Elizabeth-Roze Beath-Williams

Tell us a bit about yourself?

My name is Bella, I’m a Student Midwife and Public Servant, I am also a Mama of two and a fiancé. My son Keanu is 3.5 years old and our little girl Alayah is just 4 months. I have been engaged to my high school sweetheart for over a year now however, we have been together for 9 whole years this coming October which is so special!

What were you doing before babies?

Well as a young mum, I was about half way through my first year of University studying Psychology when we found out I was pregnant. Studying was/is very important to me so I continued to study and work part time throughout my pregnancy, while my partner did lots of living away from home for work!

How did you come to be a mum?

In conjunction with the previous question, we found out I was pregnant with my first baby by total surprise!

Since I could remember having babies is something I have always wanted. I am one of four children and I was always helping mum in any way I could to take care of my siblings. So when I found out I was pregnant I just knew that journey was going to start a little earlier than we planned. I had a pretty good pregnancy although, I ended up experiencing quite a bit of reduced fetal movement towards the end and it was decided that an induction at 40+1 would be our best option. The induction itself went well however, it did end in a Caesarean section due to his position in my pelvis. He was born a healthy boy at a whopping 4.6kg!

With my second baby I knew I wanted things to be totally different. We planned for Alayah this time and made sure that we continued to surround ourselves with supportive people. Through my studies as a Student Midwife I was lucky enough to whiteness normal physiological births and I knew I needed that for myself. We landed good with our amazing Midwife who advocated for me during my whole pregnancy and she supported my goal for a VBAC. This time around was a totally different experience, my pregnancy was pretty much textbook and I was induced again (for post dates). I had my waters broken and in 6 hours our little girl was here without any complications. It was the most euphoric experience of my life!

What has your feeding journey been like?

With Keanu breastfeeding was HARD! He had a tongue tie and because my birth experience, all of the interferences just made it that bit more difficult. I honestly did it all… Expressing, top ups, bottle feeding, syringe feeding and it was a lot! I was so determined to breastfeed and with so much support from my partner and family I persevered and fed him for 5 months before transitioning to formula due to digestive issues. I was absolutely devastated!

Fast forward to now and it has been a totally different experience. I have so far exclusively breastfed our little girl since she was born. She too had a tongue tie (almost a total tie actually) and I had damaged nipples but we just preserved through it until it was cut. Because of the tie she had a slight decrease in her weight but it was nothing major and we overcame it pretty quickly after the release. I plan on breastfeeding her for at least 12 months, so fingers crossed everything continues to go smoothly. Again, I have had a lot of support from my partner and family which has been so amazing. I love breastfeeding and it makes me sad to think there will be a time for her and I to move on from that journey.

What has sleep been like in your house?

Keanu was of course a challenge but slept through the night from around 6/7 months and has done so ever since! We are pretty stern about bedtime routines in our house and it works really well for us all to have that consistency. He did however, recently go through a really difficult time experiencing night terrors and separation anxiety which lasted a few weeks. It was so hard on our household because he was always such a great sleeper. There were many rough nights and a lot of tears (from both of us), caving in to sleeping in our bed and eventually I got to the point where it wasn’t sustainable. I was still waking during the night to feed Alayah and my partner was having to move to a different room most nights. Our bed is our boundary when it comes to both of our children, so I cut back to basics. It was three nights of consistency and perseverance, lots and lots of reassurance and he eventually just went back to normal. THANK GOODNESS!

Alayah is so far pretty “good” whatever that is for a 4 month old! In my time as a mother I have had to teach myself a lot about infant sleep. I’ve done a lot of research and in my personal experience, consistency and routine is what works for us. She has naturally slotted into our routine and as the second child, she’s pretty resilient. So they both typically sleep from 7PM-7AM! We are currently going through a slight regression and she has her moments but my mindset is - if we don’t get it right one day, we just try again the next!

The hardest bits…

I think as a mum we’ve all been there and had those moments where we feel alone despite our hearts being so full. The mental load that mums take on can be so overwhelming because there’s always something, no matter what you’re always thinking about what needs to be done next. For me, the mental “to do list” is always the hardest, because nobody does it like mama does it! Letting go and sharing the load with those around you does make it easier.

The best bits…

Oh the best bits!! I love my children and I love the home we have made for them. I have always told my partner that it doesn’t matter where we are, a home can be anything as long as we have each other.

Nothing compares to seeing a smile on your babies face and watching them thrive as they learn new things. I’m obsessed with the imagination my son has, I learn so much from him and he is just such a gentle soul. And our little Alayah, she is so resilient and already so boisterous and outgoing, I can’t wait to see her flourish into her personality.

How do you make time for yourself?

LOL. Well it’s rare!!! But usually at the end of every night I like to wind down by myself while everyone’s in bed and just tick off those last mental tasks on my checklist. My favourite things to do are my skincare routine, going for a massage, shopping, and I catch up with a friend at least once a week. It’s so important for me to have moments throughout the days/weeks that are just for me and space from my children so that I can continue to be the best mum possible. I like to give them 100% of my attention so that I’m able to be present and live in the moment.

What’s next for you and your family?

Well we are planning our Wedding for next year which is so exciting! There’s lots in the works for us and I can’t wait to see these next chapters unfold.

If you could talk to your pre baby/kid self, what advice would you give?

I think just to always work hard for what you want and that nothing can be achieved over night. Knowledge is power, so alwayssss do your research! And that it’s okay to let go of the things that don’t bring you happiness. It’s also okay to have children young, the only opinion that matters is standing right in front of you.