Melissa Zaja

Tell us a bit about yourself?

I’m 27, I’ve been married for 3 years this year but I’ve been with my husband (Omar) for 11 years this year and have a wild almost 2 year old daughter, Elliana.

In any of my spare time Im usually with my family or friends or gardening, wishing I was retired already.

I’ve enjoyed spending time at home watching my girl grow and teaching her as much as I can. I work in the public service back to full-time now which is so hard, mum guilt everyday wishing I was spending time with my baby.

What were you doing before babies?

Before babies I had just been married the year before, went on an incredible honeymoon to Europe and in our first home we had bought in Coombs, trying to figure out what career path I wanted to take… side note, still no clue.

After living in our 2 story town house for a year we wanted to get a house with a backyard closer to our family. I wasn’t doing much else other than enjoying time with friends and family as much as I could.

How did you come to be a mum?

I have always wanted babies and we both wanted to be married first. I didn’t think that becoming pregnant would be easy because I have PCOS and Endometriosis and was told by my doctor that I shouldn’t wait to get married and start trying asap but after surgery before my wedding it must have worked because after trying for about 4 months I randomly took a test and was so excited to see a faint second line! Birth was the most insane experience I’ve ever been through, I wish I was more prepared but I’ll know for next time.

My contractions started on Thursday morning but after about an hour they became inconsistent, they continued to be inconsistent and after a chat with the hospital they told me to keep monitoring at home. The next day same thing, the Friday afternoon I spoke to the hospital again who asked me to come in for monitoring at about 4pm, after 2 hours of sitting in a tiny room with a monitor on my belly I looked at my husband in shock and said “my waters just broke”. After chatting with the midwife she asked me to put on a pad so she could monitor it and 2 minutes later green liquid was there (meconium). I was rushed upstairs and induced not long later. After pushing for 2 hours she got stuck with half her head out but luckily with all of the nurses around and the help of my husband and mum pulling my legs, a couple giant pushes later she was here, happy and healthy!

What has your feeding journey been like?

Feeding wasn’t too challenging, at first it was a huge shock and I had absolutely no idea what I was doing but I feel that’s pretty standard for first time mums. But thank goodness for nipple shields, nipple cream and ice packs. After being so stressed out because my daughter wasn’t gaining weight and many commenting on it, I ended up switching to formula at 8 months which had so many challenges as my daughter has a dairy intolerance and only 1 formula worked. Now going strong on solids we are both happier than ever with no issues.

What has sleep been like in your house?

The first year was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to accomplish in my entire life because of the lack of sleep. I love sleep, I could sleep all day if you let me and I was not expecting to be so so so tired, ever.

If you ask my husband he will tell you that she was a good sleeper.. don’t believe him, he slept through the screaming almost every night! Some nights she would wake hourly.

Eventually it got better with the help of white noise, a comforter and some growing.

I don’t know what happened or what exactly changed but it was like she turned 1 and learnt to sleep through like a champ!

The hardest bits…

The lack of sleep, the feeling that I am not doing anything right, the struggle with the way my body now looks in comparison to pre baby and having a baby during Covid and all the restrictions. Looking back I shouldn’t have worried so much about what others thought and the advice they gave but it’s all a learning curve.

The best bits…

Watching this little adorable blob grow into a smart, beautiful, wild little girl who has so much character and being able to teach her all the things she needs to learn and grow is the best. I don’t know how but no matter how cheeky she is, I love her more everyday. The sheer love and innocence from a tiny human is the most incredible thing in the whole world. I now know what my purpose in this life is!

How do you make time for you?

Nowadays time for me is a bit different, it doesn’t happen as often but with the help of my husband or our parents I get to make some time for myself every now and then. I also tend to stay up later at night to keep some time to myself just to unwind. I don’t mind not having much time for me, that hasn’t been an issue just yet.

What’s next for you and your family?

We’ve been trying for another baby for almost a year, hopefully our luck changes and we get to give our girl a little brother or sister. We would love to renovate our house but just living in the moment as much as possible.

A piece of advice for our readers?

This one’s tricky for me, I don’t know where to start but to my friends I usually just say to accept the help when it’s offered & take a break when you can. When looking back I wish I enjoyed the newborn phase more rather than worrying about everyone else and their opinion on how we were doing etc. and I swear by “mothers know best” so trust yourself with YOUR baby.