Megan Mills
Tell us a bit about yourself?
My name is Megan! I grew up in Sydney in a little suburb called Glenorie, in a very close family - me, my twin, and our older sister - and we're still the best of friends... I'm seriously missing seeing them and can't wait until I can head to Sydney for a visit again!
I'm 35, but it seems like the minute I turned 30 I couldn't keep track of my age anymore . I'm the mother of one beautiful boy, and expecting a baby girl in February. As a mum of biracial children and the wife is of a proud Nigerian man, representation, diversity and inclusion is incredibly important to me, and has been long before they were born, or I was married. Part of my contribution to this movement is our small business, Little Black Library, where we've made a conscious effort to stock children's books that fall within the 20% of the children's publishing industry that represents children of colour.
I love music (Afrobeats, Dancehall, Reggae, RnB and HipHop and Musical Theatre ), reading, eating breakfast out, and never had a dependency or taste for coffee until kids
What were you doing before babies?
Before babies (and now) I worked in the Mental Health, Aged Care and Community Services sector, first by my trade as a Diversional Therapist, and later in management and Education, teaching others wanting to earn qualifications in the sector. I moved to Canberra 4 years ago to work with the amazing organisation Mental Illness Education ACT, who share lived experiences of mental illness to raise awareness and encourage help seeking in our Canberran community! On the side (and prior to moving), my husband and I held Afro-Caribbean nightclub events and concerts, bringing some added fun to Canberra's night-life with Vybz Entertainment. My husband still does this to this day, but I've not been able to join a night out since I was pregnant! I fell in love with Canberra even before the move was official and so swiftly it became "home" to me.
How did you come to be a mum?
I became a mum for the first time in 2019, with the birth of my gorgeous Nigerian-Australian boy, Obiora! I had always wanted to be a mum (I know it sounds cliche, but it's true!) but diagnosed with PCOS, I truly wasn't sure if it was to be my reality. My then partner, now husband, decided the time might be right to try in 2018, and after months of not getting positive results, I naturally began to worry. At the same time a few life events meant the idea of "trying" was put on hold, and our attention was focused elsewhere. And then of course, without timing and tracking and trying and giving it all my focus... It happened! My pregnancy was pretty bearable, outside of Gestational Diabetes, and with a "precipitous labour" of under 30 minutes, it was an intense, but thankfully short (and medication/intervention free) undertaking that brought me into motherhood and my boy into this world! I'm currently pregnant with our second Baby, due in February!
What has your feeding journey been like?
I have been incredibly fortunate that our feeding journey has been an easy and long-lasting one, both for me and for Obi! From the first latch we fell into our own rhythm and found patience with each other along the way, ebbs and flows included! I feel it's been a major contributor to the connection and security we share, and has seen us through tears, fears and bouts of illness. After 2.5 years my milk supply ceased due to me being pregnant again, (it just stopped fast at 20 weeks) bringing us to a natural end.
What has sleep been like in your house?
Sleep was something I TOTALLY took for granted before kids! I could fall asleep within seconds and sleep deeply all through the night, well into mid morning if left uninterrupted! Needless to say... That all changed! I don't think I've had a full nights sleep since February 2019 Obi is a very cuddly boy, and for a while that mean he would only sleep if I was near or he was on me (he still likes to be close). We're finally getting full night's sleeps, but with baby #2 on the way, outside of the discomfort stage I'm starting to experience, I also know those all nighters might be again my reality in 3 or so months!
The hardest bits…
The hardest parts for me has been staying true to my identity and the fact that it's allowed to change! I struggled to relinquish the reins to my identity as a successful leader or career woman, but every inch of me yearned to be with my boy, soaking up memories and moments. I wondered if I would long for work after over a decade of it being all I knew and loved, but honestly the millisecond Obi was born, my brain and heart became something else... Someone else's. It's brought new perspectives to my work role, it's brought understanding to my relationships with colleagues and clients, and I believe, gives me greater thoughtfulness for the future!
Other hard parts was really the juggling of expectations within the home, and raising my little one away from any family support.
The best bits…
The best bits have been the ways I have grown as a woman, as a human, because of my son! Seeing the world new, soaking up allllll the cuddles, drinking in the giggles and making memories that will bond us for life. Other best bits? I still like to sneak in a midday nap on the weekends with Obiora, which kind of makes up for years of restless nights , and getting to explore Canberra in a way I never would have, had I not had children! It's also been the friendships I've made solely through motherhood, who have become my inner circle. Seeing Obi's brilliantly cheeky, smart and imaginative character develop as his vocabulary has allowed him to share has been the most captivating, remarkable and hilarious aspect of parenting so far. There's not a day I am not either laughing or in awe of the comments that come from his little mouth!
How do you make time for yourself?
I try to make time for passions outside of parenting. This includes using my brain in ways other than keeping humans alive and content - like running our nightclub events from the sidelines and recently embarking on a new small business journey - Little Black Library - a children's book store specialising in greater representation and diversity! These moments are a great chance to use my creativity and connect with others and make my world that little bit more expanded (from the comfort of my home!). Also, while working, those 15 mins between drop off and arriving at work, are THE BEST 15 mins for Blasting the old school Rap and RnB and letting go!
What’s next for you and your family?
The next major milestone will surely be the arrival of our Baby Girl in February! In the meantime, relaxing of restrictions means our events can hopefully kick back off, and I can spend some time expanding our small business, Little Black Library as much as possible before our new arrival completes our little fam! I'm also considering returning to study (I'm a giant self-professed nerd), to qualify in Psychology, which hopefully might spark the next leg of my eventual career journey...
A piece of advice for our readers?
My advice would be that YOU know yourself and YOU know your baby/babies - trying to fit within expectations of others, what social media tells us we need to be, do and have, or our own self stigmatised views of aspirational motherhood can be really disheartening and tiring to continually try to live up to. It's OK to be honest about the limitations we have, the help we need, and the way we advocate for our little ones.
The other advice I'd love to share: don't shy away from "big or hard topics" because your babies are well... Babies! Building in chances for our little ones to talk about differences, culture, history, inclusion, disability, emotions, environmental impacts etc allows us all to grow more accepting and thoughtful as a community, and helps our littles know that home is a non judgemental place to learn and grow.
If you would like to check out Megans online book store, Little Black Library, you can access via www.littleblacklibrary.com.au
This beautiful store has a curated collection of diverse books for ages 0 - 12+