Rachel Sharwood
Tell us a bit about yourself?
My name is Rachel and I'm 28 years old, born and bred in Canberra and first time mum to our son, Flynn. I am a self-proclaimed chocoholic, cocktail lover and homebody who loves nothing more than spending time with my family and close friends. I would rather spend a Saturday night in watching movies with my hubby to be or sitting around laughing the night away with my closest girlfriends. My partner Chris and I have been together for three years and are engaged to be married in April 2022.
What were you doing before babies?
Most of my time was spent working full time in the public service and getting ready to move into our first home. On top of that, I was spending my weekends at my parents coast house, home decor shopping, catching up with friends for brunch and on the odd occasion hitting the gym.
How did you come to be a mum?
My partner and I were so blessed to fall pregnant quite quickly. I had a a pretty text book pregnancy the whole way through. A little morning sickness in the beginning and some pain and discomfort towards the end, but I feel lucky to have had a pretty easy pregnancy. We were told that Flynn was sitting in the perfect position from around 34 weeks onwards which was great news. At 40 weeks pregnant I was feeling well and truly over being pregnant and so excited to meet our son! Another week went by and so I was placed on the list to be induced from 41 weeks. On the Tuesday morning (41 weeks) I woke up and started to feel some tightness and pain which continued throughout the day and so I was finally in labour. My partner and I monitored and recored each contraction until at 4:30pm it was finally time to head to the hospital. We made our way to the hospital (which if you have ever had to labour in the car, feels like hours instead of minutes). I was only 2cm dilated when I arrived however, chose to stay and not return home as the pain was already starting become unbearable. After 8 hours of active labour I asked for an Epidural. Finally, at 1:30am the anaesthetist came and inserted my Epidural which was the greatest relief. Flynn was monitored on and off and within an hour I had gone from 3cm dilated to 9cm dilated. The midwives told me that we would start pushing at 6am however, ten minutes into pushing the midwife realised my Epidural line had become disconnected and so I had to continue on with it quickly wearing off. After an hour I could feel everything again and was feeling totally exhausted. They realised Flynn had turned face up and was ultimately stuck. The doctor tried to rotate him a few times however, the decision was made to use the vacuum to assist in his delivery. Flynn made his entrance into the World at 7:48am on Wednesday morning. They lifted him onto my chest and I was filled with a huge sense of relief and overwhelming love. After only a minute or two though, the midwives realised he wasn't clearing the mucous from his lungs and so he had to be taken to NICU. My partner went with him and I was left in the delivery suite alone, exhausted and spreadeagled (very flattering). I just lay there and cried. I didn't get to see him again until lunchtime which was really heartbreaking, terrifying and lonely to be sitting in the delivery room alone and wondering if our baby boy was going to be okay. Thankfully, he recovered well and shortly after lunchtime I finally got to see him and have our first proper cuddles. Later that afternoon we were released from NICU to the post birth suites and I got to soak up all the newborn cuddles. We got to take him home the following day.
What has your feeding journey been like?
To sum up feeding in one word for us was HORRENDOUS. Breastfeeding was so much harder and more painful than I had anticipated. Flynn was screaming and distressed for the best part of the first four days until we finally decided to pump. I discovered that I was barely producing milk and so after consulting with our midwife we agreed the best thing to do was top him up with formula. He was a totally different baby once he was actually satisfied and full. By then, my nipples were basically shredded and bleeding every time I tried to feed. I decided to pump instead and bottle feed Flynn from then on and to top up with formula if he needed. Little did I know how exhausting exclusively pumping was; by the time I fed Flynn, changed him and settled him and then pumped for the next feed it was time to start the whole routine again. I was feeling like a total failure as a mum. This continued until he was three months old and we finally made the decision to exclusively formula feed him from then on. My partner, family and friends were so supportive with our decision. I didn't think I would feel so judged and ashamed to formula feed but with social media and health resources pushing for breastfeeding, I couldn't help but feel like a bad mum who was making a choice for her son that may be detrimental. It took me a while to push those thoughts aside and know that I had made the right decision for our family. I was much happier, calmer and finally getting some rest.
What has sleep been like in your house?
We have been really lucky with our gorgeous boy. He has been a great sleeper for the most part and we really can’t complain. From around 6 months, we began some gentle sleep training which allowed us to use gentle techniques to teach him to learn to self. He has been very independent in the sleep department which was bittersweet. He happily goes into his bed and will put himself to sleep without any intervention. Once he started independently settling I craved those snuggly days where he would happily fall asleep on my chest and I realised my baby was no longer a newborn.
The hardest bits…
I unfortunately suffered with Post Partum Depression and anxiety in the first three months. I found myself to be a totally different person during that time. I was tired and anxious all day and night and stuck in a rut of being angry with myself for our feeding journey troubles and frustrated that I did not feel like myself. The person who suffered the most though was my beautiful partner. I was the hardest on him and in return he was so supportive and patient. It was my mum who came over one day and sat us both down and told me she had booked an appointment for me to go and discuss things with my doctor. I was placed on anti-depressents and within a few weeks I finally felt like myself again. I feel so embarrassed that I couldn't fix or control my emotions on my own but I knew that I needed help. From then on everything started to get better and I really began enjoying being a new mum.
The best bits…
Where do I start; even through all the hard parts of motherhood, I cant believe how much of myself I found by becoming a mum. Looking into that tiny little face every day just brings so much joy to our lives. He really is the light of lives and we can't imagine life any other way. Flynn is full of energy and has the the most fun loving personality. I love being a mum, even with all its struggles, it really is the best thing in the world.
How do you make time for you?
We will normally head out for a walk or bike ride to get some fresh air and it's a wonderful reset. I catch up with girlfriends or family on the weekends now that I am back at work and who doesn't love a trip to Freedom or Kmart? Once Flynn has gone to bed for the night I enjoy watching a little trashy television while doing a face mask and it's a nice way to just switch off for the day.
What’s next for you and your family?
We are currently shopping for a larger home, preparing for our upcoming wedding, planning a honeymoon to have some family time away and then hopefully we will be able to give Flynn a sibling in the next few years.
A piece of advice for our readers?
It's okay to take time for yourself and ask for a break, just because you are a mum, doesn't mean you have to do it all. Create boundaries for yourself and your family where you feel you need to and you don't have to have it all together all the time. Take the time to recovery mentally and physically and take the time to bond with your new bundle of joy; the housework can wait.