve witnessed huge changes in women I care for almost instantly when nutrition is amended.
4. Hold strong boundaries around you time, around what you have energy for and where
you want this energy placed.
5. Accept, acknowledge and honour your emotions. When we owacknowledge something is there, honour it, but understand it limits us this is when we can truly move forward. Expecting things to disappear by pushing it down means the anguish it causes you usually returns. This is why personal time is important, to speak and connect with yourself.
6. Move. Walk. Dance. Movement in the body even when tired provides an energy boost, a mood boost and is overall amazing for your wellbeing.
7. Talk to people you love and love being around.
8. Ask for support. Support (especially in postpartum) is essential for wellbeing. We were never meant to raise children in isolation.
“The Wellbeing of mothers is the fabric from which the cloth of the future of our society is made”
Kate is a Postpartum Doula, business owner of Holding Mum and mother of two. She’s passionate about helping mothers reconnect with their own identity and passions, understanding matrescence and the importance of postpartum self care.
Find her on Instagram @holdingmum.