Tell us a bit about yourself?

Hi I’m Imogen. I’m 27 years old. My husband and I bought a house in Queanbeyan 3 years ago but I have lived in Canberra basically my whole life besides for a brief stint up in Ballina and Lennox Heads when I was younger. I’m one of five kids and have been raised by my mum who is honestly superwoman in my eyes.

In 2017 I married my best friend but we have been together since 2010 (when he asked me out on Christmas Day so he wouldn’t forget the date). I met Ethan in the garden section at Kmart back when I was a super cool 13 year old hanging out at the Hyperdome during the school holidays. I actually was dating one of his friends at the time but a few years later we were both single and started hanging out and haven’t been able to get rid of him since!

What were you doing before babies?

Before babies, I was living at home and working in before and after school care. I loved my job and it enabled me to earn money while I obtained my teaching degree at ACU. After graduating, I dabbled in relief work while taking on a more senior role at my after school care but my heart was yearning to have my own classroom, as much as the thought terrified me. One day in 2017, about two weeks before I was getting married, my best friend Ness called me and asked if I wanted a job. Apparently the principal was standing behind her while she was on the phone and asked her to call me. They needed a new preschool teacher but Ness was primary trained and didn’t have the right qualifications but knew I did. In what was an absolute whirlwind, I applied and received my very first full time teaching position which turned out to be my absolute dream job at my dream school.

How did you come to be a mum?

I honestly thought my journey to become a mum was going to be far more complicated than it was. I have a pretty severe case of endometriosis which I was diagnosed with between 20-21 after fighting with my doctors for 10 years about my period pain. I remember having to spell out ‘endometriosis’ to my GP for a referral and I knew at that moment that there was a severe lack of knowledge about the disease which was pretty bloody disheartening. Eventually I found my specialist who, after one scan, told me straight away I had stage four endo which was not only affecting my uterus but also had stuck one of my ovaries to my bowel with endo nodules. Upon learning this news, my doctor told me that my best chance of conceiving naturally would be trying to get pregnant straight away, or straight after my endo surgery which was in 2016. Although it was not ideal in regards to our financial situation and our future plans of getting married, buying a house etc, I had always wanted to be a “young mum”. Ethan had a much harder time accepting the news though and we actually separated while we figured out what we both wanted. After a few weeks and a LOT of talking, we realised that although it was earlier than we planned, it doesn’t change how we feel about each other and we decided we would start trying for a baby as soon as we were married, which was both important to us. Anyway, turns out after all this, I fell pregnant with Remi three months after our wedding after trying for 2 months (which I put down to my surgery as chances of conceiving raises to around 60% after surgery). Thinking the first time must of just been a fluke, after trying for only one month, we fell pregnant with Louie. I thank my lucky starts that our journey to conceive was relatively easy and that I am one of the fortunate ones as many endo sufferers won’t have the success we did.

What has your feeding journey been like?

Feeding Remi was a dream. She latched basically straight out of the womb! I remember some initial pain right at the start but other than that, we never had a problem. I went back to work full time when she was 12 months old but we continued to breastfeed when we could and we lasted until she was 22 months. Louie has been a slightly different story. Due to spending time in nicu at birth and being tube fed, as well as an almost 100% tongue tie, feeding has been a bit difficult. He continues to put on weight regardless but he has a rubbish latch and I have a bit of an oversupply problem so in between him detaching all the time and getting sprayed by my firehose letdown, covering us both in breastmilk, it can get frustrating at times. But I still feel lucky to be able to breastfeed both my babies.

What has sleep been like in your house?

Again, Rem really fucked us over in the sleep department by lulling us into a false sense of security. She started sleeping through the night around 4-5 months, consistently from around 7-8 months. It was tricky at the start, as with all newborns, and I remember having pretty shocking nighttime anxiety starting in the evening and leading up until I went to bed. It was this weird, foreboding feeling I would get knowing that my night was going to be full of waking up and worrying about her and not making noise and getting embarrassing if she cried too much if we had people over etc. I’ve always been an anxious person but I remember that was pretty next level. It definitely got better as she got older though. Now that we have an 8 week old who is colicky and super fussy, we are back to having very broken sleeps however the anxiety I felt the first time around has gone which is nice.

The hardest bits…

Strap in kids, it’s a long one.

The hardest part of parenting for me so far was having my baby whisked away 12 hours after he was born and sitting alone in a hospital with no idea what was going on.

When Louie was born, our little family felt complete. We always talked about 2 being the magic number and when we were told he was a boy, and the look on Ethan’s face when he realised he had a son, it was just perfect. While in recovery, Louie latched straight away and everything seemed to be going so well. My mum even managed to sneak Remi up to our room to meet him as kids weren’t allowed in maternity yet.

Then everything changed. I noticed Louie’s right hand was twitching so slightly it was almost unnoticeable. I showed Ethan and we called the midwife in to have a look and to ask if it was normal. The midwife took one look at him and took off running and my heart sunk. From there we were basically whisked up to NICU and the on call paediatrician met us there a while later. The whole thing seemed like a dream. I was 12 hours post c section and still on some pretty hardcore pain killers and was on my feet for like 8 hours when I should have been lying in bed.

They started throwing around the term “seizures” which I still didn’t think was too bad. As a teacher, I see kids having seizures all the time and know they can lead normal lives. They pumped him full of antibiotics and anti seizure meds and eventually he was transported to Canberra hospital at 5:30am as we were at Calvary. The worst part was that technically I was still a patient at Calvary and they didn’t have a bed for me at TCH yet so I had to watch my less than a day old baby be taken away and I still didn’t know what was going on with him or if he was going to be okay.

Ethan and I went back to my room where we went to sleep for an hour and a half before he drove to TCH to be with Louie. I remember sitting on the edge of the hospital bed on my own, in horrendous pain when a midwife walked in and asked if I was doing okay and I just started bawling my eyes out. I couldn’t get any words out and I remember she said “it’s okay not to be okay right now”. Eventually my mum came and picked me up and we went to TCH on gate leave, hoping they would find me a bed before I had to return to Calvary. At 9pm that night they eventually found me a bed and I was able to stay at TCH. The next day, we found our via MRI that Louie had a stroke at some point around his birth which was causing the seizures. I remember feeling the blood drain from my face and the doctors voice kind of drowned out when he told us. I still thought at this point that nothing was wrong so this was so unexpected.

I remember my mum and sister coming to the hospital and when I went outside to tell them Louie had a stroke, my mum almost had a delayed reaction. Like she was waiting for worse news. I remember she said something along the lines of “is that all? He’s going to be fine!” Apparently she was under the impression from my reaction on the phone earlier that there was a chance he wasn’t going to come home at all. She also said “he’s still Louie, you know? It’s not like you are going to love him any differently” and her almost nonchalant reaction made me feel instantly better.

Louie’s stroke caused damage on the left side of his brain which will most likely impair some motor function on his right side. We are already seeing a wonderful physiotherapist and occupational therapist through the cerebral palsy alliance and although it might be a rough journey ahead, I’m just happy that I’ve still got my baby with me.

The best bits…

The look of pure joy on Rems face when she is experiencing something magical. Or when something makes her laugh, but one of those belly laughs where she has to catch her breath. They are my favourite. But I love so many things about being a mum. I love raising a little sass Queen who knows what she wants and even though it drives me insane some days, I love that she’s going to be confident and assertive. I love when Louie smiles and coos at me, or looks up at me when he’s breastfeeding and just stares at me like I’m his whole world. Or when Rem learns something new and is so incredibly proud of herself, or how she likes to talk to Louie and put his dummy in and sing the ABC song when he’s crying. I love all these moments and millions more.

How do you make time for you?

I don’t. Two kids is next level, and people with more than that are honestly incredible and brave. I mean, right now I’m writing this while lying on the floor trying to interact with Louie and do his exercises while Rem is sitting on my back because she doesn’t like to miss out. It’s pandemonium here most days now. I used to love reading in the bath but by nighttime I’m so tired I can’t do anything but collapse into bed. I know the time of them being so small will pass and I don’t want to wish the time away so for now I’ll take all the overwhelming love I can get. Also, sometimes I’ll run to woolies with no kids when Ethan is home, which feels like a mini getaway.

What’s next for you and your family?

I guess with the future uncertain with Lou mans CP diagnosis, we are just taking one day at a time. I’ll head back to work next year and Remi will be in preschool and we will just keep on keeping on. Hopefully we can sell our little house and upgrade to a bigger place at some point too. But for now, our little first home is perfect for us and where we are in our journey.