When katy met halle & tommy
Katy approached the births of her kids, Halle (4) and Tommy (2) very differently. From no birth plan and a mentality of “she’ll come out, how she comes out” with her first born, to her second time around researching everything from calm birth to different models of care.
Halle came quickly in the assessment room, with no time to get into the birthing suite and Tommy was nearly born in the car!
Katy tells her birth story in her own words…
Birth 1 (Halle)
Let’s just say I didn’t know what I was in for but I also didn’t actively seek it either. My first time around my mantra was “she’ll come out, how she comes out” and the only thought to my birth plan was to get her out safely.
I was having care through the antenatal program at the Canberra hospital and that was the initial birth conversation I had at my last appointment with a midwife. I explained that I just wanted a healthy baby who came out safely, how I didn’t care.
The night before I went into labour (I was 39 & 4) I was at my mother in laws house for dinner (she’d cooked chicken) and she made the comment (I put a heap of chilli and garlic in it) so hoping this doesn’t put you into labour (famous last words).
I woke up the next morning (around 4/5am) and felt uncomfortable a bit like period pain. I called the hospital (as it was strange for me) and they said time the contractions and call again if u need us.
I was only just on maternity leave (day 6) and had every intention of going to the movies & putting my feet up in the air con (as it was the middle of summer) so I sent my husband to work (he was working in Yass) and went back to bed.
I woke up around 7:30/8am and started to get ready but when I hopped into the shower I knew there was no way I was going to the movies today.
My husband called around 9:30am to check in and I told him I was going ok, I was uncomfortable but it wasn't too bad (just like bad period pain), I was managing it and I would call him if it got worse (he reminded me how far away he was) but I reassured him I was all good.
To manage the pain, I used a technique one of midwives suggested which was backwards over the toilet (you basically straddle the toilet-lid down) and it was where I was most comfortable, rocking and breathing through the contractions. Between contractions, I was watching a movie on Netflix and trying to breathe through it.
About an hour later it was getting too much for me to handle alone so I called my husband and told him to come home. By that point (after the call) I knew I needed to move somewhere (that wasn't our ensuite) so I managed to get myself into the straddle position on a chair in our living room. God help my poor husband he walked in around 11:30 to me straddling a chair, with a fan 2 inches from the side of my face with my head in a bucket of plaster (as I was about to vomit and that was in reach as we were renovating our living space).
My contractions were at 5 mins so we called the hospital and they suggested we come in.
By the time I walked into the assessment centre (I was probably quite well progressed in my labour) I just didn’t realise as no research over here. They told us to take a seat and someone would be with us (whilst we were waiting I actually saw a girlfriend from our hospital birthing class who was being assessed) so it took my mind off things for a second.
At this point, I was walking around the assessment waiting room and I started to feel very unwell. My husband said I walked up to the admin clerk, asked for a bucket “I’m going to vomit- give me the bin” (she gave me the bin) and I proceeded to walk around the waiting room with my head in a garbage bin.
The next thing I remember is a lovely midwife walking out the door of the assessment area and she stopped and asked me if I was ok and did I need to push. As soon as said that something clicked and I remember feeling a sensation (almost out of body) where my body started to push. I nodded and she ran back into the assessment area (where the beds are), grabbed a wheelchair & pushed me upstairs to the birthing suites asking me to try and stop pushing until they assessed me.
Whilst I was being run up, they told me there was no suites to birth in so they’ll pop me in a room until something becomes available (it’s your first baby- you won’t need a room just yet, you’ve only had contractions since 5am).
Famous last words again- by the time I was on the bed and I’d been checked I was 9cms and it was time for me to push. The midwife who checked me goes “oh looks like your having a baby in the assessment room- let’s meet her”
I pushed for two hours and my daughter was born at 2:14pm. Around 8/9 hours from start to finish of labour.
Birth Two (Tommy)
This time around I researched everything- calm birth, different models of care and I had the opportunity to go through the continuity program/birthing centre at the Canberra hospital with one midwife. To her credit she was amazing and I had gestational diabetes (so there was a point where they were considering induction and/or caesarean section but I was firm on attempting for a vaginal birth (as I had a toddler and wanted the ability to drive and minimal hospital stay.)
It was also the height of covid (2020) but it was in November so things had eased significantly (no mask wearing, but no hospital visitors).
My mum agreed to come and stay with us (as she was living 2 hours away) from 39 weeks so she could be available if we needed to go to hospital (to mind the toddler).
The day I went into labour it was really hot and I’d done the weekly groceries, my dad had arrived for the weekend to visit (and drop some stuff for my mum) & he was helping my husband do some jobs outside (gutters, lawns etc) as well as my mum being here. My husband also needed to install our capsule and I was a bit antsy about this so that was his first job of the day. I remember saying to him “now our boy can come” as all of the jobs had been done!
Around 9:30pm that night I showered and as I got out of the shower I felt a trickle (with my first my waters broke but I felt a pop as I sat down on the bed to birth my daughter). A bit came out so I went ok- it’s on. Honestly upon reflection I’d felt uncomfortable all day and was constantly moving around as every time I sat I wasn’t comfortable so I was probably in labour I just didn’t notice as it was hot & I was doing everything to get ready for our impending second child, alongside looking after a toddler. (It’s true you leave everything to last minute with the second one).
I went and told my husband and my mum (my waters broke) and they encouraged me to call my midwife. I called twice & texted but no response. I thought ok- she’s probably at another birth. I’ll give her a few hours and try again as I wasn’t too worried and I wasn’t too uncomfortable. I say this as part of my plan was to stay home as long as I could. I was comfortable at home and relaxed and that’s what I wanted for this birth.
I laid down on our bed for a bit to manage the contractions but felt better moving around so I unpacked my hospital bag & repacked it.
My husband was coming in & out of the room but I kept encouraging him to sleep as didn’t know how long the labour would be. I was moving around and breathing through the contractions. At around 11:30 my husband suggested that we try the midwife again- no answer, the call rang through to voicemail and I left her a message. I also texted her. No response. We then started to think this was a bit strange (as she was pretty clear she’d answer or she’d divert her phone to someone who would answer or call back).
At around 12:30ish it was getting too much for me (again my head was in a vomit bag as I was feeling unwell) and my husband said I’m taking you to hospital. We made the call to go and my husband was calling the main switch of the hospital to try and get a birthing suite midwife as our midwife still wasn’t answering. We eventually got onto a midwife and I was in the transition phase and felt like I needed to push (this was all happening whilst my husband is driving to hospital).
All I’m going to say is I’m glad we are live around 10 mins from the hospital because otherwise my son would have been born in our car on the side
Of the road. Luckily we were met by two amazing midwife’s who rushed us up to the birthing centre (her words to get me out of the car were “do u want your son born in the turning circle”) and my son was born in about 4 pushes at 1:01am. Around 4 hours from start to finish of labour.
I’m also aware of how easy both my births were in comparison to others. I delivered two healthy children with minimal birth trauma and can appreciate how lucky I am in that regard.
What do you wish you knew before birth?
In hindsight, it needed to happen like that for me the first time. I think if I knew more things about the logistics of birth I would have been too worried about it. Ignorance for me was what worked. The second time around I had a plan and what I wanted and whilst it didn’t go to plan, I had made informed, educated choices along the way.
If you could, would you do anything differently?
Yes- the second time around I would have gone to hospital sooner. I was so worried about confirming it was ok (by the midwife because of covid) it meant that the pushing stage of labour was quite rushed and traumatic and I was heightened and worried so his entry into the world was a little scary (as I was pretty much pushing him out in our car) and it felt like we were very much alone in it. My husband said later how scary it was for him having to drive safely but also check what was going on for me as I was so close to delivering our son and we felt like no one was answering any phones at the hospital.
What did your partner do that really helped during labour/birth?
He left me too it and checked in when I needed him too. He supported me, encouraged me and I knew he was there without getting to be too much. He would rub my shoulders or my lower back (pressure points) and that helped during my second labour (as he missed most of the first one). We’d also talked about me not being able to talk during the later stages of labour (as I was so focused on breathing) so he was able to recognise that and advocate for me (legit when we were being pushed up into the room & the midwife’s were asking me questions).
What advice/honest truth would give a mama-to-be about birth?
1. Trust your instincts and know what you want for your birth & need and talk about it with your partner so they can advocate on your behalf if you aren’t able to with your medical team.
2. No one knows if you poo (as the midwife’s are great at catching it and not telling you) or cares what you look like down there. The midwife’s look at vulvas/vaginas daily and really couldn’t care less.
3. Also every birth is a birth- it’s bloody hard work (however your baby comes) and all us mammas deserve a pat on the back for being able to grow & birth humans!