Tell us a bit about yourself?

I’m Elisha (Elisha Nelson), I am a 23-year-old mum to Eli who is 8 months old. I moved to Canberra from Armidale 3 years ago with my husband. We have been together since high school and got married in 2017.

What were you doing before babies?

Before Eli I was studying to become a teacher and working a few casual jobs. We were probably like most people in their early 20s, lots of socialising, traveling, and sleeping in!

How did you come to be a mum?

I had always dreamed of being a mum, and so when I had some minor health scares come up, it prompted my husband and I to make the decision that it was time, even though we were a little younger than we had always planned. I got pregnant relatively quickly and for the most part I loved being pregnant.

Eli’s entrance into the world was a bit of a dramatic one, and it's something that I have only recently been able to work through. My labour went smoothly mostly. I laboured at home for around 24 hours before heading to the hospital. When we arrived, I was already 7cm dilated and less than 3 hours later he was born. He was put on my chest for a moment before being rushed to the resuscitation station because he wasn’t breathing. I vividly remember asking the midwife if he was okay and her not being able to give me an answer. He was revived pretty quickly, and spent an hour in the special care nursery for observation, but was deemed healthy and was able to come back to me after what felt like an eternity. My husband went with Eli to the nursery and I remember laying there all alone thinking “what the heck just happened”. It was such a surreal feeling going from the rush of pushing out and holding my child, to the terror of him not breathing, to the emptiness of laying in that room alone. It wasn’t until months later that I realised the effect that it had on me and my postpartum mental health journey, and is something that therapy has really helped me come to terms with.

What has your feeding journey been like?

Our feeding journey started off really smoothly. Eli ate like a champ and I loved breastfeeding him. At around 3 months he became fussy on the boob and even lost a little weight. At 4 months after trying everything I could we started supplementing with formula and at 5 months Eli decided he didn’t want to breastfeed anymore. It was heartbreaking at the time when I realised that he needed more than what I could make for him, and really brought out the hypervigilance that I developed as a result of his traumatic birth. Looking back now, I am just so grateful for the beautiful time that I did get to breastfeed my son.

What has sleep been like in your house?

We have had quite a rollercoaster when it comes to sleep in our house. At first Eli was a good sleeper and by 3 months he was sleeping 6-7 hours at a time. However, at around 3 months he hit the big sleep regression and he started waking up every half hour throughout the night. Most nights I would get 3-4 hours of sleep and it was awful. This continued until he was nearly 6 months old, when I gave in and went to stay at QE2 to get some help. Going to QE2 was hands down the best decision I have made since becoming a mum, and Eli gradually started to improve and is now sleeping from 6-6 almost every night. Anyone reading this going through sleep deprivation right now, you are amazing and you will get through this!

The hardest bits…

The hardest bit for me has definitely been the mental health journey. A combination of the lack of sleep, the traumatic birth and everything else going on postpartum led to me being in a pretty bad state for a little while. I was diagnosed with postpartum anxiety and depression and was suffering from pretty bad and regular panic attacks. I’ve since sought help from some of the incredible resources available to new parents in the ACT, and started on medication, and it has helped me to be able to love being a mum.

The best bits…

It’s hard to pick the best bit. I really love being a mum. I love seeing Eli’s personality develop, I love getting to know him, I love his smile and his laugh, I love the relationship that my husband and Eli share, and I love being able to share in all the exciting new experiences that Eli has. I think overall my favourite part is just having this awesome little human in my life as my constant little companion. Even though being a mum is so hard, it is so worth it.

How do you make time for you?

It has taken me a long time to figure out making time for myself but I do think I’m getting there! I try to have something planned for just me at least a few times every week. I love to go lap swimming and go for a bike ride every week, because staying healthy is also so good for my mind. I also try to make sure I have time every day for a shower or just a moment to get ready by myself.

What’s next for you and your family?

We would eventually love to grow our family but for the moment we are just really enjoying family life. We have some exciting trips to go on now that things are opening up a little bit, and I am looking to go back to uni next year, so that will be an interesting balance. I feel like we are really starting to get to the good bit, we are loving being parents and starting to feel real balance in our lives so are hoping to continue on this trajectory.

A piece of advice for our readers?

Never be afraid to ask for help. One of the most important things that I have learned is that I need to fill my cup to be able to fill the cups of those around me, and you can’t always do that alone. Also, don’t compare your baby to others because every baby is so different and they all have their own special ways of developing and learning. If you’re going through a hard time with motherhood, just know that this season will pass and there are brighter days ahead.