Tell us a bit about yourself?

Hi my name is Sam and I'm a 23 year old first time mama to my beautiful little girl Evie ( 10 months) and wife to my highschool sweetheart of 10 years. I met my husband when we were 13. We got engaged at 19 and finally tied the knot on Valentines Day 2021! We also have a fur child, 5 year old Penny the Pug who Evie loves to giggle at. I'm a Registered Nurse but have spent the past 6+ years working as a carer in Aged Care, I now work as a Community Mental Health Nurse.

What were you doing before babies?

Uni and working... very exciting stuff I know! After 3 very long years at uni I couldn't be happier to finally be finished. There were many, many tears over essays and clinicals, I thought the placements would never end! But they did and now I get to do what I love and that's care for people, so it was all worth it in the end. The month I graduated was also the month I found out I was pregnant! Two very happy reasons to celebrate, just minus the champagne.

How did you come to be a mum?

My husband and I had been waiting for many years to have a baby. Being so young for the majority of our relationship we obviously knew that we needed to wait until we were a bit older and had our life more set up before having a baby. I also wanted to be finished uni. We bought our own place in the beginning of 2020, I was in my last semester of nursing and Covid ruined our original wedding plans so we thought...why wait? Let's try for a baby now. To our surprise it didn't happen as quickly as we expected, it took about 6 months to conceive. I now know this is common and isn't long compared to what some couples go through but it opened my eyes to how emotionally draining trying to conceive can be. I am grateful everyday I had an easy pregnancy and a healthy baby. I have always wanted to be a "young mum" and the timing felt right, Evie was meant to be. I was 23 weeks pregnant when I got married and I love looking at my wedding photos knowing she was with me for every moment of that beautiful day.

What has your feeding journey been like?

I'm a bit unconventional and I chose to formula feed Evie from birth. I struggled with this decision throughout my pregnancy, I had it in my head that I was being "selfish" by not wanting to breastfeed and I still feel that way sometimes even though I would never think that of someone else wanting to formula feed. I know Breastmilk/Breastfeeding is so beneficial for mum and bub, thats why I was very torn in making my decision. I truly admire women who chose to breastfeed as I have seen it can take a huge physical and mental toll. I have struggled with mental health issues in my teens, this taught me alot about myself and after some self reflection I knew that breastfeeding wasn't the path for me if I wanted to keep my mental health in check. I know myself very well and It was way more important to me that I was a happy and healthy mum for my little girl. I don't regret my decision and Evie is healthy and thriving! I did express colostrum in the lead up to birth so I could give that to her for the first few days of life in addition to formula. Everyone, especially my husband, has been very supportive of my decision which was a big weight off my shoulders as I thought I'd always have to defend my reasons for why I'm not breastfeeding. It may not make sense to some people and that's okay, what's important is that formula feeding made sense to me so I could be the mum my daughter deserved. All in all our feeding journey has gone smoothly and been very enjoyable!

What has sleep been like in your house?

Oh those newborn days were hard! it's amazing how we can run off such little sleep, it truly felt like I would never sleep again. Evie's sleep was a bit all over the place until she was about 3 months, since then she has been doing much longer stretches and at the moment only wakes once a night for a feed or to be resettled, so pretty good really. I was initially interested in sleep training but have decided not to go down that path for now as we have surrendered to the fact that there are good nights and bad nights. It was helpful to learn sleep isn't linear, I appreciate the good night's when they come and remember that the bad nights don't last forever. Evie has Hip Dysplasia and for 4 months was in cast that went from her underarms to her ankles, she slept surprisingly well considering. I was very worried we would be back to the newborn days. She is now in a brace and sleeps pretty soundly still :)

The hardest bits…

Definitely everything to do with Evie's diagnosis of Severe Hip Dysplasia (DDH) It was a huge shock, I was devastated and then felt guilty for feeling this way as we are so lucky it's a fixable condition when so many other families don't have that light at the end of the tunnel. Evie was born with shallow hip sockets causing her right hip to be moderately unstable and her left severely dislocated. It all began when I was told she had a "clicky hip" at her first check up and her GP requested she have an ultrasound done. I really didn't think much of it, Evie was moving around well and had even starting to roll! There were no obvious symptoms at all, it was only after I learnt more about DDH that I found Evie had 2 big risk factors...first born and female. Covid lockdown hit Canberra not long after that appointment and I regrettably delayed her ultrasound appointment by a few weeks. The ultrasound confirmed the GP's suspicions and within a week a orthopaedic specialist had reviewed Evie and we were off to Sydney Children's Hospital Randwick for surgery and the cast to be put on. Evie's DDH was considered a late diagnosis, she was only around 3 months old at the time but we were told due to the severity of her DDH she needed surgery followed by a Cast ( Hip Spica Cast) for a minimum of 12 weeks. I knew very little about what DDH actually was and I was so unsure about what was ahead, it all happened very quickly. The thought of my little baby going under general anaesthesia for surgery made me feel overwhelmed with guilt and fear.

Everything went well for the first 6 weeks, however, we had a setback along the way at her cast change which meant another small surgery and starting the 12 weeks all over again. I felt defeated as a mum and so sad for Evie. After a lot of teary phone calls to my mum, I realised that the only way is forward and we have to do all we can to get our girls hips healthy! We made it through the spica journey after 18 weeks and Evie is now in a Rhino Brace 23/7 for minimum 3 months. Evie is now nearly 10 months old, she hasn't been able to do the things that babies at her age are doing like sitting, rolling or crawling but we are told she will catch up eventually, she is making great progress. Its a very long journey and it's been tough not being able to watch her reach all these exciting milestones but she makes us proud everyday with all the other ways she is learning. Evie is the most happy baby (most of the time) , her smile makes it all feel okay and I know it will all be worth it the day she takes those first few steps.

The best bits…

There are so many but I love the bond Evie and I are developing. I have always felt very connected to her from the moment I found out I was pregnant. Each day the love between us grows and it just melts my heart when she does little things that tell me she knows I'm her mama. I also love seeing my husband being a dad. He has wanted to be a dad for as long as I have known him, he is such a loving father and I can see how much he adores his little girl. Evie's DDH has come with many lessons, the greatest being resilience and appreciation for the small things. I'm very grateful her condition is fixable and she is otherwise a very healthy and happy baby.

How do you make time for yourself?

I'm back at work full time so it's hard to make time for myself now but one thing I like is listening to podcasts or music to and from work. Then once Evie is in bed I enjoy a hot shower and watching TV with a cup of tea. The simple things :)

What’s next for you and your family?

We had a huge 2021 with planning a wedding, getting married, having a baby and now the hip dysplasia stuff but we are always onto the next big thing! Im back at work and we hope to buy a bigger home this year. We want to enjoy Evie for a while so we will think about having another baby in a couple of years, in the meantime we just want to enjoy life and make many happy memories with our little girl.

A piece of advice for our readers?

My biggest advice is to please please please get your babies hips checked properly through their first year of life, not just at 6 weeks. I have heard too many stories about DDH going undetected due to improper checks or no checks at all, it often gets picked up once children are learning to walk. Its way more common then you'd think and the earlier the treatment, the less invasive and better the outcome will be! And finally, don't be hard on yourself if things don't go the way you expected or imagined they would be, you can only do the best you can and at the end of the day your little one loves you no matter what xx