Samantha Phillips
Tell us a bit about yourself?
I am Sam, a 33 year old married mum of boys. My husband and I have been together for 14years, married for 7 and together we have two beautiful boys, our eldest Max (5) and our youngest Archie (2).
What were you doing before babies?
Life before babies generally consisted of work, renovating our first home, weekends away with my husband or friends, dinners out and spending unlimited time with my horses and dogs.
How did you come to be a mum?
I’ve always loved kids and babies and couldn’t wait to have my own.
My husband and I discussed well before we got married that we wanted children so as soon as we were married we decided to try. I first fell pregnant in 2015, it took us 9 months to conceive and although compared to some this is not long at all, at the time it felt like a lifetime.
I had an extremely rough journey the first time around, suffering with Hyperemesis gravidarum (HG) from 5 weeks all the way through to about 35 weeks. Some days I would vomit up 30+ times a day and felt like I spent my whole life either sitting by the toilet or in close proximity to one. It was so bad that at some points I was just vomiting bile and blood and I couldn’t even manage to keep water down. Zofran wafers and hydrolyte ice-blocks were my lifeline!
Our big boy Max was born spontaneously at 39+4. My labour was only 5hours from start to finish and as I was already 10cm when we arrived at the birth centre there was no time for any pain relief before delivering all 4.5kg of our little chunk!
In 2019 we finally felt ready to start thinking about having another babe and after 6months of trying we were happy to be pregnant again. Luckily I wasn’t as unwell as I was the first time around and all signs of morning sickness were pretty much gone by 12weeks. My journey did however consist of gestational diabetes in which I was put on a low dose of insulin for. I was devastated to learn that this meant that I would likely need to be induced and would not be able to have the birth centre birth I had the first time around.
Bubs size was closely monitored due to the size of my first and although he was not measuring too large the decision to induce me at 39weeks was made due to my GD anyway. On the day, we were called while we were on the way to the hospital and advised that there was no room for us and to go out for breakfast and coffee. This was a very strange experience given the rush we were in to get to the hospital the first time around.
My midwife finally called an hour or so later and advised that there was room in the birth centre so she would just start my induction in there and then move me down to birthing once a room became available. As it turns out bub was in a hurry and entered the world just 45mins after my waters were broken, so there was no time for moving me! He was born in the water and weighed in at 3.7kg which in comparison to my first was so tiny. My experience and recovery the second time around was so much easier, very much a chalk and cheese experience.
What has your feeding journey been like?
I have had two very different feeding journeys. My first was a fabulous feeder, absolutely no issues latching or putting on weight (I was very lucky) but he was an extremely unsettled baby who screamed and writhed around in pain alot of the time. Mine and my husband’s mental health suffered alot in only a matter of weeks and we made the decision to try a dairy free formula just to see if it made a difference as we heard that dairy can take a while to leave your system. Within 24h he was far more content and no longer had a rock hard stomach or nappies full of mucous. The decision to give up feeding was extremely difficult for me but in time I came to see that it was definitely the best one for us all at that time.
I got lucky second time around too with bubs latching and feeding well despite a severe tongue and lip tie and a cathedral palate. We had a few visits with a lactation consultant and ended up having these revised (twice actually as his lip tie re‑attached) and although he also ended up having a number of allergies/intolerances (dairy, soy, egg and wheat), we managed to feed until 17months with me being on a restricted diet. It was challenging in that aspect but something I was determined to do and something I am extremely proud of.
What has sleep been like in your house?
Sleep… what’s that!? In all honesty we thought our first was a bad sleeper but he was amazing in comparison to our second. Archie has been a pretty awful sleeper from the get go, regularly waking every 45mins (or less!)when he was younger and is still awake and unsettled for hours and hours throughout the night. He is now 2 and can still be fairly unpredictable, some nights he goes down well and sleeps all night but other nights are pretty awful. He has this lovely habit of sleeping pretty well for a week or two and as soon as we think he has turned the corner, he decides to fight going down and be up either playing or randomly screaming for hours in the wee hours of the morning.
The hardest bits…
The lack of sleep! In all seriousness though, I can totally see why sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture. It really is the hardest thing we have come up against as parents. It has at times put a strain on us as a couple as we get short and snappy with each other. We found that we would fixate on awake times and sleep cues far more than any of our other friends as we were just so desperate not to have an overtired baby as we knew and know that even now it makes our night even harder and longer.
The best bits…
I would say seeing our boys together, their bond and love for each other is just so special to see.
How do you make time for yourself?
This is something that I am not very good at, so it’s definitely a work in progress.
My main goal for this year is to try not to feel guilty about doing things just for me or buying things for myself!
What’s next for you and your family?
Finishing our current renovations and planning our next family getaway in our caravan.
If you could talk to your pre baby/kid self, what advice would you give?
Having kids is the hardest but best thing you will ever do
Stress less about the small things, they don’t matter!
Trust your gut more
Find joy in the small everyday moments as even though the days are LONG the years are short. Cliché … but oh so true!