Tell us a bit about yourself?

My name is Heather, I am 35, born and bred in Canberra. (I find these days I struggle to answer this question). My husband (Brent) and I started dating in 2009 and were married in October 2015. I work in the public service and Brent and I have just moved into our forever home in Gowrie. We have a beautiful 3 year old son and spend most of my free time chasing him around. I love love, my family, friends, live music, trash tv, long phone calls with friends, road trips, singing in the car (I’m terrible), Champagne, gin, cocktails, tequila, wine, the list goes on!!  

I have 2 auto immune diseases, Multiple Sclerosis (MS) and Ankylosing Spondylosis. I have an incredible support network and team of doctors on my side. It is now my life’s mission to raise as much money as possible for MS Australia. I want to see a cure within my lifetime and to make the future brighter for people living with MS.

Last year we decided 2023 was going to be the year of fun. So we have booked in lots of little trips away for live music, great food and making more memories together as a couple and family.

What were you doing before babies/children?

Pre Remy, I was still floating around Canberra enjoying pre Covid life. My husband and I loved spontaneous weekend trips away, live music and relaxing with a cocktail or two. We were often found on the lawns of Capital Brewing Co. I am a very social person and love spending time with friends and family. This was a lot simpler before I had to work around a crazy little 3 year old.

How did you come to be a mum? 

We decided to start trying for a baby in the middle of 2016 (with a very, very casual approach). We continued to travel around Australia visiting friends, not really worrying about getting pregnant. After about 18 months of trying we decided to head to the doctors for a little chat. We were referred to Dr Sides at Compass fertility. She was incredible and about another 18 months later, we were pregnant with our little boy. 

I had a relatively smooth pregnancy. With only a few weird things (3 placenta’s) thrown in to the mix. 

What has your feeding journey been like? 

Feeding was incredible difficult for me.

For as long as I can remember, I have been anxious at the thought of breastfeeding. I’m really not sure why BUT it has always freaked me out. Not other people breastfeeding but me haha. My pregnancy was managed through the Fetal Medicine Unit (FMU) at the Canberra Womens and Childrens Hospital. I mentioned my feeding concerns to them as I really wanted to be able to feed my son. They fully supported me and offered me a few appointments with a lactation consultant. She was incredible. Really put my mind at ease and showed me a few different techniques I could apply when feeding.

So Rem was born.

I ended up having to have a general anaesthetic so couldn’t try to feed or perform skin to skin until several hours later. I had a lot of issues with my milk not coming in. By the 3rd day in hospital I had still not had any milk arrive and remy was dropping quite a lot of weight, so we went onto mix feeding. Luckily remy took the bottle straight away and had no problems at all with formula.

We continued to mix feed in hospital and had another visit from the lactation consultant. She tried a few new techniques to make it more comfortable. On day 5 in hospital we discovered remy had a tongue tie, this was cut to see if it would help him feed.  I started pumping for several hours a day to try and express as much milk as possible. I tried the medication, cookies and all the old wives tales, but still had no luck producing extra milk.

By the end of 12 weeks I was only producing around 100 mls after a whole day of pumping, it was just not sustainable. So we switched to 100% formula and I never looked back. I will never put myself through something like that again. Fed is best whether it is from formula or breastmilk. 

What has sleep been like in your house? 

Haha sleep…. Kidding.

Sleep has been up and down. Remy was never a good napper. He used to have 2 tiny (40 min max) naps a day. At 10 months he cut down to one big sleep and it was like heaven. In November he cut his nap (most days) and this has been a game changer for our house. If rem doesn’t nap he is usually in bed by 7:30-8. If it’s a nap day he won’t go to sleep until 9:45-10pm, eeekkk.

The hardest bits… 

Oh 3 year olds are fun, haha.

At the start the hardest part was having to feed Remy every 2 hours due to his weight loss. And of course my milk not coming in. Then remy suffered from severe constipation issues (he still suffers) I think now the hardest bit is the big emotions of a toddler and trying to help him through it. I also feel extreme guilt leaving him at daycare. (I cannot do the drop off’s)

The best bits… 

Oh my gosh, seeing this beautiful little boy is just everything. I love the cuddles and big cheek kisses. There is nothing better than when Remy runs over to us and says he loves you. Or every single time he says ‘hey mumma’. It’s so special given how hard we tried for a baby.

How do you make time for yourself? 

Exercise is very important to me and trying to keep on top of my health issues. I get up early 3/4 mornings a week and head to a Hiit Class or a walk around the lake. I have a few different Spotify playlists to get me ready for the day and I’m off. I also love a good trash tv show, adult cartoon or lame Adam Sandler movie.

What’s next for you and your family? 

We were lucky enough to purchase our dream house in December 2022 and we have just moved in. We will spend the next few months really settling and enjoying life in a big house with a yard. Having MS has made our decision into having another baby a little more difficult.

We have to plan to take me off medication for at least 6 months before trying to conceive again. It’s something myself and Brent need to have a big think about and weigh up all the risks associated with taking me off medication.

I would love another child however if it’s not meant to be for me, at least I have one gorgeous, happy and healthy little boy.

If you could talk to your pre baby/kid self, what advice would you give? 

Give yourself a break. Enjoy every moment.

Don’t stress about them eating, sleeping, walking, crawling, toilet training, etc. It will all work out and they will do things in their own time.  

(Also the washing can wait) You deserve to be happy and enjoy the short time they are babies.