When steph met sonny
Having gone through two other births before I thought I knew what to expect for my third time. My first with Freddie was a little intense as we needed assistance to get him out and he had a few days in NICU. But my second time with Archie was a mostly wonderful, quick and intimate experience. Once my waters broke he was out within ten minutes.
My third time I started feeling very uncomfortable and impatient as I got closer to my due date and deeper into the summer heat. From about 36ish weeks I started to get prodromal labour pains that would come on and off so I kept thinking I was going into labour.
Just before 39 weeks (on a Friday) the contractions really ramped up and I thought I was going into labour as the contractions were getting to be a few minutes apart. Tom called his mum to come over to watch the older boys and we went into the hospital.
They checked me over and I was disappointed to learn that I was only 2cm dilated. As it was another IVF pregnancy my obstetrician had discussed an induction at 40 weeks, so I knew I only had a short amount of time left. The midwife could see how exhausted I was already so agreed to schedule me in for a few days time on the Monday to come in and have my waters broken. As my last labour was quite quick (only about 3 hours from start to finish and delivering the baby only ten minutes after my water breaking), they thought I might just need that little assistance.
On the Sunday I went into the hospital early morning for them to check me over again and make sure everything was ok for the following day. I was only 3cm at this stage so felt a little disheartened again. Luckily my sister had arrived the night before from Melbourne, as she was hoping to get to the birth. This was her third time trying after two previous COVID babies.
I had a stretch and sweep and then was sent home with instructions to enjoy a nice lunch, take a long walk and watch a romantic movie. I went to lunch with my mum and sister and started to get some intense contractions. While I was eating lunch my mum started timing them, they were still only ten-ish minutes apart, not really consistent but very intense. I got home and bounced on the exercise ball, had a nice dinner and then Tom put Bridget Jones' Diary on for me to watch. He went to sleep, while I kept breathing through my contractions, not able to sleep due to the pain.
About an hour after he went to sleep (and about 10.30pm), I woke him up, feeling a bit frazzled. I told him I needed to get into the shower, so he turned it on for me and then start timing my contractions. They were getting to 2-3min apart and were extremely intense. Tom decided to call the hospital and wake up my sister. The hospital told us to come in but I didn't want to get out of the shower, I think that's when Tom knew we were on.
Luckily the hospital is only two minutes away for us. We arrived at midnight on the dot, and I kept trying to breathe through my contractions hoping that my waters would break and our baby would arrive quickly. After two hours of intense contractions I started asking Tom and the midwife for an epidural. The midwife said I could have one but she wanted to quickly check me before, and she was able to see that I was already 9cm and the baby's head was so close.
I had a quick shower and then was standing holding onto Tom when my waters broke all over the floor. I quickly jumped onto the bed thinking that the baby would come really quickly. I was pushing and pushing for ages, and his head was a little stuck. For over an hour I pushed with Tom and my sister both supporting me and encouraging me to keep going. It was during this stage that the midwife discovered our little boy was facing the wrong way - he was posterior or 'sunny side-up'. I was absolutely exhausted but managed to find that determination to push him out. Our little Sonny boy was born at 3.49am.
What do you wish you knew before birth?
The biggest thing I wish I knew is that women can have prodromal labour for every pregnancy. I found it so exhausting thinking I was going into labour and having contractions on and off for weeks before the big event! I also didn't know much about posterior births. The pain was nothing like the other two births I had, and I'm so glad that it was my third and not my first otherwise I may not have been so keen for more babies haha!
If you could, would you do anything differently?
I always wish that I was able to relax a bit more before having a baby. I found the last few weeks of pregnancy the toughest. If I would go back I would try so much harder to just rest, relax and nap as much as possible!
What did your partner do that really helped during labour/birth?
Tom has honestly been the absolute best birth partner I could have ever imagined and I wouldn't have been able to do this three times without him! He was always so supportive and so caring, my biggest cheerleader. Everytime I've been in labour I have always only listened to him and his words of encouragement. During Fred's labour when it got a bit hairy I blocked out the ten other people in the room and was just listening to him cheering me on and helping me through the contractions. The same with Sonny's birth, Tom let me squeeze his hand until he couldn't feel his fingers and kept encouraging me to keep going. I do also have to mention my amazing sister who was there for Sonny's birth and instinctively kept gently massaging my back without me ever saying anything to her. She just knew what to do! Even though she almost fainted, she was there for me and I'm so happy that she got to meet Sonny first.
What advice/honest truth would give a mama-to-be about birth?
Labour can be extremely intense, a bit wild and one of the hardest things that you'll ever do. It's not always a beautiful experience and it doesn't have to be, but you will forget all the pain and craziness of it once you meet your baby. Having that baby in your arms is the absolute best thing in the world and nothing else will matter.
In the same vain it's also very important to remember to take care of yourself after labour - make sure you are taking the pain meds and paying attention to your wounds! You need to be looking after yourself in order to look after your baby. I learnt my lesson after my first birth when I didn't stay on top of the pain relief and found that I couldn't even sit comfortably. Be kind to your body and your recovery.