Tell us a bit about yourself?

I’m Ruby, I’m 25 and my little one Iggy is somehow 8 months old already. I honestly felt like I was pregnant for two years and this last 8 months has just flown by. We live in Canberra with my partner Theo. I am lucky to still be enjoying mat-leave and all the early morning coffee shop hang outs while negotiating the ‘morning nap’. I’ve just recently returned to studying which has been a great way to break up the routine you can easily get stuck in with a new bub.

What were you doing before babies?

Before Iggy I was definitely living much more spontaneously.. and indulging in a lot more wine. I was definitely someone who loved to be out and about and on the move, I don’t know if I’d make it out past 8pm anymore. I was studying and working full time and had a very busy social life - somehow managing to pack a lot into a 24hr day.

How did you come to be a mum?

Iggy was a lovely little surprise. I always knew I wanted to be a mum, I’ve always been extremely maternal. We definitely weren’t planning on having babies anytime soon but it’s been the most amazing and challenging adventure.

We found out we were pregnant at about 4/5 weeks because I was SO sick, I never really understood how debilitating morning sickness could be before becoming pregnant myself, I think using the term ‘morning’ is totally misleading. The concept of day and night became lost to me, I was quite sick and unable to sleep. I think I survived on vegemite toast, ginger lollies and copious cups of tea for the first 15 weeks or so. The silver lining to our short lockdown in Canberra was that uni and work both became remote. I was really lucky to have a reasonably easy pregnancy after my morning sickness subsided. I was also really lucky to have a great birth with Iggy. The day Iggy was born we were unable to have visitors in hospital as we ended up having to stay a few nights because I was experiencing some blood loss and Iggy had undertaken a bit of jaundice. Although our families were really eager to meet Iggy it was actually really nice to have the time for the three of us to connect.

What has your feeding journey been like?

One of the things I went into motherhood naively believing was that because breastfeeding is a ‘natural’ process it therefore must just be fairly simple. I now know this isn’t the case at all. I had an abundance of colostrum, no nipple damage etc so I really thought I’d ace breastfeeding. Feeding has been one of my bigger struggles as a mum. Iggy had trouble latching from birth, we didn’t get that beautiful ‘breast crawl’ moment. I found the hospital and continuity midwives advice really overwhelming, each teaching me something different that contradicted the last, even getting scolded by the next one who came in for the way I was feeding. I was told I had an oversupply, at first I felt bad about being annoyed by this because I was given more than enough milk to feed my baby, but having a oversupply with a baby that doesn’t latch properly, won’t take a bottle, has a undiagnosed tongue tie and reflux isn’t at all fun. Iggy has had two tongue tie reversals and we’ve seen a few feeding consultants but it’s still a struggle sometimes, even at 8 months. A funny quirk in my new post baby appearance is that I have one breast that is at least two cup sizes bigger then the other, which I think is the breast Iggy and I both favoured early on in our feeding journey meaning it now produces the lions share of the milk…oh the things they don’t tell you about in birth class. Despite all that he actually loves his milk and loves feeding once he finds his rhythm. Breastfeeding out and about isn’t something we’ve ever mastered, early on I found the prep that went into it was sometimes not worth the trouble. When Iggy was about 8 weeks I went to feed him at my local cafe and as I pulled my breast pad out I shot milk towards the next table. Thankfully no one commented on it but it was definitely a sight for 8.30am. Iggy has now started on his solids journey so that has taken some pressure off of me.

What has sleep been like in your house?

Iggy was a great sleeper to start with. Nice long stretches over night and during the day. When reflux came along it disrupted his sleep and also meant we had to keep him upright for lengthy periods of time after feeds. We then started bed sharing, it’s not for everyone but it’s been really good for us and even helped with breastfeeding. Sometimes when he wakes he just wants a cuddle, pat on the bum or to hold hands so I’m glad I can be there and do that for him. At the moment I couldn’t paint the picture of a typical night, some nights I’m up twice and some nights I’m up 5 times or more. When Iggy was around 4-5 months old I decided to really remove the pressure around sleep, I also unfollowed the 20 sleep coaches I had followed on Instagram when I was pregnant - this really helped me.

The hardest bits…

For me feeding has been the hardest bit. I can do the sleepless nights but there was a lot of anxiety around feeding for the beginning months. Occasionally the loss of freedom or identity, when Iggy arrived on the scene it really was the start to a whole new chapter - now you’re ‘mum’.

The best bits…

The smiles, giggles, cuddles and the love. There is nothing like the way a baby looks at their mum. Everyday Iggy does something I think is amazing and all my friends have to witness my baby clapping all over Instagram. Iggy has also brought a lot to my relationship with Theo, it is no longer just about what we as individuals want or need -you have to be quite selfless when bubs are involved, it’s definitely made us stronger.

How do you make time for you?

This is still something I’m figuring out. Because Iggy has never taken a bottle and he sometimes decide he is hungry 10 minutes after a huge feed. Up until now I’ve found it difficult to leave him for long periods of time. I definitely need to work on my mum guilt and learn to let go a little. The things I love doing for me are really long hot showers, listening to a good podcast from start to finish and I’m very lucky that my mum owns a hair salon so I sometimes sneak away for a blowdry.

What’s next for you and your family?

Im actually really excited to be studying at the moment, I’m completing a qualification in postpartum and infant nutrition while I’ve got my uni degree on hold as I get the balancing act of new motherhood down. It’s something I’m really excited for to support Iggy on his solids journey and also hopefully help new mothers with their postpartum period and babies in the future too.