Kassie Harper

Tell us a bit about yourself?

My name is Kassie and I’m 25. I’m the eldest of 8 kids! My partner and I have known each other since high school. I’m originally from QLD so moving to Canberra almost two years ago now was HUGE. I have two boys Danyon 6 and Charlie 3 months. I love being outdoors and adventuring. Camping and 4x4 is a family fave. It’s great for the kiddies too! I love music, I play a little guitar, collect vinyl and there is always music playing in my house.

What were you doing before babies?

I was THE party girl haha. I was always out Friday - Sunday. Always had heaps of people around me. I don’t think I’d go back to that now. Quality over quantity is something huge I’ve learnt. I still love a good BBQ and a few drinks on the weekend here and there but I’m usually ready for bed come 9pm.

How did you come to be a mum?

I had my first son quite young at 18. The pregnancy was really good I forgot I was pregnant half the time. My birth was extremely traumatic though. I think that’s the main reason I waited almost 6 years for another. I had lots of anxiety around giving birth again. With my second son I had a less than ideal pregnancy. My morning sickness never really went away. I lived off pasta a lot haha. But my birth was really good when it came to it. I had a great team of midwives and my partner was super supportive. I think that plays a huge role in the birth experience. I did make two hospital trips thinking I was in labour and had to do the walk of shame back out haha! I eventually got induced at 40+4 because I kept going in and out of labour. It definitely wasn’t part of the plan so I struggled to come to terms with it. Eventually I accepted it though and welcomed our boy 10 hours later!

What has your feeding journey been like?

With my first son feeding was extremely difficult. A huge part of it for me personally was not being educated enough on everything breastfeeding. I had no idea about cluster feeding. I really thought there was something wrong with my milk when he wanted to feed more than “every three hours”. I made sure with my second I asked all the questions I could and educated myself on everything breastfeeding and it really paid off. I’m loving breastfeeding my second boy. In saying that though you can do all you can and sometimes breastfeeding just doesn’t work for some Mums. I really feel for those mamas with all the pressure and stigma to breastfeed only. Call me controversial but I stick by the belief that’s Fed is best. Being a mama is hard enough without feeling like you’ve failed because you can’t breastfeed.

What has sleep been like in your house?

The first few weeks sucked! Being in lockdown as well we weren’t able to fly family in from interstate to help us get through those tough sleepless weeks. Eventually we learnt more about him and when he was sleepy and that’s made it super easy, although we still don’t always get it right haha. Sometimes we do stay up and zombie through the next day to get time for us.

The hardest bits…

One would have to be lockdown and being away from family and support. Even seeing our friends down here was difficult because we weren’t allowed to for the longest time. So those first few months were the worst. I think I FaceTimed my Mum twice a day, every day haha. I called my mother in law a lot as well. I’m one of the lucky ones who has a good relationship with both in laws. So is my partner. I actually did get some post partum depression from being in lockdown though which is to be expected I think... Totally normal! Another is the MUM BOD or more specifically clothes shopping with it. Woman’s clothes and sizes are a joke! Online shopping has been the worst I wish they had models with normal bodies not just skinny or plus sizes like there’s no in between? We’ve come far including plus size models which in my opinion always should have been a thing, but we need to include all body types in between.

The best bits…

Lots of things! But mainly Watching my partner become a Dad has been the most beautiful thing. Being in the military everything is based on structure, order and control so having a baby who doesn’t follow any of those things was really funny to watch him adjust to it. Although being in lockdown for most of Charlie’s life has been tough I’ve enjoyed the one on one at home time with him. Ive had no choice haha! I’ve learnt heaps about him and his personality. I love kids though. The way they see the world and tell you about it is hilarious and keeps me in check sometimes too. I think you can learn heaps from your kids just as they learn from you.

How do you make time for you?

Even though my partner works 12 hour days he’s so great in making sure I have time for myself, sometimes it’s a bubble bath or he’ll take our son out for a few hours so I can do my own thing around the house. Even if I say “no I’m fine it’s okay” he basically leaves me with no choice. The Mum guilt seeps it quite quickly when I have me time but I’m thankful I took the time afterwards. I feel it helps on those tough days/weeks. Im very aware of mental health and always makes sure if I’m feeling burnt out or touched out that I acts on it super quickly with my partner allows me time to work through it come the afternoon if it’s been a tough day of crying haha!

What’s next for you and your family?

We’re not really too sure! We take it day by day at this point. My partner is finishing his masters and I’m enjoying being a stay at home mum (for now haha). We are hoping to buy our own home soon. Another baby is definitely on the agenda but not just yet, we do want them close together though. If I’ve learnt one thing from being with a partner in the military is to not plan TOO far ahead because things can change pretty quickly. Until it’s in writing officially on paper it can change haha!

A piece of advice for our readers?

FOLLOW YOUR GUT! Every Mama does things their own way. What works for you might not work for someone else and vice versa. I’ve unfollowed a lot of instagram pages that make me feel less than who i am as a woman and as a Mum and have found it helps a lot! Ask for help there is no shame in it!