Natasha Culley

Tell us a bit about yourself?

My name is Tash. I’m 29 years old and married to the sweetest man and we have two beautiful little girls, Aurora who is 3 and Belle who is 9 months old.

What were you doing before babies?

I have a few trades up my sleeve, makeup artist, hair dresser and dental nurse. I don’t think I’ve found what I want to do when I grow up yet.

How did you come to be a mum?

I’ve always loved babies and couldn’t wait to have kids once we were married, Aurora was born about a year later and once she turned one we started trying for another.

What has your feeding journey been like?

I really struggled with breast feeding Aurora, it definitely didn’t come naturally to us. I ended up formula feeding her after 4 months of pain and tears, it was the best thing for us. Breast feeding Belle has been a wonderful experience and we are still going 9 months on. She is a boobie monster that girl!

What has sleep been like in your house?

We are very lucky that our girls have both been pretty good sleepers from early on.

The hardest bits…

I have always struggled with my mental health but during my pregnancies with both girls I was extremely anxious that something would happen to my babies while I was carrying them. Aurora’s birth was so quick and easy, and my pregnancy with Belle was straight forward and we were anticipating another quick and easy birth but all my fears seemed to come true when she was born.

Belle had her umbilical cord wrapped and knotted around her neck and was stuck in the posterior position in the birth canal, once her head was born her cord constricted around her neck and cut her oxygen supply off. She wasn’t breathing so they resuscitated her then rushed her away with my terrified husband. I’ve never experienced anything quite as horrible as laying in that hospital bed alone, without my baby and not knowing if she was okay.

Belle was transferred from Calvary to the Canberra Hospital NICU within a few hours as they were worried about organ and brain damage due to the lack of oxygen, so she was cooled for the next 72 hours with a special hypothermic treatment that can slow down or stop brain damage. She came off the cooling treatment with no seizures or abnormal brain activity and was able to come out for cuddles and breast feeds, we were all so positive that she had come out of it all with no damage.

When she was 5 days old they did a MRI and our world came crashing down. We were shown a picture of her brain with 5 large black spots and all I heard from the Drs was ‘brain tissue death’ and I just went into a hysterical state. All I was thinking was that this was my fault, I was carrying her in my body so it was my job to get her out safely. The guilt was and still is horrendous to deal with.

After 10 days in the NICU we were sent home with Belle off her feeding tube and everything, with a list of services and appointments we had to further care for her and her HIE (Hypoxic Ischemic Encephalopathy) diagnosis .

After 3 long anxious months we had an assessment with Belle’s physio therapist that can determine the risk a child has of having Cerebral Palsy and amazingly Belle was taken out of the ‘high risk‘ category. With brain injuries like Belle’s it’s hard to rule anything out until she gets older and develops more but she is now 9 months old and just blowing us away with her progress and determination to do anything she sets her mind to.

The best bits…

The little things like sitting at the dinner table together and having the girls giggling hysterically at each other.

How do you make time for yourself?

I love to go to bed early and read a good book!

What’s next for you and your family?

I would love more babies but I don’t know if I can move past the trauma of what happened to Belle. Right now we are happy and just very grateful being a family of 4.

A piece of advice for our readers?

Try not to be too hard on yourselves Mama’s, we are all doing our best.