Tell us a bit about yourself?

First and foremost I am a mum to an absolutely hilarious, bad ass little lady - Lottie. I love being outdoors, love summer and am a bit of a tom boy.

What were you doing before babies?

Before bubba I worked within the animal industry, spent my time working, going to the gym, travelling and thought I was always busy (lol, you naive pre-mum Jacqui).

How did you come to be a mum?

My husband and I were married a week when I fell pregnant, it was such a mix of emotions finding out - excitement, disbelief. Am I going to be a good mum? Am I really ready for this? At 6 weeks, still filled with so many emotions, the nausea and vomiting kicked in and it was absolute hell! It was relentless, all day! About the same time the sickness kicked in I had an extremely heavy bleed, which the doctor said was likely a miscarriage. I was booked in for an ultrasound to confirm this the following Monday. Monday came and as I laid there alone, the ultrasonographer asked if I would like to see my babies heart beating. I couldn’t believe it, I had spent the entire weekend mourning for a baby I would never meet only to find out that they were still in there, growing, beating away. I was diagnosed with a subchorionic hematoma which is an accumulation of blood beneath the lining of the uterus and the chorion (the outer layer of the sac the baby is inside of) or under the placenta. I suffered from heavy bleeding until 14 weeks, had too many ultrasounds to count and was put on strict bed rest. I found this stage of pregnancy to be extremely, extremely isolating. Everything I read about subchorionic hematomas pointed me to miscarriage. We didn’t tell any of our loved ones that we were expecting, I couldn’t bare the thought of having to tell them we had lost the baby. In hindsight I should have reached out, I really needed my people and I denied myself them, afraid of letting them down. The bleeding finally stopped but unfortunately the nausea and vomiting didn’t, despite being medicated I still struggled with HG until the day I gave birth. At a routine check up at around 36 weeks the doctor expressed concerns regarding the size of my bump and referred me for an ultrasound. The ultrasound actually didn’t seem to go too badly and I was confident that all was well - until I revived a phone call from my doctor. I was told that my baby was small and they suspected she may be inter uterine growth restricted (IUGR). I had so many questions, none of which they could answer. Was my baby ok? Would she be ok? What was the cause? After many appointments, ultrasounds, measurements and monitoring I was booked in to be induced at 37 weeks. Bub wasn’t gaining any weight in utero and would do better in my arms. I was incredibly frightened, not for labour or birth, but for my baby. All I wanted was to have my baby, healthy, in my arms. The induction process was explained to me, as were the possible outcomes for my baby. She would likely be born small, may need assistance and they won’t know for certain what has been causing her growth restriction until she was here. After 4 hours, my beautiful, tiny, 2.4kg, baby girl was in my arms. I knew, the moment I locked eyes with her that she was ok, that everything would be ok. She was so incredibly beautiful. I lost a fair bit of blood during her birth and unfortunately had a retained placenta so Bub was handed over to the safe arms of Dad while I headed off to theatre.

My placenta had started to break down and they estimated it was functioning at 20%, which was likely the cause of Bub being IUGR.

What has your feeding journey been like?

Feeding a 2.4kg, 37 week baby was not easy. I had no idea how to put my gigantic breast in her tiny mouth. I kept being told to sandwich my nipple… how the hell? For the first couple of weeks she took 3ml at a time which had to be given with a syringe, it was incredibly stressful, knowing she wasn’t getting enough but not knowing how to help. Eventually, after hours of pumping, persistence and tears, the feeding got better. She put on weight like an absolute champ and was soon sitting within the average weight range. She is now nearly one and loves her tucker like there’s no tomorrow!

What has sleep been like in your house?

Sleep has never been a problem for us. I honestly think having such a tough pregnancy I was just on cloud nine with this new baby in my arms. I didn’t care if I didn’t sleep a single wink all night, as long as I had my healthy little bubba in my arms. The hardest bits… Pregnancy was undeniably the hardest part of my motherhood journey. Mentally it was extremely challenging, I was fairly active prior to falling pregnant and exercise has always been a major outlet for me. After being put on bed rest I really had no distractions, I had no way to escape myself and felt like crap for 9 months. The best bits… Lottie, all of her. She has given me so much joy, laughter and love. The moment I held her in my arms I knew that my life would never be the same, for the better. Seeing everything through her eyes is so beautiful.

How do you make time for you?

I’m still working on finding this balance but I’m very good at expressing when I’m feeling a little overwhelmed. My husband is right there beside me, not just when I need him but always, as are so many family and friends which is incredibly important. It really does take a village to raise a baby.