When EDEN met AMALIA
Eden tried for nearly 18 months to fall pregnant and when she finally got to see her little girl and hold her in her arms, it was one the best moments of her life.
Her contractions started at home at 3am, and Amalia was born close to 11am that same morning. She used a TENS machine and a bath as her pain management.
EDEN tells her birth story in her own words…
Like most first-time Mums, I was prepared to go over my due date and have a long labour as that is what I had been told countless times in my midwife appointments and at the antenatal classes. On Wed 27 July (39 +2 weeks), I woke up at 1 am with what I assumed was a stomach bug or food poisoning as both my husband and I had a reaction to the dinner we'd eaten the night before. When I realised that the cramps were coming at regular intervals I got up and started timing them. Quickly realising that my contractions were already 70 seconds long and 4 minutes apart I got my husband out of bed to start packing the car. It was freezing cold (-3 degrees) and my poor husband was trying to balance packing the car with helping me through increasingly painful contractions. We were using a TENS machine to help manage the pain which worked in the beginning.
We called our midwife at 3 am (felt sorry for waking her up), and then again at 6.30 am. By 6 am I was on all fours in our dining rooms struggling to speak and in far more pain than I had anticipated seeing as we had only woken up a few hours before. Our lovely midwife (Emma) told us to make our way to Calvary Hospital where she would be waiting. By the time we got to the hospital, my contractions were starting to run into each other and were lasting up to a few minutes at a time. Time does all sorts of strange things when you're in labour and the next few hours felt like they dragged and flew by all at the same time.
By 8:30 am my Mum had joined us at the hospital, and soon after my Auntie (a midwife of many decades) arrived as well. All of the pain management tools that we had discussed went out the window as the pain overwhelmed me completely. I ended up just screaming through every contraction and using my stress balls to squeeze or pound them on the bed while my husband counted out every contraction. After trying a few puffs of the gas and deciding that it wasn't for me, my midwife offered to run me a bath and it was suddenly the only thing that I wanted to do. Off came the TENS machine and into the bath I went. I think my waters broke in the bath as there was no movie style waters breaking at any point before getting in the bath. By this point I was definitely in transition and was starting to doubt myself and saying things like "I can't do this, this hurts so much, make it stop". My husband and I are so grateful that the midwives explained this phase in our antenatal class and warned us that this type of language was very common during the later stages of labour as it meant my husband could acknowledge my words but knew that it meant labour was still progressing and that we would be done soon.
Laying in that bath allowed me to finally relax in between contractions and just float (and be fed ice chips). All of a sudden it was time to push and I remember looking up at my auntie (a midwife) and asking how long this part was going to take because I was tired, scared and in pain. She told me it could take up to 2 hours and I just remember thinking "screw that". For some reason, that knowledge gave me newfound energy to get pushing and finish giving birth to our daughter. After 45 minutes of pushing, and a slight adjustment of my daughter's chin which got stuck, our little girl was born at 10:52 am the same morning that I first felt my contractions. We had tried for nearly 18 months to fall pregnant, and finally getting to see our little girl and hold her in our arms is one the best moments of my life so far. We both fell in love with her immediately and suddenly we couldn't imagine life with just the two of us.
I've discussed my birth story with several friends and have reflected on a few different things. Firstly, while it was a quick and simple labour that doesn't mean that the pain wasn't significant. I've never felt pain like that before and I am still (nearly nine months postpartum) mildly terrified of having to do that again if I want more children. Secondly, while the whole thing was painful and more intense than I'd imagined it could be, I am so proud of myself and my body for creating and delivering a baby into this world. Thirdly, seeing my husband support me and stay calm while I was screaming for hours on end makes me love him even more. I honestly think that I'd rather be the one in labour than have to watch my significant other go through it.
What do you wish you knew before birth?
That no matter how prepared you are, giving birth for the first time is just something you cannot fully prepare for. I thought I knew what it was going to be like, and I gave myself a million tools to help manage the pain, but when I was at the peak of labour it felt like was failing because I had convinced myself that if you prepare hard enough then somehow it will make it less painful...
If you could, would you do anything differently?
I would love to do a course that focuses on body positioning and how a support person can be active in reducing pain through acupressure and other methods. We hadn't done anything like that and while my labour was quite fast, I think that having those tools would have been useful even if just to distract us both.
What did your partner do that really helped during labour/birth?
My husband used affirming language as we'd practised (lots of "you can do this, you are strong etc" and no "I know you're in pain"). He also counted me through every contraction and counted slower than actual seconds so that it felt like the contractions were shorter than they actually were. Not once did he look at me with pity or look sad, he remained calm and collected which helped ground me.
What advice/honest truth would give a mama-to-be about birth?
Even the easiest birth is going to be painful, more painful than you can imagine. But labour does end and one day you will be sitting with your 6-month-old watching them eat food for the first time or watching them learn to crawl and labour will be a distant memory.