When jess met evie
Jess shares the birth of daughter, Evie, who was very eager to meet her parents and made her way earth side quite quickly. Jess was 3cm dilated at home around 9am and two hours later at the hospital she was 9cm and couldn’t stop the urge to push.
Jess opens up about her struggles with post natal depression and how postpartum is.
Jess tells her birth story in her own words…
I found out I was pregnant a couple of weeks after my 23rd birthday in February 2021, so clearly a lot of fun over the Chrissy/New years holidays. Me and my partner had discussed having a baby in 2022/23 so it came as a surprise. When I found out I walked in to my partner and he thought someone had died because of the fear on my face. I instantly felt scared like I wasn’t ready and what are we going to do.
My partner knew exactly what to say to make me feel better and calm which helped me feel okay about it all. I was about 5 weeks here.
Once I hit 6 weeks the severe morning sickness started. I was bed ridden I couldn’t eat, drink everything made me feel so ill. I tried everything anti nausea medication, injections even acupuncture and travel bands nothing seemed to help.
I finally got some relief after a different prescription was prescribed but it stayed with me my whole pregnancy. I threw eating well, and exercising, out the window just trying to find the energy to go to work most days. It wasn’t the best 9 months especially with Covid and lockdown but I got through it and finally got to meet my little girl (Evie) 3 days before my due date.
That whole week leading up to the birth I experienced horrible back pains that came and went all throughout the day and night. I struggled to do much, after seeing my midwife and not getting an answer on what was going on I just put up with it.
Friday came around and I was in so much pain I just laid in bed all day. That night I had some delicious spicy food for dinner thinking it would make me feel better and would hopefully get that baby out, which evidently it did. Saturday morning I felt different and the pains were more intense and I just felt like this was it, my partner just about to leave for work I said maybe don’t go I think this is it. Within an hour of that I was on the floor timing the what I know now were back contractions (her head was tilted).
We called my midwife who came over around 9am and I was 3cm dilated she advised to have a nice warm bath or shower and come to the hospital in a couple of hours. An hour later my waters had broke. As the pain grew more intense I told my partner let’s just go to the hospital. We got to the hospital around 11am at this point I felt the urge to push. After letting the midwife know she checked me and I was 9 cm, the bath was ready for me to go in just for some relief but instead every contraction I couldn’t help but push, screaming the hospital down, baby and I were getting exhausted.
I even passed out for a second and all I remember is my partner waking me telling me I need to breathe.
Distressed baby, my midwife advised to move to the toilet and there I gave birth to my baby at 12:54pm 9/10/2021. I DID IT! It all happened so fast for me, I felt so many emotions but I felt so proud of myself for giving birth and doing it without any drugs.
My partner was so amazed and in awe by what I had just done.
I had a second degree tear nothing some stitches couldn’t handle. After that we just laid there in awe that we have our little girl. We went home the same night.
Thinking back at my birth I loved it. It was an amazing experience.
But postpartum was and still is hard.
Evie had lost a-lot more weight then she should of in the first couple of days, at that time I didn’t realise how low my supply was. Breastfeeding was very hard for me, I struggled with supply and nipple pain from the start and Evie just cried non stop (at this time I didn’t realise she was just hungry because of my low supply).
I went to so many appointments and had so many different suggestions. I took pills, cookies and teas, I would breastfeed and then hand express and then pump I felt like a cow getting milked and I just couldn’t get my supply up. I opted to mix feed but still try to breastfeed, I was trying so hard but I couldn’t do it and gave up trying at 5 weeks. The struggles caused me severe postpartum anxiety I couldn’t eat or sleep or function and be a mum properly. Around 6-7 weeks I developed postpartum depression something over a year on I still stuffer with.
I didn’t even realise that was what was going on until I expressed how I felt to my partner and he said it could be PPD and I should see my doctor.
I was told at the start I’m at risk of PPD, I didn’t take to much thought to it, I didn’t know what it really was I didn’t wanna freak myself out by looking into it and just thought it would never happen to me. I was very wrong…
I loved the birth I really did but postpartum that was something else. It’s such a hard road and I’m still trying to find my way. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through and I never realised how common it was until after going through it myself. It doesn’t discriminate. I’m so glad I wasn’t afraid to seek help and speak up.
I encourage any mum who is struggling to not be afraid to speak to someone, a friend, family member, your doctor, someone you trust. There is help out there, you don’t have to go through it alone.
What do you wish you knew before birth?
That you’re never really prepared for being a parent and while prepareing for the baby, prepare for yourself aswell!
If you could, would you do anything differently?
I would look after myself better eat well, exercise and I wouldn’t stress to much on the things I couldn’t control and to trust the process
What did your partner do that really helped during labour/birth?
He supported me through it all, made sure I was doing okay, drinking water and cooling me down with a nice cold compress.
What advice/honest truth would give a mama-to-be about birth?
It’s painful and exhausting, if you have to opt for the help (Pain Meds) to get you through the birth then do it! Anything to make you and the baby more comfortable. Speak up if you feel something isn’t right and always trust your judgement, you know your body best. The little bundle of joy you get to hold at the end makes you forget all about what you just went through.