Tell us a bit about yourself?

I’m one of those lifelong Canberrans! I’m a stay at home mum to a 4 year old daughter and 18 month old son, and I own a small business making personalised crystal jewellery (@mayfredjewels).

What were you doing before babies?

The pre-mum me seems such a distant memory! I used to play in a covers band called CoverArt, keyboard and backup vocals was my jam. I worked in online communications in the nonprofit sector before my daughter was born. I was a tutor at the Australian Girls Choir just before my son was born. I studied law/communications at UC and music performance at CIT. I feel like I’ve dabbled in lots of things, trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up (still figuring it out).

How did you come to be a mum?

We were married for nearly six years before trying to fall pregnant. We were trying to find the right time in our busy lives, but in hindsight I wonder how I could’ve thought I could plan such things! It is not lost on me that it was a huge blessing to become pregnant not long after trying, though sadly we lost our first baby in the early weeks. It was a bittersweet miracle to fall pregnant again so soon after this loss, to go through a pregnancy with gestational diabetes followed by a tiring 28 hour labour for a surprise baby girl. We were blessed to fall pregnant again after our daughter turned two, this time without gestational diabetes and finding out we were having a boy (as our daughter was adamant she was having a sister!). Labour took only 12 hours the second time round.

I can’t help thinking back to both births and marvelling at how mentally strong and capable I was to birth two kids. Me, with a low pain threshold and a fear of blood tests! Both births were the proudest moments of my life. Doing the Calmbirth course for my first and having a doula for my second gave me the best tools and support to have really positive birth experiences. I was empowered, not fearful, and in control over my mindset when not in control of my circumstances. I highly recommend Calmbirth for anyone who is worried about giving birth!

What has your feeding journey been like?

My first was a challenge because I was suffering from this full body rash immediately after giving birth. Nobody seemed to know what it was, and I saw many doctors and OBs and midwives. In the end only one midwife and a skin specialist could identify this condition, PUPPS rash. This impacted my ability and enjoyment to breastfeed my daughter and caused me great stress and suffering. I remember thinking that I preferred to give birth again than to suffer with the itching with no real relief and no end in sight. I was so disheartened when we had to return to hospital due to my daughter’s weight drop. After mix feeding for a week or so, I was determined to breastfeed exclusively despite my health struggles, and I managed to breastfeed my girl till she was just over two.

My second is still breastfeeding and took to it very easily, since I knew exactly what to do the second time round! It was a miracle I didn’t have PUPPS rash after giving birth to him, which most definitely helped in our feeding journey.

What has sleep been like in your house?

I’m writing this at 4am in the morning, so in other words, not great! Both my kids don’t believe in sleep. First time round I just did what I had to survive, and we became cosleepers as a result. My hubby used to say that a butterfly would flap its wings in Tanzania, and my daughter would instantly wake up. She figured out how to sleep through just after two years when I was pregnant again, but unfortunately for me I hardly slept through that pregnancy and first period of quiet nights.

With my second child, sleep has been a struggle. My son is a frequent waker and most unsettled at night time, though better at day time naps and staying asleep when I ninja roll away. So I’ve been a zombie mum for over four years now, and I do wonder if my ability to sleep is broken!

The hardest bits…

• Lack of sleep and energy

• Trying to help my kids through their tantrums when I’m emotionally depleted

• The worries and second guessings of whether I’m doing the right thing, when they’re sick, their future

• Initially, letting go of mess and organisation and plans

• The feelings of loss of self and identity outside of motherhood

The best bits…

• Their unconditional love, the daily hugs and I love you’s

• Seeing my kids playing with each other and being overly affectionate to each other

• Their hilarious jokes and stories

• The new words or ideas that completely take me by surprise (beware: they listen to everything!)

• Their endless giggle-fests

• When they show kindness to each other or another person

How do you make time for you?

I don’t have this one fully figured out yet! Starting MayFred Jewels has been a fun me-only endeavour, I was desperate for the creative outlet. What I’ve learned is most of the time you need to schedule time to yourself in order to make it happen. Say what you need/want, and go have that time without the kids. You won’t regret it, and you’ll want more of it once you’ve had a taste of it!

What’s next for you and your family?

On the family wish list: more space at home, our kids have taken over almost every room! I would love a mum only room filled with my jewellery stock, plants, candles, crystals and my red keyboard, safe from my children’s curious hands. That’s the future goal anyway, whether we move or extend our existing home. Oh and my daughter is desperate for a cat and dog!