When alex met kiki
CW: This story includes birth trauma, newborn medical emergencies and NICU experience.
The first two weeks of parenthood was a massive wild ride for us three, experiencing four traumatic experiences, including an emergency category A C-section, being readmitted just after birth and two separate occasions of our newborn daughter turning blue & heading to NICU, special care and paediatrics ward via ambo, after my husband performed first aid to keep her alive at home.
Our journey, shook us to the core, especially as a first time mum. We will never forget our experience but thankful everyday we are here, we can love each other, we can be together.
The Birth.
Labour went quickly and naturally to start. Water broke at 10.30pm and I was fully dilated by 3am. When fully dilated, my husband could see her head and it all got very exciting! I was pushing for ages but Kiki’s heart rate kept dropping after contractions.
This sparked concern with the incredible Midwife we were lucky to have with us. I rolled from side to side - trying to find relief for the little one inside me. We popped a monitor onto her head to help track her heart rate. Kiki’s recovery became slower and longer and harder. The team knew something wasn’t right and Kiki wasn’t OK.
This lead us to an extremely quick move down to theatre. It happened in a blink of an eye. Emergency Category A C-section.
The Doctor and Midwifes were freaking out about getting there ASAP - it all happened very quickly. All I had was control of my breath. I had no time to put any energy into fear or doubt, just strength into the peace that this space now needed.
The experience was surreal in theatre. Terrifying, but out of my hands. The medical team (and wow, there was ALOT of them) - were efficient, communicative and kind. Kiki was nearly with us.
Unfortunately the fear and adrenaline mixed with the drugs, got the better of me - sent me into uncontrollable & intense shakes all over - that couldn’t be stopped.
The blue sheet went up.
They cut me open.
They got her out.
The silence was horrible.
Lying in shock.
Our Kiki’s cry began.
Tears ran out of my eyes but I could not move.
But the fear didn’t leave me.
I was so unwell - I couldn’t lift my arms to hold her - No skin to skin I craved for so badly when she arrived. No feeding her.
But we got the most important part - our girl survived.
It turned out I had a placenta abruption (Placental abruption is rare and life threatening and occurs when the placenta separates from the inner wall of the uterus. This can decrease or block the baby's supply of oxygen and nutrients and cause heavy bleeding in the mother).
This caused a blood clot in me and loss of blood, of which we understand this meant both Kiki and I are lucky to be alive.
The umbilical cord and placenta were in pieces, in the surgeons words, ‘I barely touched them & they fell apart or were already in pieces.’
This was the start of our journey. Our Kiki was here.
We had no clue what was in store for us next. The re-admission, the unexplained apnoea episodes, twice and living in and out of hospital for weeks.
Now - we are strong, we are learning, we are tired but we are here and we are thankful.
What do you wish you knew before birth?
Honestly, how hard being a parent really is. How difficult the newborn stage is and how wrong it all can go during birth. There's so much emphasis on prepping for the birth - but what about immediately after. More education on the 'What if things go bad? And I really would have loved hearing more about the challenges of parenthood, breastfeeding, recovery and so on.
If you could, would you do anything differently?
Prepared myself for a C-section & the impact that would have on home logistics, recovering & caring for a newborn.
What did your partner do that really helped during labour/birth?
Watched for my clues & acted - whether it be getting ice to chew on, jumping into the bath with me, taking photos, putting on calming music, holding my hand. Never leaving my side - incredible support being present.
What advice/honest truth would give a mama-to-be about birth?
Take the time to think about all possible outcomes & how you could be better prepared for your recovery & starting your new journey with your family.
Give yourself time to recover. Breathe. Slow down that space during birth & after birth. You've got this.