Danielle Beucher

Tell us a bit about yourself?

My name is Danii. I'm 30 years old, born and bred in Canberra. I'm an accountant at Airservices Australia but currently on maternity leave until later in the year. I have a 7.5 month old baby boy called Forest.

What were you doing before babies?

Before Forest, I was a very active gym and dancing junkie. I spent most of my weekends renovating our previous home, with my husband and taking our two furbabes on walks. I enjoy working, so had a second job in hospitality 2-3 evenings per week. Life was busy but mostly carefree.

How did you come to be a mum?

My husband and I were about to get married, so about a month before our wedding we decided to stop 'being careful' as we were both 'ready' to have a baby (not that you're ever really ready, I've since discovered) - and that month we fell pregnant. Thankfully, the morning sickness held off until the day after the wedding. I then fell very ill and was diagnosed with hyperemesis gravidarum which made my pregnancy very difficult.

What has your feeding journey been like?

Feeding for us was seamless. Forest didn't have any tongue or lip ties, I've never had any nipple pain and I didn't have any issues with him latching. BUT that doesn't mean I haven't found it challenging. I absolutely adore the bond I have with Forest whilst breastfeeding. Before motherhood I felt like breastfeeding could be a strange experience but I feel so lucky to have had the opportunity. In saying that, the control freak in me struggled with certain aspects of it. Because Forest is a tiny baby, I starting pumping and bottle feeding to monitor his intake. Long story short, I found breastfeeding easier than the commitment of pumping and so one day at around 8 weeks, he stopped taking the bottle. We are currently 7.5 months in and only very occasionally have success with him taking a bottle now. It has made life a lot less flexible but on the hard days, I remind myself to appreciate these moments because soon he will be running around and not want a bar of me. This part of the journey is really very temporary.

What has sleep been like in your house?

Sleep is such an up and down journey. Forest is not a 'unicorn, slept through at 6 weeks' baby, nor is he a 'wakes every hour' baby. I think the worst nights we have had so far were around the 4 month sleep regression where he woke 4 times a night at the most but it only kast a week or so. He is relatively easy to settle though. I follow a few sleep consultants on instagram so I felt equipped with settling techniques that luckily worked really well for us. We are currently down to one wake per night which I find totally manageable. I will hopefully be night weaning soon. When Forest is teething he can have periods where he is difficult to settle but they really don't last longer than a few nights.

The hardest bits…

Gosh. Well, on the one hand I feel like motherhood has been the most natural transformation and then on the other, the biggest slap in the face. Mentally, I was very aware that my life would change. I feel like being sick for 75% of my pregnancy prepared me for that. I knew my time wouldn't be my own and I knew I wouldn't be able to 'just leave the house' like I did before. But when it actually happens, it's so different. I had this wonderful plan mapped out in my head that maybe 2-3 times per week I could just drop Forest off at my mum's or mother in law's, leave a bottle with them, and go to the gym or for a walk or do something for myself. But in practice, it's not that easy for so many other reasons on top of him not taking a bottle. I didn't really realise how much I'd have to work around feeding, naps, awake time and getting my own sh*t done at home. Or that some days, I'd find it hard to actually have my own time, because I'd be thinking about him and wondering if he was OK. Additionally, Forest's low weight gain and growth chart tracking, paired with a really upsetting experience at QEII made me deeply question myself as a first time mother. On top of that, when Forest was 7 weeks, my husband was diagnosed with a brain tumour. It was a big shock and quickly brought us back to reality after being in the newborn love bubble. It's been a challenging time whilst navigating motherhood but I feel like if we can get through this, we can get through anything.

The best bits…

The best bits by far have been watching myself and my husband love more deeply. The love you have for your baby is unlike anything else. Watching him change and develop is the most rewarding thing I've ever done. The other amazing part of motherhood is the support I've got around me. I'm so lucky to have so many inspirational women in my life - family, fellow mum friends and even women on social media that I haven't seen or spoken to in a while, reach out and give helpful advice and/or words of encouragement and you don't realise how much you need it until you get it. Watching my husband become a dad has been another highlight. I just love him so much more every day because he approaches some aspects of parenthood so much better than me. I love that we are teaching each other things along the way too.

How do you make time for yourself?

More recently I've really been making a conscious effort to book out an hour here and there for myself. Before Forest, I went to the gym 4 to 5 times a week and it was the biggest release for me physically but more mentally. It took some time to get my mojo back and I haven't returned to the type of exercise I did before but now, I think I've discovered 'my new thing'. I've found a love for reformer pilates so I try to attend 2 to 3 classes per week. I fit them around Forest's naps on the weekend or after 7pm during the week once he is down at night.

What’s next for you and your family?

Next up is tackling my husband's upcoming surgery. Then if all goes well, we have committed to another renovation. The balance of returning to work and having Forest is daycare 2 days a week will be another challenge we have to manage too. We never do things by halves but I am feeling positive it will all work out.

If you could talk to your pre baby/kid self, what advice would you give?

Omg, this question makes me emotional. Embrace this change and when I say embrace, I don't mean enjoy. I'm not about that toxic positivity bullsh*t. I mean, feel it, feel all the feelings. You are blossoming into a completely new version of yourself and some days are really effing hard and others are just euphoric. You are learning every day and thats hard work. Be kind to yourself. Call whoever you need to when you need to. Ask for help. Get out of the house and go for a walk and just wear that baby that is refusing to nap. You need the sunshine. No one is doing it better than you. No one knows how to be a better mum for your baby. You know them best. We are all winging it and we are all superheroes.