Monique Forcarile
Tell us about about yourself?
Hello my name is Monique and I am 29, I am a wife and a mum of two very cheeky boys, Alessio who turned two in February and Gabriel who is 9 months old. My husband and I got married in Fiji in 2016 and we own a few hospitality business in Canberra. I also have two very silly miniature dachshunds, Taco and Dobby.
What were you doing before babies?
I was working full time in the ACT government for the last 5 years, playing first grade soccer and travelling with my husband.
How did you come to be a mum?
After our honeymoon in 2016 to America we had planned to start trying for our family. Little did I know how long it would take for this to happen.
My journey to motherhood was very long and difficult. After a year of trying to conceive we met with a fertility specialist where we then learnt I have endometriosis and polycystic ovarian syndrome (pcos). I was given a few options and ultimately decided IVF was our best option. We started our IVF journey in 2018. My first cycle of IVF was cancelled halfway through. My second round I managed to get through a full stim cycle and have eggs collected and an embryo was transferred and I got my beautiful little Alessio in 2019.
We knew we wanted to have kids close in age and obviously going through IVF we knew it was a process that we couldn’t control so when he was 8 months old we went through with IVF again and after a frozen embryo transfer my son Gabriel was born in 2020.
What has your feeding journey been like?
I breastfed my eldest son Alessio for 4 months before we swapped to formula, he had silent reflux and colic and wasn’t gaining weight so we needed to switch to formula. We also learnt later on that he is lactose intolerant (which is making potty training fun). I am still breastfeeding my son Gabriel who is 9 months old, although it hasn’t been the easiest. From getting Mastitis twice to the constant engorgement, the endless lactation cookies, smoothies, litres of water and having to cut out dairy it is very draining. He is currently self weaning, we just feed overnight so I am SO ready to have some freedom back finally.
What has sleep been like in your house?
Both of my kids are terrible terrible sleepers. Alessio from a newborn woke almost every hour until he was a year old, he still wakes 2-3 times a night and also suffers from night terrors and sleep walking. We took him to QE2 and had phone sleep consultations but nothing helped. Gabriel is a little better - he wakes a few times a night but goes back to sleep with a bottle but cat naps during the day unless i sit and rock him.
The hardest bits?
Obviously going through IVF was a roller coaster and incredibly hard, but my birth to Gabriel was one of my most terrifying and hardest things I’ve gone through.
I was due to be induced at 38+5 due to high blood pressure but the night before I was supposed to be induced I suffered a placental abruption. At the time it happened it was 9:40pm and I was asleep, I felt a huge pop and then I was wet and I instantly thought it was my water breaking but when I got to the bathroom it was blood, and lots of it. I screamed and screamed and called the hospital and they told me to hang up and call an ambulance. I thought I had lost my son. I grabbed my husbands car keys and drove myself to hospital and my husband drove my son to our friends house. I arrived at the hospital and was signing god knows what forms and was wheeled into theatre and put to sleep, all on my own without my husband. I woke up 6 hours later and was wheeled into my room where the most beautiful healthy little boy was sleeping with his dad. I am still traumatised to this day and get so emotional taking about Gabriel to people, he’s my little angel. My c section scar goes across my tummy instead of my bikini line, which is nothing compared to having my little boy here.
The best bits?
Everyday. No joke. Everyday that I get to be home with my two kids is the best thing I could ever ask for. We are silly, we cry, we laugh, we have fun every single day.
How do you make time for you?
I struggle with this to be honest, my husband and I don’t have any support or village as they say so we don’t have much time for ourselves unless the other stays with the kids. I guess having a shower and a cup of tea at the end of the day is my relaxing time.
What’s next for you and your family?
We are currently renovating our 1950 house, we have completed half of the build with the other half starting in a few months. It has been years of planning so it’s very exciting for us, we just need to get through it with two young kids.