Andrea
Tell us a bit about yourself?
Hi CBR Mamas! My name is Andrea. I am mama to 4-year-old Caspar and a Defence spouse. We moved to Canberra three years ago on a posting and I’m loving it here. Originally from Cairns, I am a Far North Queensland girl through and through, so Canberra has been a huge adjustment for me (mostly acclimatising to the endless winters). Like many Canberrans, I work in the Public Service and I’m loving the work-life balance it affords. I love eating out and lucky for me, Canberra has an awesome food culture. Though I do not get out as much as I’d like, I’m always on the hunt for child-friendly cafés and restaurants. Please hit me with your recommendations mamas!
What were you doing before babies/children?
Before babies I was working as a Product Manager in tourism up in Cairns. I had lots of time to explore my backyard, travel and nurture my love of food and café culture. I would regularly eat out with friends and record my food adventures on Instagram (yep, I am one of those people… taking pics of their food). My husband soon became a willing participant in my hobby and his hashtag became #my_partner_turned_me_into_a_foodie_and_now_im_a_fatty. To balance out all the food, I used to box for fitness and frequently shake my booty at Zumba (something I need to get back into).
How did you come to be a mum?
Given our age (37 years), we decided to start a family as soon as we got back from our honeymoon. We fell pregnant quickly but unfortunately suffered a miscarriage at 12 weeks. This changed me in a way I could never imagine. Grief from pregnancy loss is a unique kind of grief and it took me a while to work through it. We fell pregnant again almost immediately and I am so grateful for our rainbow baby, Caspar. He most definitely healed my heart. I am now 41 years and currently pregnant with our second rainbow baby after suffering another miscarriage last year. We are cautiously optimistic about this pregnancy and Caspar is very excited for a little brother or sister.
What has your feeding journey been like?
Our feeding journey did not have a great start. Caspar had a low birth weight due to Intrauterine Growth Restriction (IUGR) and was in Special Care. On top of that Caspar was also diagnosed with a severe tongue tie. He could not latch at all. For his first four days Caspar was tube fed. By the time his tongue tie was released, my breasts were already incredibly sore from hand expressing as much colostrum as I could for him. We continued to mix feed, but I never made enough to transition to exclusively breast feed. By four months I stopped lactating completely. We were totally unprepared for the challenges our feeding journey presented as first-time parents. After initially feeling so much guilt at my failings, I came to the realisation how harmful the “breast is best” mentality is to mothers struggling with breastfeeding. Formula feeding meant that Caspar rapidly gained weight and was healthy. His low birth weight quickly became a forgotten concern. We did what worked best for us.
What has sleep been like in your house?
We established a great sleep routine at around 12 weeks which continued right through until we transitioned Caspar from the cot to his big boy bed. Now lack of sleep has become the norm.
The hardest bits…
Toilet training!!! We are still struggling with toilet training at 4 years. For a long time, we couldn’t understand why we were failing at this when so many other parents seem to find this part easy. We have recently become NDIS participants to address early childhood developmental delay. We are currently seeking help from an Occupational Therapist, a Paediatric Physiotherapist and a Psychologist. With so many appointments and much work to be done, we are feeling a little overwhelmed. Another parent who is much further along on their NDIS journey recently told me, “don’t think of it as a delay, he just learns in a different way”.
The best bits…
Watching them grow. I sometimes look at my son and think, “Wow! I made that!”.
How do you make time for yourself?
My most favourite thing at the moment is to go to a café by myself and enjoy a nice, quiet brunch. Though I do not get to do this very often, my husband is very good at recognising when I need some mummy-me time to fill my cup.
What’s next for you and your family
Preparing for the arrival of a new baby. Bubs is due in July.
If you could talk to your pre baby/kid self, what advice would you give?
Do what works best for you and your family. Not all the advice works, and that’s OK. Just keep trying to find that one thing that does work.