Tell us a bit about yourself?

I’m a 38-year-old mum to two beautiful boys (Ethan, 8 and Joshua, 8 months) and wife to my wonderful husband, Eli. I was born in Sydney and moved to Canberra with my husband in 2009. I have loved building our life together and raising our sons in this beautiful city. I consider myself generous and driven, I constantly set goals for myself whether it be professionally or personally. I thrive on organisation and planning ahead – obsessed with pretty stationery, photography and my to do list!

What were you doing before babies?

Before Ethan, I was an Executive Administrator and before Joshua, I worked in corporate services and communications roles. I enjoyed supporting people and making a difference in changing administrative processes to make the work day operate that little bit more efficiently.

I also coached and played netball when I first moved to Canberra. I’m still connected to some of the girls I coached who are now mums themselves.

How did you come to be a mum?

Within 6 months of being married, I fell pregnant with Ethan. He was a wonderful first wedding anniversary present. My son Joshua arrived 7 years later via IVF. I still have my journal entry where I noted one of my goals for 2020 was to fall pregnant and in December 2020 I was. Joshua was my 3rd embryo transfer out of the 7 viable embryos I had retrieved. I will always remain grateful for being able to go through the IVF process (and be successful). I had a strong support network - my husband, family and close friends were with me every step of the way.

What has your feeding journey been like?

With Ethan, I had a terrible experience in the hospital. I did not feel equipped or confident with breastfeeding when I arrived home. I was feeding nearly every hour and a half with an hour break for weeks. I remember thinking, it can’t be this hard; my baby wasn’t getting enough food and my milk supply was low. I felt terrible, tired and had an overwhelming sense of failure. I introduced pumping and topping up with formula to help extend Ethan’s (and my) sleep. The formula helped and both Eli and I made the decision that it would be best for us all to solely formula feed. With Joshua, I was determined to give breastfeeding another go. Knowing that I may have an issue with milk supply, I breastfed and topped up with formula and was pumping to help with my milk supply while I was in the hospital. I continued that process once we got home.

The day after we arrived home from the hospital, the ACT was thrown into lockdown. In the weeks that followed, between extended lockdowns, home schooling Ethan and caring for a newborn, Eli and I made the decision to solely formula feed.

I didn’t feel that overwhelming sense of failure the second time around; sure, I was disappointed but I felt proud that I had given breastfeeding another go and maybe it would have continued under different circumstances. I don’t regret not persisting with it though; formula feeding worked/works for both my boys. It also wasn’t a decision that I made on my own; Eli and I talked about it in depth and in the end the decision was the right thing to do for me and our family.

Disappointingly, there is still so much stigma about formula feeding and judgment towards mums who choose to go down the formula feeding only path. Only YOU can decide what is best for you and your baby and you do not need to justify your choice to anyone.

What has sleep been like in your house?

We have been lucky. From about 2 months old, Joshua has been a great sleeper. We implemented a night-time routine from 3 months with Joshua and have stuck with it since. Ethan was a different story! He didn’t sleep through the night until about 16 months with some tough sleeping training and help from my mother-in-law.

The hardest bits…

• Always questioning if I’m good enough and if there are things I could do better.

• Constant worrying plus the age difference between my children brings completely different worries.

• Seeing them grow stronger and more independent, especially my eldest. Time goes way too fast and not being needed 24/7 is hard, but also wonderful to see him flourish and mature.

The best bits…

This list is endless really, but my top three are:

• Being the one that they choose first to share anything good that’s happened during their day, but also being the one they will go to on their bad days. You are their ultimate safe haven.

• Being witness to their firsts in life – when they sit, crawl, walk, talk – they learn to ride a bike, tie their shoelaces or walk themselves into school independently, we get to experience it all again through them.

• Hearing “I love you too mummy”.

Being a mother is harder than anyone can tell you but also more rewarding than anyone ever tells you.

How do you make time for yourself?

It’s very deliberate.

Parenthood can be all-consuming and you have to consciously work at it to make space for yourself and your partner to continue to exist as people, not just parents. It's also about my mental health and the importance of finding ways to manage my own wellbeing, For me, thriving as a parent and person is that I put a lot of energy into being organised; it keeps me focused and sane.

My days are mostly structured around Joshua’s Eat, Play, Sleep routine. In the evening, dinner is served just before 6pm, following dinner it’s bath/shower and for Ethan a bit of time with Eli while I give last bottle and read to Joshua. Hubby and I alternate reading to Ethan so putting Joshua to bed 30 minutes earlier allows me to do that. Both Ethan and Joshua are in bed by 7:30pm, Ethan will independently read until lights out at 8pm.

The time (and freedom) in the evening lets me catch up on some life admin, read (currently reading Mel Robbins, The High Five Habit and The School for Good Mothers by Jessamine Chan), journal, plan and organise for the next day and most importantly allows Eli and I to sit and talk through our day, binge Netflix of course…and on the occasion catch up with my close friends for a mid-week wine or two.

I also love photography. It’s wonderful to have a creative outlet. My husband bought me a professional camera just before Ethan was born, I love using it and continually teach myself new ways to improve my photography skills.

What’s next for you and your family?

We bought a block of land down the South Coast last year, this year we will finalise the design and hopefully commence building towards the end of the year.

In July, we have a family trip to Tasmania booked, a trip that has been cancelled twice due to COVID and Joshua will commence day care whilst I return to work (part time).

If you could talk to your pre baby/kid self, what advice would you give?

Put yourself at the top of your to-do list every single day, and the rest will fall into place.