Jessica Bennett

Tell us a bit about yourself?

I'm Jess! I am a wife to my Husband, Mat and mother of two gorgeous, strong-willed young ladies. I grew up, mostly in Canberra and I enjoy playing sport and I am currently studying a Bachelor of Sport and Exercise Science at UC and am about to go back to work full time after working part-time for 4-5 years.

What were you doing before babies?

Not much more than what I am doing now. The only difference would really be overseas travel - COVID has disrupted that for everyone now though!

How did you come to be a mum?

To be honest, completely by accident! My eldest was not planned and I found out I was pregnant with her a few months before my wedding.

What has your feeding journey been like?

With my eldest, it was extremely tough. Both physically and mentally. When she was born it was almost impossible to get her to latch and for some reason, I was so so hard on myself and refused to reach for that 'in case of emergencies' tin of formula sitting on the top shelf of the pantry. So for around 4-6 weeks, I was pumping and bottle feeding exclusively. I refused to stop trying to breastfeed, I was so stubborn! There were lactation consultant appointments, nipple shields, cracked and bleeding nipples, nipple balm, break down, tears - the lot! We ended up taking her to see a chiropractor who did a bit of work on her (whatever that means!) and I don't really know if it was a coincidence or chiropractors really are magic, but that afternoon, she latched and that was the end of exclusive pumping... and bottles! She refused to take the bottle after that and I ended up breastfeeding her for 13 months.My youngest daughter was not nearly as tricky and I was not as hard on myself. She took to breastfeeding as soon as she was out without issue or hesitation. While she was predominately breastfed for 12 months, every now and then she would have a bottle of formula, which meant I could have a night off, or my husband and I could have a date night. What has sleep been like in your house? My eldest always had trouble settling and needed 'rough rocking' or to be in the car, or the carrier - she very much needed to know we were there to sleep. The first few months were really tough with her until we started co-sleeping. Although, not for everyone, co-sleeping really really worked for us! My youngest was a dream, we co-slept for 6-7 months and the transfer into a cot went perfectly and she slept on her own almost instantly.

The hardest bits…

The loss of self-identity. It's like as soon as you have kids you are 'Mum' not 'Jess' anymore. I have worked hard to build that identity back and have a healthy balance between both. It can be hard when there is a certain way society views mothers and what we 'should' be doing or how we 'should' be acting - people often forget we are people too, with lives and interests! Your kids want to see you enjoying life too, I promise! Seeing them sick, or hurting. When my youngest was 7 days old she began having seizures. It just looked like twitching, but mother's instinct (always trust it, no matter what anyone says!) told me something wasn't right so I took her to the hospital. Because I could not describe what I was seeing, we sat in the Canberra Hospital Emergency waiting area for 4 hours before moving into the paediatric waiting area for another half an hour or so. When the doctor finally saw the 'twitching' she stated they were seizures and it was chaos. Doctors were everywhere and she was moved into ICU and was sedated. You could imagine how we felt seeing our tiny, not even 3kg, baby sedated and being wheeled away from us as they told us they needed to perform a lumbar puncture to try to understand why she was having the seizures. They believed she had contracted a virus and was put in an isolation room, hooked up to a machine to monitor her brain waves - my husband and I each slept on a single recliner in the hallway of the hospital that night, having no idea what was happening with our daughter. The lumbar puncture showed nothing, she had a CT scan which showed damage to the white matter of her brain and she also had an ultrasound of her heart which showed a minor hole - which they weren't too worried about at the time. She was isolated from us for 5 days, hospitalised for 7 in total. They were unable to understand what caused the seizures and we were told she may grow to have cerebral palsy, as they were unsure of what may happen due to the white matter damage on her brain. Follow-up scans and ultrasounds were done and she is now, at 4 years old, completely fine. No more seizures, white matter completely healed and her heart is fine. We pray the seizures never return, and for now she lives her best life being the trouble maker of the family!

The best bits…

The kisses, the cuddles, the 'I love you, Mummy'. Watching your kids grow and learn new things. The excitement in their eyes when they discover something new. When their personalities shine through and you get to see them live. It is all so rewarding.

How do you make time for you?

For me, I love my sport.. I use this as my outlet and to do something for myself while keeping active and socialising with some great friends I have met through playing sport.

What’s next for you and your family?

Continuing to learn and grow, my eldest is in school now and my youngest starts preschool next year. Supporting them through their learning and helping them find out who they are and what they want to do is so much fun.

A piece of advice for our readers?

Do what works for you. Don't be afraid to reach for that formula if you have to, it doesn't make you any less of a mother! Always, always trust your motherly instincts because they truly know what is going on with your baby, and don't forget that you are you as well as a mother and you are allowed to be both, you are not defined by being a mum. Cut yourself some slack, you're doing a great job x