Tell us a bit about yourself? 

My name is Bec, I’m 32 years old and mama to three; Emily, Harrison and Louis. My husband Tom and I have been together since we finished high school and met shamefully at a well-known venue where many a Canberran choose to, “get loose”. 

My passion has always been amongst children and this lead me to a career in Primary Teaching. I adore this job and the little people and families who I have the privilege of encountering. My first ever class are graduating year 12 this year and I couldn’t be prouder!

What were you doing before babies/children?

Before having children my husband and I spent most weekends trying new restaurants and eateries and hosting friends at our house. There were also plenty of late nights binge watching our favourite tv series, something that has now become a thing of the past. We were especially fortunate to be able to get a few good years of travel in before both babies and lockdowns hit. We managed a little bit of Asia, some of Europe and New Zealand. When people say to travel before kids, they’re entirely right! Holidays do not look the same anymore (not better or worse, just very different!)

How did you come to be a mum?

I’ve been dreaming of becoming a mother for as long as I can remember. I’m a bit of a traditionalist and it was important to me that I was married before trying for children. It was 2017 and we were actually on a holiday in the South of France for my best friends wedding and we hadn’t wanted to start trying until after that particular holiday. That way I was able to enjoy the fine wines that France has to offer and celebrate in style with my girlfriend. After a night of celebrating, dancing and some of the best Rosè I’ve ever had, we began our journey to parenthood!

Enter 2022 and we were ready for number three! It was hard to not compare and make assumptions about what our third and final pregnancy and labour might look like. I had assumed early on that we would be able to predict the gender of our third, which we’d decided to keep a surprise, based on how the pregnancy was going and which of my previous pregnancies it most resembled. This was definitely not the case. All three of my pregnancies were quite different, with one consistency being my lack of morning sickness in each.  

In the morning of the day that our third baby arrived, I was 40 weeks and 2 days and well and truly resigned to the idea of induction or being stuck with this baby inside me for eternity. This was the furthest I’ve gone over, so my reaction and emotions towards that were quite dramatic, fuelled and encouraged by pregnancy hormones.

Nevertheless, I woke around 2am with mild contractions that were lasting around 1 minute and coming on average every 7 minutes. In the past my labours have usually progressed smoothly and quite quickly from the moment the contractions start but for some reason, they paused around 4am. I assumed they’d progress once I got up for the day but the reality was, they just kept lazily rolling in and then washing away. They were pretty painless and in gaps of anywhere between 4-15 minutes, sometimes only lasting 30 seconds. 

Despite our best efforts of trying to get them to actually progress into something more consistent, it just wasn’t happening. I had been walking and pacing to no avail. My midwife who wasn’t actually working that day, kept checking in via text and suggested I should rest, so around 1:30pm I went and napped. I woke around 2:30pm to a few bigger contractions and decided I should get up to keep them moving. I went to the toilet and they started coming in much stronger and more consistently, but I was still sceptical because of their earlier stop start pattern. By around 2:40, I felt like I needed to ease the pain (which was still manageable at this point) so I jumped in the shower. 

Tom came in to see how I was going. At this point I’d been in the shower for 3 or 4 contractions and I started to question if we needed to call the midwife to let them know we’d be coming to the hospital soon. Tom had earlier had the idea to use his AirPods so that he could be quite mobile and hands free as he made calls. He called the midwife and while he was on the phone, and just as I was about to get out of the shower, my waters broke and I had a contraction that told me we weren’t going anywhere. By this point his call had ended and I yelled to him what had happened. I felt another powerful surge wash over me as I realised that we actually were not going to make it to the hospital. I yelled at him again to call an ambulance (in reality I screamed at him, “you need to call someone else!!” because I was still a little in denial that we needed an ambulance, fortunately he knew what I meant). Before I had come to terms with what was actually about to happen, he had already run to the front door, unlocked it, grabbed all of our towels from the linen closet, run back and was on the phone to 000 with his AirPods in so he could be hands free.

It had only been around 10 minutes since I’d gotten into the shower and I was in total shock at the pain that was now consuming me. In this state of shock and as another contraction surged through my body, I felt the baby’s head begin to descend. I eventually realised I had no choice (and no drugs!) and that even if I chose not to push, the baby was coming. By the time Tom had returned with towels and the call operator in his ear, I was on all fours on the bathroom mat. Somehow through the haze of pain, I became quite lucid about needing some control and idea of what was happening while I birthed our baby. I was able to grab a small mirror and place it under me so I could see what was happening. I had another contraction and felt the baby begin to crown. Instinctively I placed my hand down on my perineum to guide his head out slowly. My second baby weighed 4.79kg so I was acutely aware of needing to breathe through the contractions in case this was another big baby. At this point Tom was telling me to move my hand so he could catch the baby, but I was consciously trying to slow the birth of the head to stop myself from tearing, and feeling what was happening allowed me to do this. Once his head was out I moved my hand so Tom could place his own there, in readiness to catch him. 

Through that contraction and the next, I had become conscious of Tom’s voice and words as he narrated the birth to the call centre operator and told them exactly what he could see as our baby emerged. It was so comforting to hear what was happening as well as hearing the excitement, bewilderment and assertiveness in his voice.

I will always remember his voice at the moment that our baby emerged, stating excitedly, “I’ve got him! I’ve got the baby. It’s a boy!”. And even now writing that out brings me to tears. Nothing compares to birthing a child, a new soul into the world. But birthing one created by Tom and I, into the world with just him and I present was a whole new experience.

From waking up from my nap to having a baby on our bathroom floor, 18 minutes had passed in total. 2 minutes after he was born, a Paramedic had made their way through the house to find me sitting up, still on the floor with our little boy wrapped in my arms. Shortly after, a midwife arrived and shortly after her arrival, more paramedics and then my continuity midwife, Judy, having cut her afternoon walk short after hearing that I’d given birth at home. Our little Louis was not so little and weighed in (on our kitchen bench) at 4.22kg and somehow, despite his chunky size, I came away without any tears or grazes.

This final birth experience for me was without a doubt the most crazy, wild, joy filled moment of my life. My respect and awe for myself, my body, my husband and our relationship has only strengthened with this experience. It was the final puzzle piece to close the pregnancy and birth chapter for myself and my husband and it has provided me with such an overwhelming sense of contentedness and peace for that closure. 

What has your feeding journey been like?

Feeding my babes has been mostly straightforward. I’ve always had to push through the first week where my nipples feel like they get chewed up and spat back out. I didn’t have too many issues with my first, but the boys both forced me to pump for a few days to let my nipples recover from painful grazes. I sought the help of lactation consultants with my second and found their advice to be particularly helpful. Emily and Harrison both self- weaned around the 11 month mark, which I found quite bittersweet. Third and final time around, I imagine the conclusion of my breastfeeding journey will be all the more difficult. 

What has sleep been like in your house?

Sleep is hard to come by, between three kids, if it’s not one of them waking, it’s two of them. I experienced nighttime anxiety when Emily was born as I knew that I wouldn’t get any sleep and that lead me to staying awake in anticipation of being woken. Now with Louis, we are much more open to waking at night and have come to a place of being at peace with disrupted sleep. Third time around, Louis is sleeping like a baby (waking for feeds but still letting us get some sleep).

We also did our own version of sleep training at around the 9 month mark with both of the older kids and found that because of that, they are both great sleepers now. We will do the same with Louis. It’s controversial to sleep train, but it has worked wonders for us.

The hardest bits…

Motherhood is hard. The hardest for me was going from having time to myself, to suddenly doing everything for little people who demand my attention all of the time. It can be incredibly isolating as well. When I first had my daughter, I was completely unprepared for nearly every aspect of being a mother and had nobody to share that journey with, apart from my husband. Many of my closest friends don’t have children of their own. It was only through joining a parents group, that I began to feel seen and heard. I’m still good friends with the people in that group and still turn to them for advice and reassurance.

The best bits…

Despite how difficult it can be, it’s also the most beautiful decision I’ve made, to become a mother. I adore our three children and watching them grow to be their own little people with their own likes and dislikes. 

I recently had a disagreement with my daughter and as I put her to bed, we discussed what had occurred and how we had both felt. She was deeply ashamed of her behaviour and couldn’t express her apology to me. We resolved our conflict and I went to bed, knowing that she and I both felt happier, despite her lack of words. She then came to me not long after to give me her favourite toys to sleep with that night. The apology of a four year old sometimes doesn’t come in words. It’s moments like that, that make me realise every moment we exert ourselves trying to create kind little humans, is worth every effort. 

How do you make time for yourself?

Right now while I’m still breastfeeding, it’s difficult to make time for myself. When I’m not breastfeeding I’m desperately trying to give my time to my older two, as well as sharing my downtime with my husband. I don’t resent any of that, because I know this season of having a newborn will be short lived, and I’ll be sad once it’s over. I have in recent weeks been more proactive in walking and listening to podcasts (The Diary of a CEO = amazing!) while the older two are in care. But newborns needs change so quickly, so too will my efforts to have “me time”. 

What’s next for you and your family?

Soon our daughter will begin preschool and I’ll return to work. Our future is really just looking to the coming year and how to manage changing routines. I’ve found that taking the first 12 months slowly after baby is born, is the best way to manage my own expectations of what we can achieve (I sometimes set them too high). 

If you could talk to your pre baby/kid self, what advice would you give?

While you’re scared of birth and the pain, and it can be one of the scariest things you’ll ever go through, if you let it, it will also be the most empowering moment of your life. 

Your pregnancy and labour aren’t the finish line, in fact, they’re just the beginning! 

When it comes to parenting, take it slowly and be flexible. Give your time where it’s needed the most and if you need to, say no to visitors and invitations that add too much pressure to what is already a demanding time. 

Enjoy every minute of motherhood, it’s better than you anticipated it would be and your kids are becoming the kindest little people who love you as much as you love and adore them.