Tell us a bit about yourself?

I always find this question hard! I think it's because since becoming a Mum, i am not really sure what else to say about myself except that I am a 31 year old mum of 3 beautiful children who I worship and I am married to a great guy who worships us too. I consider myself a very honest and open person.

What were you doing before babies?

In 2013 I graduated from university as a High School Drama/English Teacher and moved back to Canberra to be closer to my little Brother who lives with profound intellectual disabilities and mental illness and his health had taken a bad turn. I fell into a job as a support worker which I instantly fell in love with. Then my husband, Thomas, came into my life late October 2014 when my family was going through the worst of my brother's sickness. Thomas instantly became my little brother's best friend and we were engaged by February 2015 and married the follow year in May. I did a year of teaching before I came back to the Disability sector where I quickly found my passion for advocacy. The idea of being able to help someone have a voice that otherwise wouldn't was something I could get behind.

How did you come to be a mum?

I had just been promoted to Manager in a community organisation, my dream job! Thomas and I were living in a 2 bedroom apartment in Queanbeyan and we knew we wanted to start having kids eventually so I went off the pill , thinking, why not? I've heard it will take quite a while for it to happen and one baby will fit in our apartment no problem! Well... yes, one baby would have been fine but when we fell pregnant and crossed our fingers for one strong beating heartbeat at our 6 week scan and the sonographer announced there were TWO strong heartbeats, my mind literally blew up. Twins! TWINS! IDENTICAL TWINSSSSS!!! We live in a 2 bedroom apartment with a dog, I had a small hatchback car...TWINS! I am not ashamed to say I freaked out a little bit and it was purely because twins were not on either side of our families and I didn't know identical twins were not hereditary. Now I know that everyone has a 1 in 250 chance of identical twins.

Whilst I freaked out at first, within 24 hours of knowing I had 2 little babies growing I had fallen in love and all the practical life stuff became unimportant.

My girls, Riley and Eloise, were born at 35 weeks in February 2018 via emergency caesarean. Both girls were taken to the NICU straight away and I didn't see them or hold them until the following day in the Special Care Nursery. It took me a long time to get over the fact that my birth wasn't what I had expected but I was incredibly grateful I was one of the lucky ones who got to take 2 healthy, perfect little baby girls home. I remember the exact moment I became a Mother. It was the following day after giving birth and I finally got handed Eloise for the first time and she was a tiny 2kg and she lifted her head to look up at me and pushed herself closer into my neck as if she knew who I was and my world shifted. From that moment on nothing else mattered, and I had realised I hadn't truly known the meaning of love until that very moment.

I then became a mum again to my little boy, Nathaniel, 8 months ago via planned caesarean and it was a totally different experience. I got him straight away and we breastfed straight away and I had no idea what I was doing all over again.

What has your feeding journey been like?

With the girls we were tube feeding and bottle feeding whilst I pumped for the first 3-4 weeks and I was making milk like crazy but because they were born a little early they weren't great at latching and my supply dropped significantly and quickly once we got them home after 2 weeks in the nursery. I didn't have the support or knowledge to pursue breastfeeding so we formula fed from 4 or 5 weeks old.

With Nathaniel I was determined to give breastfeeding a good go as I knew this would be my last chance and so I made sure the nurses and midwives spent the time with me to teach me properly in the hospital and actively seeked out support and education from the community nurses and other mums. No one actually told me just how hard breastfeeding would be, I just always thought it was something that either came naturally or it didn't. I never expected to be a prisoner to my couch with my baby attached to me for 1.5 hours every 2-3 hours for the first few weeks. To be honest, I actually found the first 6-8weeks of Nathaniel's life relentless and it took me a little bit to connect with a newborn whilst also helping my 3 year old daughters navigate life with another sibling to share with. But I had it in my head that if I could just get through the first 6 weeks, it would get easier and I would feel the same way about my son as I do about my daughters and I was right.

8 months on and we are still breastfeeding (pumping whilst at work) and I love it and the special one on one time that only I get to have with my little clip on koala.

What has sleep been like in your house?

Well... the twins were actually fantastic sleepers and were sleeping through the night from 5 months old. I think it was because they shared a room and never felt alone. Nathaniel, however, was doing great (if he was in my arms of course) until he hit the 4 month sleep regression and we haven't really recovered from that yet haha. he did also grow 7 teeth in the space of 3 months so that didn't help the poor kid. I never expected to co-sleep but we do whatever we need to make sure mummy doesn't have a complete sleep deprivation meltdown.

The hardest bits…

Sleepless nights and 3 year old tantrums... I would take a newborn over the threenager year any day of the week though lol.

The best bits…

The innocence, the purity of childhood, the conversations with my 3 year olds, the snuggles, the intense love and joy. Watching them learn or do things for the first time. Knowing they were meant to be mine and I was meant to be theirs.

How do you make time for you?

I am not very good at this at the moment - I often need a push to do it. But I do need my alone time to recharge so even if it's a bubble bath with a face mask or a remedial massage or I have been known to go to the movies by myself... I also love my girlfriends and spending time with them.

What’s next for you and your family?

No more babies for us! We just bought a house off the plan so waiting for that to be built and saving our little bums off. In the meantime, I think I need to spend a bit of time figuring out who I am outside of being a Mum because I think thats really important.

A piece of advice for our readers?

Always remember that it's ok not to be perfect, it's ok to make mistakes, it's ok to not enjoy parenthood all the time and it's ok to tell people that you are finding it hard and to accept help.