kylie bickerton

Tell us a bit about yourself?

I’m a 35 year old mum of two Brody (5y) and Ava (19m). My husband Pete and I got together in 2009 and have been married for 8 years. We have two fur babies, Cooper (11y Japanese Spitz) and Koby (10y Cavoodle). I love cooking, baking, throwing parties but nothing more than being with me family.

What were you doing before babies?

I worked as a property manager. I started my real estate career in 2008 and have only recently resigned to be a stay at home mum. On the weekends, I loved going out with the girls, we travelled, went away a lot.

How did you come to be a mum?

Although we weren’t actively trying, we stopped being careful about 6 months before our wedding. We didn’t have any luck, no honeymoon baby like we had joked about many times so decided to see a specialist. We started assisted fertility treatments and were put in the unexplained infertility category. We tried chlomid tablets for 3 months followed by 16 medicated ovulation induction cycles. There was no change of protocol and we just went along for the ride thinking our specialist was doing all they could and we were just unlucky. A friend convinced us to get a second opinion and I was then diagnosed with PCOS which on my ultrasound images was very clear. We were angry that this hadn’t been picked up before. Our new specialist moved us straight to IVF as we had already spent the last 3 years trying and done so many ovulation induction cycles. We were incredibly lucky to conceive our gorgeous Brody on our first round of IVF, my first ever pregnancy.

When we were finally ready to try again, Our specialist appointment was in a couple of weeks so I had a new set of screening tests done. For some weird reason I thought I’d take a pregnancy test the following day. I didn’t know if I was late as my cycle was all over the shop. We got the biggest surprise of our lives conceiving naturally with Ava.

What has your feeding journey been like?

I had a really difficult time with Brody. He came out non responsive so I didn’t get to hold him for almost 2 days. He was transferred via the NETS team from Queanbeyan Hospital to TCH NICU/SCN where he stayed for 6 days. My milk didn’t come in till day 10, but it was never good enough and he wasn’t gaining enough weight. We mix fed for the first month, I exclusive breast fed for about a month before moving back to mix feeding and by 4 months he was fully formula fed. Once I made the change, he thrived. With Ava, I had an incredibly fast labour (41 minutes including the placenta 😳 luckily I was already in hospital), she was born almost 6 weeks early and was also taken straight to NICU. When I was left sitting alone in the birthing suite, I started hand expressing and to my shock, colostrum started coming straight out on my second squeeze. I pumped around the clock at her bedside and throughout the night at home to keep the good stuff coming and it did although it wasn’t easy. Both kids had tongue ties so it was so painful until that was sorted, I had vasospasms, nipple thrush from the trauma and damage before the tongue ties were sorted, mastitis, an over supply and engorgement with Ava. I fed her until she was 11 months.

What has sleep been like in your house?

My kids were polar opposites! Brody didn’t sleep well at all and didn’t sleep through the night until he was 3.5 years. We went to QEII twice, had sleep consultants, tried routines, every sleep aid on the market, we literally spent thousands of dollars trying to get him to sleep and nothing worked until he was ready. Ava on the other hand was a dream, she was in a routine and sleeping through the night 7-6 or 7 from about 6 months old. She has an off night here or there but that’s usually associated with something developmental or teething/sickness but is otherwise my favourite child when it comes to sleep!

The hardest bits…

Being a NICU mum both times. We’ve decided two is enough for us because we wouldn’t be able to cope doing it again. There is nothing harder than not being able to hold your baby for days after you’ve given birth, to have to walk out of the hospital empty handed and leave them in the care of other people when they should be home with you. To watch them hooked up to machines helping them breath, only being able to hold them when you’re told it’s ok to do so.

We were home for two weeks after Ava had been discharged before I took her back to ED as she seemed to be struggling to breath. She was diagnosed with Congenital Lobar Emphysema and required life saving surgery to have half her lung removed. She returned to NICU before and after her surgery, she was placed on a ventilator to breath for her and heavily sedated. I couldn’t feed her, we couldn’t hold her for 9 days until the sedation was lifted and the chest drain was removed. Watching your tiny 2kg baby fight for her life and all you can do is sit by her bedside, wait and express for when she comes to was the hardest thing we’ve been through as a family.

The best bits…

Having only the two, I’ve got to experience my firsts with Brody and my lasts with Ava. The bond that the two of them have and the love they share is my favourite thing of all time. I’m sure there will be times in the future when things aren’t so happy between them but for the most part, we are so lucky now.

The other thing is the friendships I’ve made. Some of my best friends I met through my mothers group with Brody. I was also lucky enough to share a room in SCN when Ava was in with the most incredible lady who is such a dear friend. We sat there all day long holding our girls on our chests chatting and laughing the day away with each other. Our girls were actually due on the same day which makes it even more special.

How do you make time for you?

I’m not very good at this! I am really good at putting everyone else before me and burning the candle at both ends. I do get my hair done every 8 weeks and a pedicure every month though. Once a year I go on a girls weekend too. We are off to Lake Crackenback in a few weeks time with my mum friends!

What’s next for you and your family?

I had to give up my career last November at the recommendation of Ava’s paediatrician. She contracted RSV at daycare and spent almost 2 weeks back in hospital and NICU as her little lungs couldn’t cope. We don’t know if she will be able to go back into care or if I’ll have to wait until she starts school. So for now we just take things day by day. We are heading off for a family holiday in QLD later this week. My husbands business is going so well and we are so grateful for how hard he works allowing me to be able to stay home with Ava and do the school drop off and pick up for Brody