Erina Mikus

Tell us a bit about yourself:

I’m a 32 year old, mother to a beautiful 11 month old girl named Ivy. I am a lecturer at the University of Canberra and PhD student so life is busy. I am also married to my husband, Joe who is my soul mate.

What were you doing before motherhood?:

I have always been someone who never sat still. Having worked since I was 14, I always found myself busy, whether in my career or day-to-day life.
Leading up to pregnancy I had just started my PhD which looks at police investigative conduct and missing persons cases. I am deeply passionate about my work as a lecturer, which is where my topic came to rise.
At home, Joe and I are devoted to 3 beautiful dogs and spend our downtime playing video games, watching TV and renovating our house. Truly, our life never stops!

How did you become a mum?

Joe and I have always wanted kids. We have been together for 11 years but marriage wasn’t a big deal for us, kids were though.
During COVID we made the choice to get married. We had a small wedding in New Zealand (where my whanau are from) followed by a big reception here in Canberra. It was honestly bliss.
Shortly after our wedding (and about 10 renovations later…) we started trying for children. We had a miscarriage in November 2022 and eventually fell pregnant with Ivy in August 2023. My pregnancy was not easy especially in the first trimester, having HG, unexplained bleeding and to top it off, Ivy was 2 weeks overdue. Would I change it for the world? Absolutely not (except maybe the HG).

What has your feeding journey been like?

I love this question, truthfully? My feeding journey with Ivy has been a roller coaster.
I never wanted to breastfeed but due to the way Ivy was born, I started breastfeeding her and now we are 11 months strong.
For some reason breastfeeding made me anxious, I can’t explain it but it really worried me and I had made the decision early on to formula feed her or pump and bottle feed, but it all went out the window when Ivy made her way into the world the way she did.
Ivy was born at home, in our ensuite, she was not an intentional home birth by any stretch but my midwife sadly didn’t believe I was in advanced labour until it was far too late. When I first held Ivy after she was born, I heard my midwife tell to put her straight on my breast. I did, and within seconds Ivy latched. It felt so natural for us and I remember in that instant being at peace with wherever this journey was going to take us.
It definitely turned out to be a positive as Ivy has never really taken to formula meaning I have to pump for her when she’s at daycare.
I’ve had a few ups and downs with supply issues and now take medication to help me. It’s made a huge difference and Ivy is a very happy and healthy little girl.

What has sleep been like in your house?

I have one rule about sleep, and that’s to never discuss sleep or how it is in our household.

The hardest bits...

I sometimes struggle with my birth and listening to others who have really beautiful stories. While I am immensely proud of having a medication free labour, I often reflect on the first few weeks where I struggled to bond with Ivy and blamed/ blame myself for a lot when it comes to certain aspects with her. Like if she’s noisy in a supermarket, I always apologise to those around me. I know she is a baby but this is what I have learnt is a trauma response and something I am working through.

I am also hyper vigilant about her development, again because there was no medical support with my birth so all I could do is trust my body knew what it was doing. Ivy is absolutely perfect but I think this will always weigh on my mind.

The best bits...

Ivy is the light of my life. She is so full of character, sass and is the funniest little baby I have ever met. Watching her meet every milestone is absolutely incredible. I love the way she explores the universe and is so inquisitive as well as the love she has for Joe and I. I also love seeing Joe excel time and time again as a dad. He is unshakable in every aspect of life and we are so lucky  

How do you make time for yourself?

I really enjoy sitting in our bedroom when the world is asleep and for whatever reason I’m awake. I listen to the gentle sound of the traffic and relish in the stillness of night. It keeps me grounded and reminds me of the simple things life has to offer.
I also enjoy the odd smutty romance novel.

What's next for you and your family?

Joe and I would love another child. I am an only child and while I had a beautiful childhood, I would have loved a sibling.

If you could talk to your pre motherhood self, what advice would you give?

Advocate for yourself. You spent years in court as a lawyer ensuring your client got the best outcome so do the same thing for yourself!