Lauren Brunskill

Tell us a bit about yourself?

I’m Lauren, mum to 10 month old Nadia. I’m Canberra born and raised, work in media and communications and have a little side gig with two friends Yasmin and Krissy running Cbrmamas (you may have heard of it). I’m also a dog mum to my two Boxers Bentley and Archie who now feel like my two older and more responsible kids…

What were you doing before babies/children?

Sleeeeeeping! So much sleeping. Growing up in Canberra I have a lot of family and friends here so my life was very full of socialising, travelling, and being out and about. I work in media and communications so my role prior to going on maternity leave was working in the team managing media for the COVID-19 response, so safe to say it was busy!

How did you become a mum?

My husband and I always knew we wanted kids, so after we got engaged in 2019 we thought we’d get the wedding done then start trying for a baby. Then covid arrived and kept throwing our wedding plans in the bin, so after picking our third wedding date and locking that in at the end of 2021 we thought stuff it we’re sick of waiting, so started trying a few months before the wedding. We were lucky that it only took a few months before I saw those two little lines come up on a test!

What has your feeding journey been like?

“Journey” is a great word to describe what feeding has been like for us… and it’s certainly been a long journey. I knew I really wanted to give breastfeeding a go and that it would take some work to figure out how to make it work. After Nadia was born, I had home visits and support from the midwives checking in and helping me figure out what the hell I was doing with feeding.

I think it was by week 2 I was in so much pain every time I had to feed, my boobs were red raw and every latch/feed could have made me cry. I kept going thinking it was going to take some time before they toughened up and then we’d get to a good place, but that ‘good place’ felt like it was just getting further and further away. I was so desperate for help I reached out to a lactation consultant (shout out to Anne Endres - I honestly don’t know what I would have done without her help) who came around and picked up straight away that something wasn’t right and suspected Nadia had a tongue tie. We started by doing mouth exercises to relieve the tension in her mouth first, but eventually we found she had a posterior tongue tie and her weight and growth was dropping so I was pumping outside of normal feeds and offering top up feeds with the expressed milk via a bottle to get her weight up (I have since learnt this is called triple feeding). After having the tongue tie fixed, her weight and milk intake got much better as her latch improved significantly.

During the early weeks of figuring out all the latching issues, my right nipple had sustained so much damage that I literally had a chunk of it missing - it looked like a crater on the moon. The pain of latching on this side even with the tongue tie fixed was unbearable for a long time so in an effort to rest that side and let it heal, I was pumping most feeds from that side and giving it to her via a bottle. I tried every single breastfeeding product to help with the pain, but the damage was way beyond any of these. I think it was around the 5/6 month mark that my nipple had FINALLY healed with the help of an LED laser treatment that I was doing at home three times a day to repair the skin. I am grateful that at this point, feeding got a lot easier for us both and I’ve been able to continue our breastfeeding journey. I will take a lot of lessons out of this in future, including not putting so much pressure on myself to make it work if it's just not happening.

What has sleep been like in your house?

Ahhh sleep, it’s all such a blur! I remember prior to giving birth I really wanted to make sure the baby was sleeping in the bassinet and not with us (LOLLLLLLL). Sleep has been not great, but also not bad. Nadia’s always slept in 2/3 hour blocks overnight but I very quickly relaxed about any expectations and let her sleep either in the bassinet and in bed with us. We were just so exhausted and she was a much better sleeper with us and it was more about survival to us at that point. Eventually we moved Nadia into her own room and cot and things were stable until about the 8 month mark, and I specifically remember it was the day she started crawling, that we really hit a rough patch. I’m not sure whether it was a sleep regression, extreme separation anxiety kicking in, new skills or what but sleep and that period got really tough and it felt like a near impossible battle to get her down and out of our arms. We sought some help and got stricter about not bringing her into our bed and committed to resettling in her cot, and after a long few weeks this phase seemed to pass and we’re starting to see a big improvement and a few more nights where she sleeps through.

The hardest bits…

The mental load/mum guilt/constant second guessing myself… Am I doing enough, I feel like I’m doing it wrong, why isn’t this working, I should be doing more of x, y, z, is she happy etc… I am getting better at letting go of any expectations I had of anything, going with the flow and finding our own groove. In the early months I remember stressing about all of this and a friend said to me, ‘You are enough. Whatever you are doing, you are enough for her,’ and that’s always stuck with me, so I am saying this here for any other mum/parent who is still reading this and needs to hear this too.

The best bits…

Her little personality coming to life! I absolutely love seeing this little person flourish and grow into her own, she’s so fun and makes us laugh every day! We’re also so lucky to have a really great network of family and friends around, so seeing her grow up with so many people who love her is just the best. Oh, and also watching Bluey.

How do you make time for yourself?

This is something I’m still working on doing and getting better at, even if it’s just getting out of the house for an hour on my own and listening to a podcast or music uninterrupted during the week. My girlfriends and I try to get out for regular baby-free dinners and catch ups which are an awesome mental reset and break.

What’s next for you and your family?

This sounds cliché, but I am really just trying to enjoy where we are at now and be as present as possible. I can’t believe how fast time is going and how quickly she’s grown, so I’m really trying to make the most of the time we have together as a family of three.

If you could talk to your pre baby/kid self, what advice would you give?

It will be so hard, but you’re way more capable than you ever thought you were. It also goes by so fast, don't feel guilty for holding and cuddling the baby as much as you want to and know the hard days never last.