Tell us a bit about yourself?

My name is Amy Iacullo. I am a photographer, certified birth doula, co-director of a local flooring business "Iacullo Timber Flooring", mother of four children and wife to a passionate beautiful man.

What were you doing before babies?

Haha There was a life before children? When was that? Who was that person?! Before children I grew up with sand between my toes at the beach side town of Burnett Heads near Bundaberg. I moved to Sydney in 2011 where I worked managing photography studios before moving to Canberra in 2016 with my husband and (then) two children.

How did you come to be a mum?

I was welcomed into parenthood with the birth of our first born son Romeo in 2013. We were then blessed with a large family with the following births of Mia (2015) , Matteo (2017) and Valentina (2020). I don’t think the births themselves brought me to becoming a mother, but more the lessons we have learnt and continue to learn along the way.

What has your feeding journey been like?

I breastfed Romeo until just 4 months before working hard to express feed when I returned back to work. With Mia I fed her until 8 months when I then returned back to work again. Matteo was a looooooong 2.5 years breastfeeding until I feel pregnant again and he weaned during my next pregnancy. I am still currently breastfeeding our baby daughter who has just turned one.

What has sleep been like in your house?

Sleep? What even is that! We play a fabulous game of musical beds in our household! Our baby daughter sleeps in her bed before coming in with us in the wee hours of the mornings. Matteo and Mia both sleep in their own beds all night. Romeo, our eldest, still co-sleeps with us at 7 years old. It’s not for everyone, but it works for us.

The hardest bits...

All of our children are perfectly unique, our eldest just comes with a label. Romeo was a typically developing child, he walked on time, talked on time, gosh I have videos of him playing peek-a-boo and kicking a ball with his dad. I have memories of him yelling “kick the ball!!” and singing happy birthday. Until slowly... he just didn’t. At around 2.5 years old had a developmental regression with left him only able to use 5 single words. He was diagnosed with Autism at 3 years and 9 months. We dove into all of the therapies thinking if we just started Speech therapy, speech would come that makes sense right? Wrong. He will be 8 this year and has worked so hard all year on the sentence “I want icecream”. We never saw it coming. Hold onto your hats because the surprises don’t stop there. On May 12 this year, at 4am we woke up to him having what we now know was his first Grand Mal (Tonic Clonic) seizure. After 9 days in hospital he was then diagnosed with epilepsy. You would imagine that would be the hardest part. well its not really. The hardest part for me is learning how to parent his very loud, very opinionated siblings. His 4 year old brother is going through this stage where he just wants to wear a spiderman outfit every. Single. Day. I sneak in the washes during the night but we are heading into day 12 and I just don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. He fights me daily from what he wants to wear, to if he wants to eat his favourite meal (which I know is his favourite and I KNOW he’s hungry but he just LOVES to say no). The hardest part is parenting our 5 year old daughter who is an emotionally delicate flower. She is dealing with bullying at school and nightmares during the night. She just wants mummy to sit and draw with her and create arts and crafts projects after school. The hardest part of parenting is the bloody weight of the serious load of mummy guilt I carry around our last born daughter. The craving I have to hold her all day when I have the constant pull of the other children. Somedays I just want to lock myself away with the baby goodness and soak her up but someone needs a sandwich or someone else didn’t flush the toilet so the next children obviously just CANNOT use it until mummy flushes it. I’m constantly afraid of missing her fleeting baby stage. How can we savour it? Can it be bottled and used later? Parenting a child with special needs is really no different than parenting other children, the challenges look different, that’s all.

The best bits...

Oh there are so so so many incredible moments in the chaos of a “big” family. I love watching my children support and love each other. In the mornings just waking up, Mia calls to me from her bedroom “mummy! Its morning and I’m awake!......... I need breakfast!” and the day begins again. It’s all systems go until Daddy walks through the front door and each child screams “DADDY” like they haven’t just seen him 8 hours ago. I love the surprise of figuring out a Romeo puzzle, whether it’s a new word he is trying to say or a sound he keeps repeating that means something new or the complete joy in his face when I figure it out like “oh good for you mum, you finally got it.” I love seeing how easy being a child comes to our other children, how easy it is for them to play and talk and learn, how do they do that? How do they know to say “brroooommm” with the car when it goes down the race track but the same act took Romeo a full 6 months to mimic? Despite its challenges, motherhood is just simply magical, having the privilege of watching these little versions of yourself grow.

How do you make time for you?

I’d love to say that I get massages, get my hair done often and shower with the door shut but a lady can dream. I keep it simple, I put the kids to bed at 7pm and spend a bit of time with hubby before doing my own thing for a few hours. I also go to a child friendly bootcamp three days a week after school drop off. I bring Matteo and Valentina with me to do a workout and although it’s a juggle, being physically active is important to me and it makes me feel okay with the mountain of chocolate I consume during the hours of 10pm- 12am... you know, during my ‘me’ time. I also have an extremely supportive husband and friendship circle. Owning our own company makes it flexible for me to work as a Birth Photographer & Doula as well as just doing the simple things like making sure he is home early if I’m about to emotionally implode. My friends (especially my best friend and neighbour Amanda) are the solid support network I rely on to keep my mental health in check. They come by and just let me unload my mind/heart onto them and don’t judge when I go into OCD mode and either throw out half of my belongings or paint all of my furniture for the 17th time.

What’s next for you and your family?

Who knows? We are finding our feet with our son's Epilepsy diagnosis and working out what that means for him. We are working hard at creating something with our flooring company to create a future opportunity for our son to work independently as an adult. We have this idea that perhaps, one day, he will be able to have meaningful roles in his life in both a career and the relationships he has around him. That’s a little far into the future for my liking, for now I’ll just stick to an easy bedtime routine and looking forward to the block of chocolate in my top draw.