Claire Rummery
You may recognise her from the amazing brand Short & Sweeter Collective, the neurodivergent-friendly apparel label made with love for the whole family.
Tell us a bit about yourself
Born and raised in Canberra, and now I’m raising my own family in my childhood home, which feels really special. I’m a teacher by trade, but I’ve recently started my own small business, Short & Sweeter Collective, a neurodivergent-friendly apparel brand for the family. We were recently featured in HerCanberra, and are finalists for the upcoming Local Business Awards.
How did you become a mum?
We were really fortunate to fall pregnant on our first try, which honestly freaked me out because I didn’t expect it to happen so quickly. My pregnancy was wild to say the least. I had HG and would violently vomit throughout the day up until 28ish weeks. That wasn't easy but being a teacher and having to run to vomit in a bin or toilet was fun (not). The birth was incredibly intense (as is every birth in their own way). I felt like I had 'trained' for this event my whole life as it was my dream. I went into labour naturally, laboured at home for 22hrs no worries, went into hospital at 5cm but things went south and it ended up being a Category A emergency caesarean under general anaesthetic.
My labour progressed quickly once I was at hospital, but with that came 1.5 minute contractions back-to-back. It was like my baby was getting dumped by a continuous wave. Due to this her heart rate kept plummeting and not recovering quick enough so they attached a scalp clip. Within 45mins I went from a 5 to a 7 and then an 8. At that point my body started bearing down and actioning the eject reflex but it was way too early and my body had not dilated enough yet for a safe delivery. They suggested an injection to calm things down and to give us both a break, after two attempts nothing was stopping and all of a sudden I knew something was wrong and I was going to lose my baby, I just remember yelling "cut her out, cut her out!" it is true what they say about a mothers intuition. Never wrong. My baby was in an acute crisis and her heart rate was at 80bpm for 15 minutes at a time. My partner, Reice, helped 6 other medical staff rush my bed down to the theatre, bumping into hallway objects and walls, it felt like a movie and I remember just looking at the fear on Reice's face. I was on the theatre table beside myself because Reice couldn't come in and I thought it was going to be the last time I was going to see him. I kept telling the team to not leave him alone through this but they had no choice. All hands on deck for me and bub. Finally after 7 back-to-back contractions they put me under, Reice said it went silent, then he heard Ellie cry after using the CPAP machine. When Reice met Ellie for the first time he had no idea how I was and was with his brand new baby back in our labouring room reliving everything with no information about the state I was in. After an hour he learned that I was awake so he brought Ellie to me in the theatre and put her on my chest and that was the first time I met my baby, Ellie. We later learned that if they’d waited even a minute longer, I likely would’ve had a placental abruption and Ellie and/or myself could’ve had life-threatening complications.
It was the most terrifying experience of our lives, but we both recovered really well. As traumatic as it was, I look back with so much pride at what my body did. It brought Ellie here safely, and that’s something I’ll never take for granted. We always said "birth preferences" because the PLAN was a healthy and safe baby girl, and that is exactly what we got.
What has your feeding journey been like?
Fortunately, Ellie took to breastfeeding straight away. I have a photo from the first attempt and it's me pushing my boob together with both hands while the nurse held her. No clue hahaha! To be honest, it took me 5 months to feel confident with feeding, like I finally knew what I was doing. I fed Ellie for 14 months and then overnight we stopped. We were both ready and it wasn't forced, it felt right. Ellie LOVES food, I love sharing a meal together because it reminds me of the moments we shared together when I would breastfeed her.
What has sleep been like in your house?
We have been very fortunate with Ellie's sleep habits. She has been a good sleeper since day one. It took me a week to put her in the bassinet for day naps and I would just watch her sleep when I finally did. Regressions obviously came and went and we just stuck with whatever she needed that night. Teething has been the biggest thing that has disrupted sleep. She got her first 8 teeth all at once at 10 months old and I just remember 10 days straight of screaming all night, she still will get 6-8 teeth at once.
Co-sleeping always was in the back of my mind but I was so terrified to try it so I just always refused. We put her in her own room in her own cot (next door to our room) when she was about 3 months old because we thought getting her use to her cot before the 4 month sleep regression hit would help. We use a baby cam and check the room tempt regularly. The hardest thing with supporting her sleep for us has been what to dress her in. Is she too hot? Too cold? We still don't know and just trial and error.
Don't get me wrong, we have tried soooo many tips and tricks that you hear about just to see if its a good fit as being first time parents we were down to try anything, especially when some sleepless nights start to add up. But, wake windows were the one thing that continued to work for us. We never forced anything, just followed Ellie and eventually dropped naps. She is now on 1 nap and goes to bed around 6:30/7pm every night and sleeps through with the odd waking here and there.
The hardest bits...
The baby blues hit at day 4 PP and then they came back a few weeks later and didn't really leave. I would have dramatic mood swings, freeze modes and would dred nighttime. I would be crying on and off nonstop and the anxiety just riddled my body. Postpartum anxiety and depression hit hard for me. I went on medication when Ellie was three months old and stopped just after she turned 1, and it honestly changed everything. There’s still so much stigma around medicating and I didn't realise how many mums benefitted from them until we talked about it. For me, it’s what allowed me to feel like myself again and actually enjoy motherhood. I also have ADHD (diagnosed in my early 20's), and managing that alongside new motherhood was a huge learning curve. I had to find my own rhythm, letting go of perfection, creating structure that still allowed for flexibility, and learning to ask for help.
I remember calling parenting hotlines and ForWhen early on in tears late at night, many appointments with MumsMatter, calls to my parents who live interstate by myself and my partner (on behalf of me) because some days/weeks were impossible. I had the feeling of wanting to escape, not from Ellie, but from the pressure of letting the role of "Mum" down. My entire life I have always set high expectations on myself and finally having my dream come true of being a mother, well you can imagine the standard I tried to hold myself to.
Returning to work. Society taught me that I am meant to want to stay home with my baby so the date on the calendar getting closer and closer caused so much stress and anxiety. Then I went back to teaching and on the first day I was instantly relieved and knew I was in the right place. I remembered that I love my job and it helps me organise my brain because there is a structure that I am not in charge of. When I was at home I would have the freedom to get dressed for the day and eat etc whenever I wanted, and some days I wouldn't do either because I honestly didn't have the brain power to. Daycare was never on my mind but in this day and age and cost of living crisis it was necessary. Fortunately, Ellie LOVES it! Very smooth transitions (the hard drop off every now and then for her and for us), a great place and it has helped us improve our quality time because I am no longer burnt out. Ellie deserves the best and more, and me being at work makes being a better me/mum/partner. I have found other mums out there that are the same, but again, not until I talked about it and being vulnerable.
The best bits...
Without a doubt, Ellie and being her mum. Watching her little personality shine, seeing her curious nature, sense of humour and her smile that lights up the world. It’s magic. Seeing her interests and hobbies evolve, her relationships with friends and family grow. Not to mention how she has made the people around me happier and softer. Doing it all with Reice, we’ve become the best little trio anyone could ask for. We are a team. She is the perfect mix of us both. I could talk until the end of time about how incredible our daughter is: her love for food, special handshakes, animal noises, her secret language, dancing, rap music (like her dad), playing any kind of cheeky game and holding her hands out like she's proposing when she wants to be picked up.
We are raising Ellie in my childhood home. She is in my bedroom, in my cot, my clothes, she cuddles and bonds with my teddies. Constantly recreating photos that were taken of me in the same spot/outfit has been the most precious thing.
Ellie has made me the person I have always wanted to be and it is so much better than I could have ever imagined. Sure there are hard parts, but they matter just as much, they make the good parts even better.
I have been through a lot, more than anyone should experience in a lifetime. But during those times I always knew it was a phase and when I am older I will have my dream: a loving and supportive partner, raising beautiful children and having careers we both love. Sounds cheesy but it's true. Little Claire believed in fairytales.
How do you make time for yourself?
This is a hard question. I don't do well with 'spare time'. I am like a shark, if I stop swimming I drown. During maternity leave I started a clothing brand called Short & Sweeter Collective, for kids and adults. Neurodivergent-friendly apparel for the family. Inspired by Reice and Ellie, it is booming and to be honest it was an accident if I am honest. I am back teaching full time and am also loving it. I have never been pulled in so many, important, directions at one time. But it has made me be present and take one day at a time. Reice and I find our time once Ellie is in bed and we play board games or watch our shows. Weekends we prioritise family time. We also both take time for ourselves here and there when little pockets of time present themselves.
What is next for you and your family?
We’re hoping to buy a house early next year and start thinking about growing our family, Ellie will be an amazing big sister (sounds so weird to say). We're hoping to plan our first family holiday soon, continue growing the brand and kicking career goals. It feels exciting to be in this new chapter after everything we’ve been through personally and as a family. I know now that birth and motherhood rarely go to plan, but it is helping me find comfort in the unknown which is exciting.
If you could talk to your pre-motherhood self, what advice would you give?
Just enjoy it. Have fun. Don’t let fear steal your joy. You know your baby better than anyone else, trust your instincts.
I’d also tell her that even if things don’t go to plan, even if it’s scary and messy and nothing like the movies, it’s still yours, and that’s enough. Your body will surprise you, your heart will stretch beyond measure, and one day you’ll look back and realise how strong you were all along.
Published with love by Yasmin from Cbrmamas, sharing the story of Claire Rummery.
