Danielle Devenish
Tell us a bit about yourself?
My name is Danielle, I’m 26 and I have a partner named Chris who’s a landscaper, a 2-year-old daughter named Aleena and a 11-month-old son named George.
I’m a Public Servant working in property management, however I am currently on maternity leave (and loving being a full time Mum). I’m passionate about all things health & wellness and since having my babies have become obsessed with birth and hope to study to become a doula or hypnobirthing teacher when the kids are a little older!
We live on the Southside of Canberra and love spending time with our big circle of family and friends who we truly adore.
What were you doing before babies?
Before having babies we loved travelling overseas and all over Australia, and loved doing all the adventure activities. Luckily, I got to go sky diving and bungee jumping before having babies because I haven't been able to take a long car trip without vomiting since having them!
Chris and I were working really hard in both of our careers, and I even moved to Darwin briefly which was a great experience. This period of career focus and hard work paid off and we both bought apartments as investments which would have been a lot harder with babies involved!
How did you come to be a mum?
Ironic story! In 2017 when I was 22 I went to IMED Radiology to get an ultrasound to explore some unexplained ‘symptoms’ I was having. I thought I was going to be diagnosed with PCOS or something similar and be told the journey to becoming a mother in the future could be difficult. In this appointment the sonograher asked if it was possible that I could be pregnant. And very much to our surprise, we were in fact pregnant!
My partners immediate reaction was overwhelming happiness, my initial reaction was complete and utter shock which actually took weeks to wear off. The shock and relentless morning sickness was an out of body experience for me. I travelled a lot for work at the time so I was vomiting on planes, in taxi’s, in handbags and in public toilets! At the time being sick was the only thing I was able to focus on. It wasn’t until around 20 weeks when we had announced our pregnancy and the sickness began to subside that I became truly accepting and excited for our life’s change in direction, having a baby. Hindsight is a beautiful thing.
I would describe Aleena’s birth as traumatic and I truly believe this could’ve been a different experience if I was more educated on what my body was capable of. When I was 39 weeks and 4 days my waters started leaking and when I called the hospital, they were convinced I was just wetting myself. After almost 24 hours of this I showed up the hospital just to be safe, they tested the fluid with a swab, they found out that it was amniotic fluid. Since it had been almost 24 hours since my ‘waters had broken’ they wanted to induce me with a syntocinon drip to reduce the risk of infection.
Once I was hooked up to the drip my contractions started, as did the cascade of intervention. My contractions were hard and fast with no breaks in between. I was vomiting, I was exhausted, I was convinced I couldn’t do it and I begged for an epidural. After a few hours of waiting, about 8 hours into my labour, I received the epidural.
The big needle was honestly a welcome massage in comparison, it brought so much relief. Unfortunately, the epidural was so effective that when it came to pushing shortly after I was unable to feel anything. I was pushing for 2 hours before my heart rate started going up and Aleena’s heart rate started going down. To assist with the delivery, I received an episiotomy and I also had a 2nd degree tear.
When Aleena was born she was perfectly healthy, they announced she was a girl, she was placed on my chest, she did the crawl to the breast. Chris and I balled tears of happiness and relief for about 10 minutes. Obviously all the hard work was worth it but my recovery was painful and long and I swore that next time I would be more educated on my options (I also swore the entire labour I would never have another baby, lol).
When Aleena was 1 year and 3 months when we decided a 2-3 year age gap would be perfect for our next baby. We were blessed to fall pregnant straight away meaning the age gap is just under two years (23 months). Being pregnant the second time was harder on my body, I was much sorer, though I think this was because I was chasing around a 1 year old. While I was also sick for 20 weeks of this pregnancy it was not to the same degree as I was with Aleena. I was lucky enough to get into the birth centre program at the Canberra Hospital this time, which meant I had the same midwife and a student midwife the entire time. The consistency meant I was able to build trusting relationships.
I educated myself this pregnancy, I binge listened to the Australian Birth Stories Podcast, did single session courses on calm birth and hypnobirth, spoke to doulas, spoke to midwives and researched my options. My end goal was to have a birth with as minimal intervention as possible. I got to 41 weeks and scheduling an induction was discussed. I kept pushing my induction date back because I felt confident by body knew what it was doing.
I was right. At 41 weeks and 2 days I went into spontaneous labour around 9pm. The contractions were bearable, I rested in bed timing them with an app until about 1am when they started to become much more uncomfortable. At this point I woke my partner and started using a Elle Tens machine which I had hired, this was such effective pain relief and being able to press the button every-time I got a contraction made me feel some level of control.
At 3am the contractions were becoming unbearable, but unlike last time, I actually got to have breaks in between. I had started vomiting so we called my mum to come over to watch Aleena so we could leave for the hospital at any time. When I called the midwife in between contractions to say that I was having 3 contractions every 10 minutes she said I sounded fine and to just stay at home a bit longer.
By 4am I was roaring at my partner to take me to the hospital. While he was convinced we didn’t need to go yet, nonetheless we got in the car and the midwives agreed to meet us there. I was definitely in transition this car trip, I made him drive about 40km the entire way and I was hanging off the arm rest during contractions because I couldn’t sit down. On the way I calmly texted the midwife saying “please organise an epidural" - interestingly women most commonly request this when in transition.
When we got to the hospital I got out of the car and laid on the car park floor and started yelling that I need to push and absolutely refused to get off the ground (lol). Chris called the midwives and still no one believed how far along I was, they wheelchaired me up to the room. They started to organise some Gas and other things around me while the midwife checked how dilated I was. Before I knew it all the equipment was pushed away she said “there’s no time for any of this the baby is coming now” and George was in my arms within 30 minutes. My waters didn't actually break until he was crowning. With no panadol, just a couple of grazes, the adrenalin from almost having the baby in the car park and in a complete oxytocin bubble, they announced we had a baby boy!
The same beautiful result but with polar opposite births, made me really passionate about one day becoming a birth educator. Women’s bodies are incredible to say the least.
Both times I had my placenta incapsulated. I believe this really helped with my postnatal depletion both times. So incredible.
Despite our lucky stumble into parenthood, if we had known what we know now, we probably would’ve done it sooner!
What has your feeding journey been like?
3 words - chubby, boobie monsters! I fed Aleena until she was 14 months and I am still feeding George now at 11 months. While my feeding journey has been a great one, it is worth mentioning that both were not without some initial challenges - toe curling when they latch, the nipple shields, and the bottle refusal.
The boob seems to solve most problems for us when they are babies and I cannot get enough of my babes sumo rolls.
What has sleep been like in your house?
Between the comfort breastfeeding and co sleeping, solid sleep has been non-existent for almost 3 years!
We did sleep school (QE2 - twice) and all the sleep programs with Aleena and implementing anything that made her upset hurt my heart too much. Second time around with George I know it will get better so my approach is much more relaxed and I’m wasting much less time trying to perfect his sleep.
I am not sure why people define a good night’s sleep with the phrase ‘slept like a baby’!
Coffee IV drip please and thank you.
The hardest bits…
❖ Lack of sleep and the ripple effect
❖ Separation anxiety
❖ Relentless daycare sickness
❖ Mum guilt
❖ Being needed by little people 24 hours a day (eg. not even going to the toilet solo)
❖ Trying to do everything and do it well
The best bits…
❖ Slow mornings
❖ The belly laughs
❖ The long snuggles
❖ Their genuine excitement over the smallest things
❖ Their unconditional love for you (until you say no to a lolly)
❖ The sibling relationship
❖ Seeing my kids be so loved by our circle of family and friends
❖ Family adventures and holidays, everything is more fun with kids (except grocery shopping)
My life is so fulfilled and purposeful since having my babies, that has to be the best part.
How do you make time for you?
I frankly don’t make enough time for me, and we definitely don’t make enough time for us as a couple. It’s something we need to get better at. But when I do make time for me it’s normally in the form of a walk/run, coffee with a friend or pedicure (how lush).
What’s next for you and your family?
Maybe our forever home, maybe a dog, maybe starting a business, maybe a couple more holidays... maybe a 3rd baby if my partner gets his way (I’m still not convinced). All I know is that I try really hard to stop thinking what’s next and just be really happy and grateful for what we already have, because time is fleeting and we love our life.